Yesterday those of you in the Greater Los Angeles area may have felt a low rumble ’round mid-afternoon. No, it wasn’t one of your terrifying earthquakes. It was a seismic sigh of relief coming from Casa Del Ariana Grande. For the wee nymphette finally removed her 58-pound synthetic ponytail. Whew. This isn’t the first time, and hopefully it won’t be the last. That poor scalp!
Ariana uploaded the “au naturale” results to Instagram. Because if a pop star changes her hair without posting it to the ‘Gram… did it even happen?
Walking ponytail, Ariana Grande, is just like us. She’s holed up in her house, hanging with pets, wasting time on social media, and getting the corona fucked outta her by a new boyfriend. The boyfriend is Dalton Gomez.
You may remember Dalton from his earlier work as “Mystery Makeout Dude At Bar”. Sigh. Remember a time when two people could suck face in public without wearing masks or getting hissed at? Our grandkids will never believe us when we spin such fantastical yarns. “Granny. What is a ‘pooblic bar’? Cough cough. Was it… under the ‘sun’?”
Ariana Grande seems to be doing all right post-break up with Pete Davidson. She even had the energy to yodel it out Broadway-style when she filmed a Halloween Wicked special last week. And not to mention she’s getting comfort from her adorable pet piglet, Piggy Smalls. You know the saying “Men are pigs”? No ma’am: Pigs are better than men.
Pete Davidson and Ariana Grande recently elevated their commitment to each other by co-parenting a new baby micro pig. And Entertainment Tonight reports that two days ago, Pete’s tattoo artist Instagrammed a picture of the latest work to get added to Pete’s ever-growing art gallery on his body. It would appear he recently got a tattoo of Winnie the Pooh (that kind of looks like a Shrinky Dink of Pooh that was left in the toaster oven too long), and a scribbled interpretation of their new pig, which apparently has been bestowed with the name: Piggy Smallz.
Although maybe it’s because I’m not wearing my glasses, but it kind of reads like Piggy Smallth to me, which makes sense if the goal was to spell it how Mike Tyson might pronounce it. And I’d also love an explanation as to why Piggy Smallz is wearing what appears to be Superstar Barbie’s earrings on his face, but I’m happy to wait for that.
I’m sure Pete and Ariana thought they’d hit the creative punny pet name jackpot with Piggy Smallz, but sadly they’re not the first. Megan Fox once owned a pig named Piggy Smalls, but she had to give it away after he became “sexually aggressive.” A potbelly pig named Piggy Smalls also made the news last year in Oregon after escaping from its owners and going on the run from police for several months. Do your research next time, you two! If they had, they would have known that Gettin’ Piggy With It just has so much more pizzazz.