The Time That Billy Corgan Warned Marilyn Manson About Rose McGowan

Emily The Strange’s daddy Marilyn Manson has a new album out, so he’s hitting the stroll hard and giving a bunch of interviews. Thankfully for the part of your brain that creates visuals, Marilyn has stopped talking about how he needs to keep his panties during sex and has to bust an orgasm at least 5 times a day. But in an interview with Esquire, MM did talk about why Courtney Love was mad at him, and about the time Big Bird’s voice twin Billy Corgan did him a bro solid by warning him about Rose McGowan. I know, this shit is so 90s. Doesn’t it make you want to put on a black crushed velvet choker and a torn fishnet shirt.

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Marilyn Manson Keeps His Chonies On During Sex

I know you’ve been wondering what Marilyn Manson’s average fuck time sessions look like, and now you can stop wondering and start painting the picture with your mind.

Rolling Stone did a really interesting profile about Hot Topic’s oldest customer and I hope Lifetime turns it into a movie. Paul from The Wonder Years can play Marilyn Manson. (“So you mean, Marilyn Manson can play himself” said every trick who will forever believe that Paul from The Wonder Years and MM are the same person. I used to be you and a part of me still is.) Marilyn talks about his phobias and how his phobias get in the way of him having all-naked fuck times with the lights on. Marilyn’s mom had Munchausen by Proxy syndrome and he was in the hospital a lot for “allergies,” so all his weird phobias might have come from his childhood.

He can’t really take a shower with a piece he’s dating and he doesn’t do baths at all. Marilyn’s maid probably has a severe case of arthritis in the hands from constantly scrubbing white Halloween makeup, sex smegma and who knows what else out of his bed linens, because he only sleeps on black sheets and he bones at least 5 times a day. I figured Marilyn Manson came grey dust because he’s that goth. But now I know he cums dust and air because his gonads can’t produce jizz fast enough. Marilyn, who is currently doing photographer Lindsay Usich (If you read that as “Lars Ulrich” go with it. It’s good for your visuals), has to screw in the dark  and he’s always prepared for a fire:

First, no lights shall be on. “I’m just really shy, despite what you’d imagine,” he says. Second, no underwear shall be slipped farther down than his ankles. “I have a phobia that the house is going to catch fire, and I don’t want to be naked,” he says.

Basically, Marilyn Manson screws like a teenager who’s afraid his parents are going to come home at any minute.

So Marilyn Manson has to keep his panties on when doing sex. Big deal. He always acts like he’s the King of the Weirdos. He’s not. For his information, every human being I’ve ever done it with insists on keeping their underwear on too. It’s not that uncommon. Yes, they insist on keeping it over their face so they can’t see me, but still. That counts.

Marilyn Manson’s Face Was At The Spring Breakers Premiere

I hope you have a Baby Wipe or wet nap near you, because Marilyn Manson definitely left a lip stick (shade: pre-period surprise) stain on your monitor. Wearing less paint on his face than your average Kardashian, Marilyn Manson pulled himself out of his Hot Topic-brand bedroom coffin to pose at the Hollywood premiere of Spring Breakers last night. Because of that white flour on his face and that dark red lipstick, Marilyn looks like an uncooked, deconstructed black cherry pie that dried out from sitting on the counter so long.

Marilyn brought his latest piece Lindsay Usich who sort of looks like a Taylor Armstrong wax figure that was put together using parts from a Lana Del Rey wax figure and a Molly Ringwald wax figure. Obviously, Marilyn and his piece were the hottest couple there even though Ashley Benson and James Franco tried to claim that title with their STUNT QUEEN whispering on the red carpet. I don’t know if Selena Gomez is smirking, because she can’t with that public display or stuntin’ or because she remembered that she once dated Justin Bieber.

Here’s a few more pictures from last night’s premiere of the movie version of a cum-stained Body Glove tank top. In order: MM with his piece, the cast, James Franco, Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens with the ATL Twins and Ashley Benson.

Even An Antichrist Superstar Gets The Flu

Warning: If you don’t want to have a seizure and if you care about your ear holes, don’t put your mouse tip over the play button. Now that we’ve gotten that warning out of the way, at around the 1:13 mark, Marilyn Manson stops singing “Beautiful People,” drops and barfs out whatever was in his stomach bag (homemade absinthe, Lucifer’s jizz and maple syrup-flavored coke… well, he was in Canada) before trying to go on with the song. Some of Marilyn’s fans who were standing in the back couldn’t see what was happening on stage and the sound of him yacking sounded better than his usual singing voice, so they knew something was up. The band kept playing before they realized that it wasn’t part of the act. EMTs came on stage and took the sick antichrist off the stage.

Marilyn later told TMZ that when he got to Saskatoon yesterday, he had the sicks in a bad way, but didn’t want to cancel the show. When he got on stage, it hit him harder and that’s when the barfs came. Marilyn skipped the hospital and went to his hotel room to rest instead. His Canadian tour will go on and he plays Calgary tomorrow.

The flu really isn’t here to mess around. Marilyn Manson gives a human sacrifice (or an Emily the Strange doll from Hot Topic, he’s not picky about his sacrifices) to his creator the devil every week and the flu still screws with him.

Pass Me The Holy Water Eye Drops

I haven’t stepped inside of a church for centuries, because they only have one kind of wine and all the magazines in the pew racks are boring. But lord, after seeing these pictures of Marilyn Manson and Taylor Momsen at the Revolver Golden God Awards, I just want to throw an abuelita-approved praying veil over my face and head to the nearest altar to pray to Guadalupe, Concepion, Mercedes, Charo, LaDonna, La Whisper, Ruby and all the other saints. This mess looks like a mock satanic ritual held in some goth teen girl’s garage. The only thing it’s missing is a father turning on all the lights and telling Taylor that it’s dinnertime and her bloated, grown lesbian friend needs to go home.

Who knew that the way to make Marilyn Manson’s crotch more terrifying is to put Taylor Momsen’s Top Ramen ass weave in front of it? Then, when things couldn’t get even worse, Johnny Depp (click here to see his ass perform) came out to play with MM. Once I finish barfing from all my holes over Marilyn slobbering on Taylor like she’s pie, I’m going to barf some more over the fact that for a quick second I mistook Johnny Depp for Adam Ant.

Two Of These Ghouls Might Be Doing It

And I wish I was about to tell you that Barry Manilow’s got Marilyn Manson’s zombie cream smeared all over his lips, but no. Before Marilyn Manson and Lana Del Rey, made everyone ask themselves “But where’s the fourth horseman?” by posing for this picture with Barry Manilow at the Echo Awards in Germany yesterday, the two got close at a charity event in Berlin. An ONTDer posted the pictures and proclaimed, “NEW COUPLE ALERT!” Marilyn and Lana Del Taco apparently left the event together and snuck into the same hotel. Marilyn sure does have a type and that type is any trick who is stoned enough to lick on his wrinkled powdered donut hole without vomming up her dignity.

Whores throw a lot of shit bombs at Lana Delrrhea, but I don’t hate her and that’s probably because she’s like Chicken Cutlets if Chicken Cutlets sedated herself down to play Jennifer North in a public access remake of Valley of the Dolls. But the only thing creepier than Blahna Del Nay humping on Marilyn Manson (who is transforming into an extra bloated Nicolas Cage as Skrillex) in a hotel room is if Barry Manilow was in the corner finger banging his innie while humming the melody to “Please Don’t Be Scared.”