Brad Pitt And Sienna Miller Were Stroking Each Other At Glastonbury

June 26, 2017 / Posted by:

A couple of months ago, Page Six said that 53-year-old Brad Pitt and 35-year-old Sienna Miller were flirting with each other at a dinner after the premiere for The Lost City of Z. That made sense since it seems like Brad’s tip gets moist for famous boho hos and Sienna loves high drama. Sienna farted on that rumor by saying it was “predictable and silly.” But The Sun says that at Glastonbury over the weekend, Brad and Sienna had their hands all over each other backstage and couldn’t stop “stroking” one another. We all know what they mean by “stroking,” (or do we?) but let me just have the image of Brad Pitt and Sienna Miller stroking each other’s fuck parts in front of a crowd who wondered if they were on a serious kind of molly and hallucinating or if PiSi was on a serious kind of molly.

A source tells The Sun that Brad and Sienna stroked on each other early Saturday morning in the VIP area backstage before going off to a private Winnebego to make that thing rock (or fill that thing with snores since it was after 3 in the damn morning).

“Brad and Sienna couldn’t keep their hands off each other, touching and stroking each other at every opportunity. They seemed really intimate. Brad had been keeping a relatively low profile at the festival, but emerged with the masses at 3am to link up with Sienna after she’d spent the night partying with their mutual pal Bradley Cooper and Noel Gallagher in the VIP Park backstage bar.

They seemed keen to get away from prying eyes and made a dash for the Rabbit Hole, the festival’s underground and exclusive venue, with a group of friends and were inseparable as they waited to go inside. The party was cut short and they had to leave after five minutes because the venue was closing. Bradley Cooper left and Brad and Sienna headed back arm in arm to their private Winnebego.”

A different source tells The Daily Star (I know, I know) that Brad and Sienna were also kissing backstage. Brad’s rep refused to comment when The Daily Mail asked him about this. New Idea also said that Brad recently went out on a date with 53-year-old Elle Macpherson, who has split from her billionaire husband.

If Brad and Sienna really did touch mouths and stroke each other at Glastonbury, I’m sure someone took grainy pictures and are currently shopping them around to the highest bidder. How is Sienna going to deny that shit if pictures come out? Actually, it’d be easy to explain. She could say that she was only putting her mouth on Brad’s to stop him from talking about his stupid art. Or she could say that she was at Glastonbury, and since they put Ecstasy in the bottled water at musical festivals, she was rolling hard and “stroking” anything and everything around her. It’s true, Ecstasy turns you into a massage therapist on meth. Case in point: my “friend” giving a back massage to a giant speaker at a rave in the late-90s.

Pics: The Sun, Getty

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