Now It’s “Roseanne’s” Turn To Get Revived

April 28, 2017 / Posted by:

Since pretty much every show has been brought back from the dead (see: Will & Grace, Gilmore Girls, Arrested Development, Full House, Dynasty and One Day At A Time), I wake up every morning hoping that it’ll be the day that Hollywood finally makes the dreams of everyone come true by ordering a revival of It’s A Living! That didn’t happen today, but one of my other favorite shows (if I forget about everything that happened post-lottery win) is getting a revival.

Roseanne Barr will take a break from going off on Twitter to executive produce and star in a revival of Roseanne, which ran from 1988 to 1997. Deadline says that the Roseanne revival will be an eight-episode limited run and it’s being shopped around to several networks including its original home ABC and Netflix. John Goodman and Sara Gilbert have signed on and Laurie Metcalf is expected to join them as fashion icon Aunt Jackie. They’re also trying to get the other original cast members to sign on. Sara Gilbert will be an executive producer too, along with Whitney Cummings, Bruce Helford and Tom Werner.

Sara Gilbert and John Goodman did a mini mini-Roseanne reunion on The Talk last month. And Wikipedia says that in 2009, Roseanne posted her ideas for a Roseanne reunion show on her website:

dj gets published
mark dies in iraq
david leaves darlene for a woman half his age
darlene meets a woman and they have a test tube baby
becky works at walmart
roseanne and jackie open the first medical marijuana dispensary in lanford illinois, and pay off the mortgage before the house is foreclosed on.
arnie becomes the best friend of the governor of Illinois
mom sells a painting for ten grand
nancy and arnie remarry
jerry and the grandsons form a band like the jonas brothers
dan shows up alive after faking his death.
leon has a sex change op.
bonnie gets busted for selling crack.

Glenn Quinn (who played Mark) died in 2002.

The only way for them to explain the shitty last two seasons of Roseanne is for us to learn that Roseanne did peyote with Jackie, Bonnie, Nancy and Crystal during a girls trip in the desert and she hallucinated everything that happened after season 7. Seasons 8 and 9 did seem like a really bad trip that we all wish we could forgot, so that explanation would make complete sense. As for which Becky should be in the revival, why not both? There’s an easy explanation for that too. Becky #1 hated her family so she hired some random chick to pretend to be her and her family never noticed because they never really paid attention to her in the first place.

I also hope that Roseanne Barr and the other producers are in deep negotiations with the chicken shirt’s agent because they can’t do a revival without it:


And here’s Laurie Metcalf wearing something that Aunt Jackie would totally wear in 2017 while posing at the opening of her play A Doll’s House, Part Two on Broadway last night.

Pics:, ABC

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