Category: Matthew Broderick
“Ferris Bueller’s Day Off” Is Getting A Spin-Off
In another example that Hollywood has not actually run out of ideas but, in reality, is too lazy to come up with anything new, the 80s classic Ferris Bueller’s Day Off is getting a spin-off. Having seen both viewer and critical success with the Karate Kid series Cobra Kai, creators Jon Hurwitz, Hayden Schlossberg, and Josh Heald realized they could milk even MORE out of the content from the Greed Decade. It took us 40 years but we’re finally getting around to seeing the John Hughes Universe come to life!
Someone Stole All Of Sarah Jessica Parker’s Halloween Pumpkins
Sarah Jessica Parker received more tricks than treats this Halloween when she revealed that someone had stolen her Halloween decorations. No, Sarah Jessica is not missing a cardboard cut-out of Kim Cattrall wearing a black pointy hat and riding a witch’s broom. Sarah had a bunch of pumpkins that were sitting on her stoop, and some pumpkin thief took all of them.
Sarah Jessica Parker Slapped At The National Enquirer For Claiming They Caught Her Screaming With Matthew Broderick
I don’t personally know the dynamic that exists in Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick’s marriage. Is it happy? Mundane? Communication made solely through the intercom of their multi-million-dollar Manhattan townhome? Who even knows. Except for The National Enquirer, who thought they had it all figured out. They were all ready to go with a story exposing THE CURRENT TRUTH about Sarah and Matthew. But it didn’t get very far after Sarah decided to shut down the story before it ever saw the light of day.
Too Easy.
via Wenn.com
Christina Hendricks’ Magnificent Chichis Keep On Giving
To remind those skinny simpleton hos (see: SJP, Olivia Munn, Jordin Sparks, the boy version of The Shining Twins, etc…) that nothing dims their shine like her megawatt titties, Christina Hendricks employed a trio of midgets with step stools to push up her massive mammary mounds up to the lord’s nose and into a dress made of carbon thread so that she could shimmy shimmy coco puff on the red carpet at last night’s NYC premiere of I Don’t Know How She Does It (said every training bra tramp when staring at the duo of back breakers on Christina’s chest).
You know, Christina’s titty game never gets old to me. Never. Every time my eyeballs jump across them I see something new. Sometimes I see two Swedish bossy bottoms doing ass to ass with a double-sided dildo and this time I see a double-amputee CoCo trying to 69 with Christina. She’s got the Rorschach test of tits!
Even Matthew Broderick doesn’t know what to do with himself since all of the oxygen is being sucked up by Christina’s nipples and he can feel THEM CHICHIS closing in on his face. It’s like he’s trying to sing showtunes in his head to keep himself from falling into a full-on chichis-induced breakdown. “Cliiiimb ev’reeeeee mountain – Oh, shit I can’t do that one. The hiiiiiiills are aaaaaahlive – Fuck, not that one either. Beeeeeaaaaauty and the breeeeeeeeeassssts – SHIT!” It’s okay, Matthew, just think of them as two Swedish bossy bottoms doing ass to ass and everything will be alright.
Here’s more hos who tried to outshine Christina’s magnificent chichis last night but failed. In order: Olivia Munn, Greg Kinnear, Jordin Sparks, SJP, Matthew Broderick, twin toddlers in fucking satin and JACKIE COLLINS!
