Category: Sandra Bullock
Jesse James Says The Saddest Part About His Divorce From Sandra Bullock Was Losing His Son
Jesse James, the answer directly under All About Steve in the category of “Things I wish I hadn’t done” on the Family Feud board of Sandra Bullock’s life, is still talking about Sandra Bullock. Congratulations on your continued relevancy, Jesse James!
Sandy’s dirtbag ex-husband recently appeared on In Depth with Graham Bensinger (via UsWeekly) and talked about that time he killed his five-year marriage to Sandra Bullock by slipping his exhaust pipe to a bunch of side pieces. Yes, that shit happened back in 2010, and yes, he still has feelings about it. Specifically, regarding how Sandy and “Hollywood Law” took his adopted son away from him.
Sandra Bullock’s New Piece Is A Dog Shit Vigilante
We as a people disagree on pretty much everything, but I think we can all agree that abandoned dog shit is the worst. It drives people crazy and I’ve seen tricks nearly throw punches over it. I don’t like that mess either, because every time I walk my dog and he sees a pile of unclaimed doggy dumps on the sidewalk, he has to try to sniff it and I don’t want to see that nasty scat queen side of him. Not yesterday. Not today. Not tomorrow. Not ever. But as much as everyone hates un-picked up pooch caca, nobody hates it as much as Sandra Bullock’s new piece Bryan Randall. If he sees you not picking some up, he’ll pick it up for you and then smear it all over your door.
Things You Need To Know: Sandra Bullock Is Dating A “Super Hot” Photographer Now
Because I’m a very serious journalist, I get very important up-to-the-minute news alerts sent to my phone. Stuff like whether The Deaner is still crushing it at life (“Fuckin’ yeah, I am!” hollers The Deaner from the front row of Señor Low Expectation’s Discount Strip Club) and videos of squirrels getting stuck in bird feeders. You know, the real hard-hitting news. But the EXTRA EXTRA BREAKING NEWS I woke up to this morning was about Sandra Bullock and who she’s texting winky-eye emojis to. Eh, they can’t all be front-page winners, right?
UsWeekly says that Sandy B is currently dating a photographer. But not just any photographer, mind you. He’s a “super hot” photographer. Open the windows, it just got Toni Braxton “You’re Makin’ Me High” levels of hot in here! Several loose-lipped types spilled all the details to UsWeekly about Sandy’s new man:
“He’s a photographer,” says an insider. But he’d be just as well-suited in front of the camera. “Sandra’s boyfriend is very attractive,” one source explains, while another adds, “he’s super hot but also super normal. She’s clearly happy with him.”
They also add that Sandy brought her hot photographer boyfriend to Jennifer Aniston and Justin Theroux’s wedding two weeks ago. I bet that’s how Sandy’s new boyfriend got the nickname “super hot” – anything to distinguish him from the other photographer in attendance, Creepy Uncle Terry Richardson.
Guest 1: “Sandra Bullock brought her new boyfriend. He’s the photographer.”
Guest 2: “Which one? The super hot one? Or the one who keeps making an uncomfortable amount of eye contact and asking if anyone wants to ‘catch his bouquet’?”
Guest 1: “The super hot one.”
Pic: Wenn.com
As Sandra Bullock’s Publicists Take A Bow….
It’s that time of year again when I look at People Magazine’s “World’s Most Beautiful So And So” of the year and furiously do a Google search to make sure that Shauna Sand, Phoebe Price, Bai Ling, Micaela Schäfer, Grace Jones, Detective La Toya Jackson, Joan Collins, Peaches and Cream Barbie, Rojo Caliente, Betty White, Bella Mia and Jocelyn Wildenstein are still alive. Because obviously the title winner won by default after all those stunning beauties died. But then I remembered that the title winner is just the client of the publicists who won a shank fight against other publicists in People’s break room.
People named Sandra Bullock as their most Beautiful Woman IN DA WORLD for 2015. But you know, Sandra Bullock’s publicists shouldn’t totally pat themselves on the taint for a job well done, because I’m surprised she hasn’t been on this cover before. I thought this cover was from 1997.
File Under “Terrifying”: Here’s Sandra Bullock’s 911 Call
Last summer, a creepy stalker type who was obsessed Sandra Bullock broke into her house while she and her 4-year-old son Louis were home. That thought alone is enough to give someone nightmares for life, but now, thanks to TMZ, we have the audio from the call Sandra made to 911, and yes, it’s exactly as terrifying as you think it is.
The 911 call was played in court during the trial of Sandra’s stalker Joshua Corbett yesterday. The call was made shortly after 6:30am on Sunday, June 8th 2014 after Sandra heard someone in her house and saw him make his way up to her attic. That’s when Sandra grabbed her kid, headed for the panic room in her closet, and called 911.
I am going to study this 911 call inside and out, because I need to figure out how Sandra Bullock didn’t totally freak the fuck out. Yes, she’s freaking out a bit, but on a scale of Pearl from Drag Race to Gary Busey on an espresso binge, she’s about a 4. I can’t even imagine what I would sound like on a 911 call if a stalker broke into my house. No wait, I totally can: I wouldn’t even have to make a call to 911, because the police would be able to hear me screaming “SHIT SHIT SHIT FUCK SHIT BALLS NO!!!!!” halfway across town.
Joshua Corbett’s defense lawyers might as well just pack up their attache cases and go home, because that 911 call is all the evidence a jury needs to convict Joshua of the most heinous crime of all: scaring the shit out of American treasure Sandra Bullock.
Chelsea Handler Got All Her Famous Friends To Say Goodbye To Her Show Last Night
Last night was the finale episode of Chelsea Lately, thus ending Chelsea Handler’s 7 year run as E!’s drunk aunt. And to celebrate being free from no longer having to walk the halls at E! and smell the stink of Lucifer’s ball sweat wafting off the Kardashians (or 7 seasons, whatever) she called up all the famous hos in her life and told them to put on something clean-ish and get their asses down to her studio to sing her ass off the stage. And they all showed up, probably because Chelsea’s dog Chunk commanded them to do so with his adorable face. Look at Chunk Handler! I’d rob a liquor store for that dog if he asked me to! No, you’re right, I wouldn’t; but I’d definitely consider it. Continue reading