All together now: WHERE ART THOU FUCKING CRYSTAL?
29 years ago today, Roseanne debuted on ABC, and… wait, hold up for a second. I have to buzz my nurse to bring me a fresh big boy nappy along with my lunch of blended peas porridge. I made a poopy in the diaper she put on me this morning. And yes, I’m writing this from a nursing home since I’m old. I’m “I remember watching Roseanne’s pilot episode” old.
This is good news, because John Goodman playing the wise-cracking ghost of sexy everyman dad, Dan Conner, would have been a disaster on par with that final season lottery dream mess.
Roseanne’s infamous (as in infamously terrible) final season ended with the revelation that husband Dan actually hadn’t survived his heart attack. The show is coming back to ABC for an eight-episode stint, and TV Line reports that they’re going to make like none of that ever happened. Continue reading
Since pretty much every show has been brought back from the dead (see: Will & Grace, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, Full House, Dynasty and One Day At A Time), I wake up every morning hoping that it’ll be the day that Hollywood finally makes the dreams of everyone come true by ordering a revival of It’s A Living! That didn’t happen today, but one of my other favorite shows (if I forget about everything that happened post-lottery win) is getting a revival.
Before we fully get into the river of depressing smegma that this news week will probably bring, let’s raise a wig and celebrate some happy news: RuPaul finally got his hands around his first Emmy after being in the TV game for eons. HalleluRu!
If award shows always got it right, Ru would’ve gotten his first Emmy in the 90s for Best And Most Glamorous Talk Show host for Vh1’s The RuPaul Show. But since award shows mostly never get it right, that didn’t happen. It only took 20 years, but the title “Emmy-winning RuPaul” is finally a fact.