It’s the weekend of cryptic teasers! In the time-honored tradition of pop divas ripping each other off (like Gaga and Madge, Beyonce and everybody’s choreography, Billie Eilish and that scary girl in high school who beat you up behind the gym for looking at her boyfriend), Madonna looked over at Taylor Swift’s pastel dreamland countdown tease and screamed, “But I’m still relevant, too, you young hussy!” And promptly teased something of her own.
Meet Madame X! Or meet Madame X’s resume, at least.
— Madonna (@Madonna) April 13, 2019
As Vulture points out, it’s the answer to a question no one was asking.
Madonna posted an enigmatic tweet answering the question no one knew to ask: Who is Madame X? “Madame X is a secret agent,” she wrote. “Traveling around the world/Changing identities/Fighting for freedom/Bringing light to dark places.”
Who is Madame X, really? Is Madge rebooting “Who’s That Girl?” and this is the answer? Is Madame X a new album concept? Or a movie she’s directed badly? Maybe it’s a tourism-board branding campaign for her new headquarters in Portugal. The suspense isn’t killing anyone!
And does Madame X have anything to do with an Instagram post that Madge recently threw up of two kids playing around with green screen technology? Or were those just the two life forces she was having for lunch that day?
What Madame X SHOULD be is the alias Madonna should have used when she gave that horribly self-centered “eulogy” for Aretha Franklin while dressed as junkyard Jesus. Jennifer Lopez pretending she was Motown’s brightest star was less awkward and embarrassing.
Update: It’s a new album.
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