The Model Who Accused Terry Richardson Of Sexually Assaulting Her Reported Him To The Police

Earlier this week, the story of a 19-year-old model’s face-to-jizz encounter with the human version of a white windowless van Terry Richardson went viral and it was one of the many horror stories from women who had to scrub their skin with a Chore Boy after shooting with Lady CaCa’s homeboy. She initially wrote it anonymously on Reddit, but after it went viral she came forward and told her entire story to Vocativ. It’s long, so it’s all after the cut. Continue reading

“Heeeeeeeeeere’s Jesus!”

Thanks to Uncle Terry and his man muse Jared Leto, you now know what it would look like if a hipster Jesus starred in a gay porn parody of The Shining. The hairy nipples and wet American Apparel chonies are really the stars of this pic.

Uncle Terry shat up these pictures on his Tumblr yesterday of Jordan Catalano looking like a greasy, coked up, mostly waxed Jesus in Tulum, Mexico. Never mind that Uncle Terry will shoot a close-up of a pore on a chick’s clit yet there’s a big white towel covering Jesus Jared’s “hurt like Satan” dick in almost all of these pictures, I still don’t know how it’s possible that Jared Leto is 42 years old. Jared Leto looks so damn young that even noted cradle robber Taylor Swift is trying to get on that. What is the secret to his youthful beauty? Does he maintain his youth by sacrificing a stolen newborn baby to Papa Legba ever year? Don’t even say that the fountain of youth is Uncle Terry’s dick and Jared keeps his youthful pretty intact by getting Uncle Terry jizz facials during their vacations together, because that’s obviously not true. I mean, Lindsay Lohan has probably been there, done that, swallowed it and smeared it and look at her.

Pics: Terry’s Diary

Miley Cyrus Really Took Sinead O’Connor’s Advice

You might want to scream at your co-workers to stay out of the office bathroom and to clear a path for you, because these pictures by Uncle Terry of Miley Cyrus suffocating her lizard clit with a leotard will make you want to give your tortured eyeballs a whore bath in the sink.

So yesterday, difficult brown conquerer Sinead O’Connor posted a long open letter to Miley Cyrus in response to Miley saying that her video for Wrecking Ball was inspired by Sinead’s video for Nothing Compares 2 U. Sinead told Miley to put her clothes back on and press the stop button on all the ho shit, because she might think that she’s empowering young women by being all sexually free and shit, but she’s basically just a prostitution whore pop puppet who’s making rich old music executives even richer. Every time Miley thrusts her barely-covered crotch, a music executive’s checking account grows. You can read Sinead’s entire “slap to Miley’s chipmunk head” letter here, but here’s the part where she tells Miley to basically disown everyone who hasn’t told her to stop (cut to Billy Ray shaking out of his mullet).

You also said in Rolling Stone that your look is based on mine. The look I chose, I chose on purpose at a time when my record company were encouraging me to do what you have done. I felt I would rather be judged on my talent and not my looks. I am happy that I made that choice, not least because I do not find myself on the proverbial rag heap now that I am almost 47 yrs of age.. which unfortunately many female artists who have based their image around their sexuality, end up on when they reach middle age.

Real empowerment of yourself as a woman would be to in future refuse to exploit your body or your sexuality in order for men to make money from you. I needn’t even ask the question.. I’ve been in the business long enough to know that men are making more money than you are from you getting naked. Its really not at all cool. And its sending dangerous signals to other young women. Please in future say no when you are asked to prostitute yourself. Your body is for you and your boyfriend. It isn’t for every spunk-spewing dirtbag on the net, or every greedy record company executive to buy his mistresses diamonds with.

As for the shedding of the Hannah Montana image.. whoever is telling you getting naked is the way to do that does absolutely NOT respect your talent, or you as a young lady. Your records are good enough for you not to need any shedding of Hannah Montana. She’s waaaaaaay gone by now.. Not because you got naked but because you make great records.

Whether we like it or not, us females in the industry are role models and as such we have to be extremely careful what messages we send to other women. The message you keep sending is that its somehow cool to be prostituted.. its so not cool Miley.. its dangerous. Women are to be valued for so much more than their sexuality. we aren’t merely objects of desire. I would be encouraging you to send healthier messages to your peers.. that they and you are worth more than what is currently going on in your career. Kindly fire any motherfucker who hasn’t expressed alarm, because they don’t care about you.

