Category: Everything Is Fine
JLo And A-Rod Are Now Denying The Breakup Rumors
Yesterday, Jennifer Lopez, 51, and Alex Rodriguez, 45, took a rusty machete to hopeful hearts all over the world when their breakup was announced after a two-year engagement and a total of four years together. We were all left to pick up our scattered ventricle bits and try to figure out just what (or whom) A-Rod’s jet-setting, FaceTime-cruising sportsball peen had done to cross the line for good this time. But we can all breathe more easily now because JLo and A-Rod are denying the final, deathblow crumble of their mighty empire of influence as well as business.
Wendy Williams Is Dating A Doctor Now
Wendy Williams continues to be unnecessarily candid about her love life. Well, she’s actually being coy candid which is much, much more annoying. Wendy’s back on the air after a little break and took some time to update her audience on her relationship with Marc Tomblin, her young gentleman friend with a criminal record and a twinkle in his eye. According to Page Six, Wendy’s moved on from Marc and is now dating a “brown-black” doctor in his mid-50s. She also noted that she spent some time in Arizona and Idaho “gathering her thoughts”. Who has the time or energy to try and piece together a coherent narrative out Wendy’s trail of breadcrumbs? You can’t reverse engineer a sandwich out of breadcrumbs, Wendy! But I will try.
Johnny Depp Is In Fine Health And Having A Very Fine Time Indeed
Despite walking around looking like a festively scarfed cadaver, Johnny Depp is doing just fine. A source tells Us Weekly that he’s lost weight on purpose. He’s on the Johnny D diet (it’s the one where you replace all calories with cigarettes) to stay in fighting shape for his band Hollywood Vampires’ rigorous touring schedule. So yes, he is thinner but he’s perfectly healthy, thanks for asking.
Jet Li Is Doing Just Fine Despite Rumors Of His Declining Health
Everybody can calm their tits, Jet Li is FINE. Despite being photographed recently looking like the ghost of his former self, Jet Li’s manager says the 55-year-old Wushu master was basically just having a bad hair day. Jet was photographed at a temple looking like a straight up pepaw and the image was posted to Twitter, causing a lot of folks to start planning their Jet Li memorial gardens.