Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber Showing Off His Buzzcut After Getting Rid Of His Locs

May 24, 2021 / Posted by:

Justin Bieber managed to keep the crusty critters on his head alive longer than he kept his Savannah cats Tuna and Sushi out of harm’s way, but alas, even his struggle locs finally had to be re-homed. Justin has shaved his head and no longer looks like a troll doll that got kicked under the couch in 1991 and stayed under there collecting dust and mites for 30 years. I mean at least from the neck up. He might still have a weird pot belly and no knees for all I know, but I’m not checking.

It’s been exactly one month since Justin debuted his vacation locs to near universal disdain. While Jaden Smith commented positively (I think?), calling them “swags crazy,” many others accused Justin of cultural appropriation, which I think is unfair. Like it or not, at this point, White Boy Dreadlocks are their own thing which bears no resemblance to actual locs. I say, let them have their little clumps of dryer lint. But Justin’s moved on. His hair no longer resembles something that got snaked out of the drains at Chateau Marmutt and he posted his newly buzzed head on Instagram.

Justin hasn’t spoken publicly about why he chose to ditch the WBDs. It could be because he’s finally listening to his critics or it could have been in answer to an ultimatum from his wife Hailey Bieber who was tired of sleeping on pillowcases that had become translucent from grease. Or, perhaps, nature simply did its thing and they just fell off like the legs of a tarantula in molt. At any rate, the maid can stop looking for the source of that mildewy gym towel smell. It was Justin all along! But please, I beg of you, please keep looking for Tuna and Sushi! We haven’t seen hide nor hair of them since March of 2020!

Pic: Instagram

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