Justin Bieber, mustache connoisseur and underwear model who occasionally sings, has been on quite the journey these last few months. And the highs and lows keep coming. I know I know, each Justin and Hailey Bieber story should be immediately followed by a mandatory Silkwood shower (that’s a reference for older gays), flea dip and eyeball realignment procedure. But if you’re still following Justin’s life with anything other than morbid curiosity, this story might be of interest.
If you can remember a few months back, Justin and Hailey pissed off PETA by dropping $35,000 on two exotic cats, Sushi and Tuna. Well, about a month ago, the happily married couple was devastated (OMG! You guys, devastated!) to learn that Sushi (the $20,000 one), had disappeared. Honestly, if I had to live in the Bieber compound and watch the two of those messy saddos continually sucking face, I’d take my chances in the wild, too.
Given Justin’s stellar history of pet-ownership, he probably did the absolute bare minimum, like getting his hairstylist (who hasn’t had a particularly busy 2020) to put up a couple of missing posters around Beverly Hills before writing off the cat (which, again, cost $20,000!!!!) as sashimi for the canyon coyotes.
Well, all is right with the world again.
E! News is reporting that on Friday morning, Sushi was found safe, wandering around the backyard of none other than living lush legend, Sandra Lee, who shared a photo of the kitty and a caption in which she now declares herself Sushi’s Aunt Sandy.
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Guess what walked into my back yard last night? My best friend and I Had no idea what it was or who’s it was. The cat almost darted away, then all of a sudden It was all over us, so very thin, very emaciated but so sweet. And it was so beautiful … I was thinking…..That is not an ordinary cat. THE CAT LOOKS LIKE A BABY LYNX! He was starving, cold, scared, exhausted and stuck with porcupine quills —-but he was happy and excited all at the same time. Three (3) cans of tuna and a bowl of warm milk later the painful Quills have been removed and we are cuddling on the couch- drowsy and milk drunk the purring baby was calmed so we took the collar off and called the number. I Thought the young man on the other end of the phone was going to either burst out in shrieks of joy or burst out in tears —he was so happy, shocked and stunned.. …still I no idea who it was… I swaddled the cat in a blankey and sat on the couch petting him while it slept for the 40 Min it took to have the owner come to my house. Falling in love with this creature the whole time wishing it had no collar so I could adopt him ….but in good Conscience I knowing first hand how it feels to be a pet parent panicked when their baby is compromised. And guess what…… It was THE SUSHI! Didn’t realized SUSHI THE CAT was a whole thing! Lost for 3 weeks ….all alone I can't even imagine what Sushi's three weeks of hell running up and down Beverly Hills mountains were like —There are so many wild animals in the canyon and I cannot believe he survived. So now I am Aunt Sandy to Bieber Baby Lynx of a cat! Lesson to all… it you see some thing say some thing and if you see something do something! #justinbieber #haileybieber
After giving Sushi some affection (probably more than he ever got at Le Maison Bieber once the cameras were off), Sandra called the phone number on the kitty’s collar and eventually got Justin on the line.
“I thought the young man on the other end of the phone was going to either burst out in shrieks of joy or burst out in tears—he was so happy, shocked and stunned,” Sandra shared. “Still I no idea who it was… I swaddled the cat in a blankey and sat on the couch petting him while it slept for the 40 Min it took to have the owner come to my house.”
Once the two were reunited, Sushi was back home…where he immediately began planning his next escape, while definitely missing Sandra Lee. Speaking of, Justin Bieber should be arrested for referring to Sandra Lee as “somebody.”
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Almost a month ago, my pal sushi decided to run away, after weeks passing by Hailey and began to lose hope that our baby was gone 🙁 yesterday we got a call that somebody found our baby.. it had made it Miles and miles away! He looks extremely skinny and has a very sad miow, he is home now safe and sound! Thank you god for protecting him!
But that’s not the only news from Planet Justin:
Despite his latest album going to #1 (at lower than projected numbers), Billboard is reporting that Justin is struggling to sell tickets on his 45-date Changes stadium tour––soon to be renamed, the Refund tour.
As a result, he’s having to downgrade (which would also be a better tour name) by moving some of his stadium shows to much smaller arenas in order to avoid playing his mind-numbing back catalog of pre-pubescent pop, and that Yummy song, to half-empty venues. Some sources are claiming that the shift to smaller capacity seating is because of the Coronavirus and definitely NOT because of sluggish sales, or the fact that people remember the travesty that was the Purpose tour in 2017.
So far, eight arenas have posted similar notices on their Twitter pages, letting fans know about the “Changes” (HA!)
Due to unforeseen circumstances, the @justinbieber concert at AT&T Stadium on June 27 is being relocated to America Airlines Center on Sunday, June 28.
— American Airlines Center 🎟 (@AACenter) March 6, 2020
A slew of summer dates are currently being moved around, while stadiums in other cities are holding steady in the hopes that more fans will show up to buy tickets.
Who knows? Based on these unforeseen circumstances, Justin may soon have more time to spend at home with Sushi. And Hailey, if she’s around.