Category: Jill Biden
Queen Camilla’s New Title Has Made Its Debut On King Charles’ Coronation Invite
May 6th is an extremely important day, and I don’t have to tell you why. But I will. It’s National Crepe Suzette Day! I’m sure you’ve already got that important holiday written in Sharpie on your calendar and already counting down the days. But a much less exciting celebration is also happening on May 6th. The coronation of King Charles III is going down that day. Since it’s about a month away, Buckingham Palace has released a new picture of King Chuck and the side piece formerly known as Duchess Camilla and, more recently, Queen Consort Camilla. The palace also put out the official invitation for King Charles’ coronation, and Queen Camilla’s new title made its debut on it.
After THE QUEEN’s death last year, Prince Charles became King Charles III, and Duchess Camilla became Queen Consort Camilla. But that title was just a placeholder, I guess. Because back in February, Ben wrote about how the palace decided to do away with the “Consort” shit and simplify her title to Queen Camilla. Now, I’m sure that Camilla has been scribbling “Queen Camilla” with crown-hungry eyes in her diary for decades, but that title has now been officially used by the palace. It’s a big day for tampons AND side pieces everywhere!
First Dog Champ Biden Has Died At 13
If you’ve got a dog friend in your life, there’s always a good reason to shower them with loves and pets, but there’s a really good reason to do that today, and as you do that, I’m sure they’ll look at you like, “This is sweet and everything but you should use those hands to get me another treat. It’s been 15 seconds since the last one. I’m starving!” Because sadly, the White House is a lot less adorable and sweet today. President Joe Biden and First Lady, Dr. Jill Biden’s, beloved dog, Champ Biden, has died at the age of 13.
Open Post: Hosted By Prince Hot Ginge In DC
“Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you the reason why your coochies or b-holes or both are on fire right now!” – Jill Biden in that picture, obviously.
If you’re in the DC area right now and wondering why your down low parts are panting like a dog in the desert and why it feels like four thousand rays of piping hot heat are hitting you, it’s because Prince Hot Ginge is there. Walk by the Washington Monument and you’ll see that it looks more erect than usual. PHG is in DC for a quickie. He’s just sticking the tip in real quick. He flew into DC from England last night and he’s leaving tonight. PHG is in DC to promote the Paralympic-style Invictus Games, which is happening in Orlando, FL next year.
PHG first met up with Michelle Obama and Jill Biden for Slippery Nipple shots at a T.G.I. Friday’s in Foggy Bottom. (No, that’s not my nickname, it’s a neighborhood in DC. And yes, I made that shit up about them going to T.G.I. Friday’s. They went to Chili’s.) After that, Jill Biden and Michelle Obama gave PHG a tour of the USO Warrior and Family Center at Fort Belvoir in Virginia. While there, PHG met with wounded veterans, watched a basketball game and spoke. Here’s a compilation of important scenes from PHG’s visit:
When “Get Ready For This” played, I expected PHG to whip off his blazer and give someone a lap dance. He must’ve been all the way sober by then. PHG also met with President Obama in the Oval Office and Obama let him know that the White House will be painted a bright shade of ginger in his honor.
Pics: Getty
Jill Biden Finally Gets Into The Big Issues That Really Matter
Jill Biden spoke to my soul (and the thing that rhymes with soul, sorry) today when she unintentionally (yeah, right) made a joke about how Joe Biden’s peen is so large it’s got its own set of porcelain veneers. “You can hear the urgency in his voice when he comes….” should go on every Obama/Biden bumper sticker, t-shirt, thong, etc!
via Buzzfeed