Category: NO

Um, A “Who’s The Boss?” Sequel Is In The Works WITHOUT Mona!

August 5, 2020 / Posted by:

We all know that the answer to the question, “Who’s the boss?“, was Mona Robinson and Mona Robinson only. But since Hollywood doesn’t give a minuscule crumb of shit about blatant facts, they are doing a sequel to Who’s The Boss? without Mona Robinson since Mona Robinson (played to glamorous ginger perfection by Katherine Helmond) is now making heaven a more gorgeous place. Deadline says that the Who’s The Boss? sequel will only star Alyssa Milano and Tony Danza. They should go ahead and call the sequel Who Asked For This? since that’s what everybody is going to ask without Mona and regular servings of Angela Bower.

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The Company Bringing Back James Dean From The Dead Will Do The Same With Many, Many Other Dead Celebrities

November 14, 2019 / Posted by:

Even though people have seemingly reacted quite strongly in the “please stop this” category when it comes to creating these hologram/CGI bastardizations of dead celebrities, the company who plans to make money off the enterprise is not giving up. They will make a profit off dead people whose talents cannot be recreated because they are dead. The will find a way to make it appealing to watch a movie while thinking: “Hmm, so that’s a person who’s playing James Dean-who’s playing a character? …So actual James Dean has nothing to do with this? He’s just dead?”

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Madonna Has Put Out Her New Single And Well…

April 17, 2019 / Posted by:

Seen above dressed like a child beauty pageant queen about to do a dance performance of the Dixie Chicks’ White Trash Wedding, Madonna has queefed out Medellin, the first single off her new album Madame X. Madge has taken a much-needed break from terrorizing the corneas of her Instagram followers with beyond filtered selfies from creepy HELL and has been using her social media pages to tease her new album and new song with Colombian singer Maluma.

The look for Madge’s new album is like something out of a knock-off Quentin Tarantino movie, so I was into it, but the first song sounds like a Selena Gomez bonus track on the Japanese edition of one of her albums from 2013. No offense to Selena Gomez, bonus tracks, Japanese editions, or 2013.

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Just What Everyone Has Been Asking For: A #MeToo Atonement Series Hosted By Charlie Rose

April 26, 2018 / Posted by:

We all knew it was only a matter of time before all the accused sexual harassing drops of dried smegma crawled back on the public stage to cry for their careers back. But it’s happening much sooner than I thought and it’s supposedly happening in a very “Are we sure this shit ain’t from The Onion” sort of way. Fellow accused sexual harasser Charlie Rose is reportedly trying to lead the parade of the poor pervs by doing a TV show where he interviews fallen alleged abusers like Matt Lauer. Congratulations to the makers of glycerine tears, because a few thousand bottles will be bought so that Lauer and the like can cry out a river of injustice for the camera. I wonder if Charlie will get a prison cell interview with Ole’ Puddin’ Pop?

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Okay, But Which One Of Them Is Going To Play Officer Sugar Tits?

February 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Variety says that Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson are starring together in a movie about police brutality. You know, when you think of two actors who are capable of delicately handling a serious issue like police brutality, you automatically think of Vince Vaughn and Mel Gibson. So this makes sense! And I bet Vince Vaughn is playing Officer Sugar Tits. Officer Goat Beard will spend most of the movie trying to resist the urge to get that azúcar by motorboating Officer Sugar Tits.

S. Craig Zahler (who wrote and directed Bone Tomahawk) is writing and directing this future shit show called Dragged Across Concrete. Sadly, I don’t think Mad Mel’s character is the one who gets dragged across concrete. Variety posted the plot summary and it is every kind of NOPE.

Gibson and Vaughn will play cops who are suspended when a video of their strong-arm tactics gets wide attention. They then descend into the criminal underworld to exact vengeance.

Vince was in Mad Mel’s Hacksaw Ridge, and the two also recently joined forces in hating Meryl Streep’s Golden Globes speech.

I haven’t checked yet, but I wouldn’t be surprised if this shit already has a Rotten Tomatoes page and a user named “GeorgeZimmerman” has already given it 5 stars.

In August, it was reported that Mad Mel is doing a movie with Sean Penn. Yesterday, I read that Mad Mel may do Daddy’s Home 2 with Marky Mark, And today brought this mess of a story. I’m afraid to open up my laptop tomorrow morning because I have a feeling there will be a story about how Mad Mel is starring in a movie that’s written by Woody Allen and directed by Roman Polanski.



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