I’m kind of disappointed that Sinead didn’t throw a difficult brown reference in there, so let me do it for her: Miley, the music industry is a giant blob of anal numbing gel. You think that it’s helping you and is allowing you to have the hardest, best ass pounding you’ve ever had, but it’s really just masking the pain. When the numbness wears off and the gel is gone, the only thing you’ll be left with is a torn asshole and a bloody puddle of regrets. Okay, no that didn’t make any sense, but a Sinead post felt incomplete without butt sex talk.

And being the mature, smart and classy cunt that she is, Miley responded to Sinead’s thoughtful piece of advice by comparing her to Amanda Bynes and tweeting some tweets from a Twitter account that doesn’t even belong to the real Sinead.

And here’s what Sinead was talking about. It’s Miley looking like a barely legal lizard chipmunk with her nipple out while Uncle Terry’s tip gets moist. Give your eyeballs a pep talking before clicking on this NSFW mess.

Pics: Terry’s Diary

Miley Cyrus’ Transformation Is Complete

It feels like Miley Cyrus’ transformation into a “ratchet white girl” has led up to this. Miley Cyrus and Terry Richardson finally joined skank forces and farted out pictures that are so damn classy and refined that you’ll want to print them out and use them as tea coasters at your next ladies luncheon. I shouldn’t hate. Because nothing is sexier than looking like you’re trying hard to poot out a stubborn pussy fart. And who doesn’t want to look like a pug drooling on itself after falling asleep during a fap session?

Pics: Terry Richardson’s Diary

Demi Moore Is Back On The Prowl After Getting Dumped

I would say to chain your 20-something sons to the water heater and lock them in the garage, but that’s a waste of time. They just can’t resist jumping on Demi Moore’s twerk train. They’ll whittle their teeth down into shanks by biting through the chains and then they’ll use their whittled down teeth to pick the lock on the garage door. When a single Demi comes to town, sticks out her ass, raises her leg and sprays her cub-luring scent, 20-something dudes just can’t stay away. So just let them go and pray that they don’t marry her ass, because who really wants to be Tater Head’s stepfather?

Page Six says that Demi Moore is no longer rubbing her cougar cooch against the crater face of 26-year-old art dealer/trust fund kid Vito Schnabel, because he wants to be taken seriously as a SERIOUS art person! Vito dumped Demi right after she showed up in Miami for Art Basel, because he doesn’t want the paparazzi following him around and he’s mad that she kept trying to distract him while he was trying to do SERIOUS ART BUSINESS work! You know, it’s kind of like when you got that part-time job at Blockbuster and your mom showed up during your lunch hour with a Subway sandwich and you’re like, “Moooom! I’m trying to do SERIOUS MOVIE BUSINESS work! You’re embarrassing me!” It’s kind of like that, but instead of bringing him a Subway sandwich, Demi kept trying to fuck him on the spot. Some source said this about Demi’s latest break-up:

“Vito has worked very hard to be taken seriously in the art business, and doesn’t want to be seen as somebody who dates celebrities. He hated having photographers follow him around after word got out about him and Demi. And Vito wasn’t too happy that Demi flew down to party at Art Basel while he was working to build his business. It was a distraction he didn’t need while all the big collectors were in town.”

Whatever, it’s Vito’s loss. Vito dumping Demi didn’t stop her twerk. On Friday night in Miami, Demi and Stacy Keibler showed up to Terry Richardson’s party. I’m so happy that Terry is 500 years too old for Demi and that she’s 500 years too old for him, because I don’t want to think about him spraying his peen paint on her eyeglass lenses at the end of the night.

Lindsay Lohan And Terry Richardson Are Doing This Again

Lindsay Lohan should probably be at her local H&R Block to ask their asses if they can sort out her tax situation in exchange for a suitcase of stolen joree and a week’s worth of sloppy hand jobs, but instead she’s posing for Terry Richardson again. Actually, these pictures are outtakes from her photo shoot for Love Magazine, so they’re probably a few months old, but they somehow made their way onto the Internet yesterday. Uh huh. That leak smells like a used urinal cake, a barback’s bin, a barf burp, peroxide, old sardine juice and cigarette butts, so I’m sure White Oprah leaked this shit to make all of us forget the last photo shoot LiLo did with Uncle Terry.

That last photo shoot looked like scenes from a retirement for crack whores and in this one she actually looks good? Maybe it’s because I’m always used to seeing LiLo looking like four layers of hell loosely wrapped around lukewarm tragic, but these aren’t that bad. We’ve all seen worse and the “nothing difficult about this brown” pose is a true work of sophisticated classiness. And I can already hear the “CLOSE YER MOUTH, BITCH” comments, but if your nostril canal was like a maze game, you too would be a permanent mouth breather.