Category: Elizabeth Berkley
Open Post: Hosted By The Trailer For The “Saved By The Bell” Revival
NBC The Peacock has released another trailer for their upcoming Saved by the Bell reboot, which follows a new generation of teens at Bayside High. The first teaser dropped back in April and gave us a lot of Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez as adults with teenaged kids. This trailer focuses more on the kids and fast Tracey Wigfield-style jokes. Tracey, the reboot’s creator/writer, worked on 30 Rock, The Mindy Project, and was the showrunner for the cancelled-too-soon Great News.
The trailer features zero signs of that Lil’ Blonde Bitch Zack Morris, who apparently went on to become the goddamn Governor of California (Arnie’s all, “What, like it’s hard?”). But don’t worry, IMDb says Mark-Paul Gosselaar appears in only three of the ten episodes. Phew! Continue reading
Lark Voorhies Is Sad She Wasn’t Asked Back For The “Saved By The Bell” Reboot
As I’m sure you’ve heard, NBC is rebooting Saved by the Bell for two very important reasons: 1. It’s 2020 so you have to revive anything that flickered onto our TV screens for even one goddamn second (still unironically waiting on that Just Shoot Me reboot, by the way), and, 2. Monies. Last we heard, the King of Smug Blonde Privilege himself, Zack Morris (aka Mark-Paul Gosselaar), had signed on to star, along with Jessie “Elizabeth Berkley” Spano, and A.C. “Mario Lopez” Slater. But what about Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Dustin Diamond, and Lark Voorhies? Well, no official word from Tiffani or Dustin (but, like, Dustin Diamond ain’t getting asked, let’s be real), but our beloved Lisa Turtle confirmed she wasn’t offered to be a part of it. Lark Voorhies discussed her sadness over the snub on Dr. Oz, while giving us business woman Marilyn Monroe.
Zack Morris Is Returning To Bayside For The “Saved By The Bell” Revival
NBCUniversal better set aside some extra cash in the budget for hair-grade peroxide cream, acid-wash denim, and a machine that freezes time (that’s how they did that, right?). Because The Hollywood Reporter says that Zack Morris will be a character on NBCUniversal’s revival of Saved by the Bell. And of course he’ll be played by Mark-Paul Gosselaar.
NBCUniversal Is Working On A “Saved By The Bell” Sequel Starring Jessie Spano And A.C. Slater
A few years ago, Elizabeth Berkley and Mario Lopez slipped into their tightest buns-hugging jeans and reunited as Jessie Spano and A.C. Slater for a bit on Jimmy Fallon’s TV show. And that was about as close as we all were going to get to an official Saved by the Bell sequel, reboot, or revival. Until now, that is. I hope they didn’t donate those buns-huggers, because NBCUniversal are bringing Mama and Macho Pig back for a Saved by the Bell sequel.
Well, That Explains Showgirls
Before Nomi Malone brought us elegance, dignity and LBDs from Ver-sayce, Jessie Spano brought us hair sponsored by Aussie Sprunch Spray, the dangers of caffeine pills and everything that was wrong with fashion in the early 90’s. Elizabeth Berkley shat on her Saved by the Bell wardrobe on Bethany Frankel’s show (via US Weekly) because it made her feel like a dumpy butt plain Jane.
“I didn’t like it because I felt like as a young woman, just because you are a feminist, why can’t you also dress in things that make you feel girly and empowered,” Berkley told Frankel.
The talk show host agreed, noting, “And Tiffani [Thiessen] used to always get to wear all kinds of . . .”
“Right the bikinis,” Berkley interjected about her costar who played head cheerleader Kelly Kapowski. “They used to put me in a one piece. I’m sorry, but at 16 you don’t want to be the girl in the one piece with baggy shorts.”
After some extensive research (four Google searches), I have to agree with her on the clothes thing. Even AC Slater had sexier outfits than Jessie; he at least got to show some thigh. The 90’s were the fucking worst for clothes when you had to be modest. All I wanted were some Jordache jeans that required a wrench to pull the zipper all the way up or one of those Wet Seal outfits with the shorty shorts with the ruffle at the bottom that matched the pattern of the shirt, but my mom went to the Jessie Spano School of How To Dress Like A Neo Maxi Zoom Dweebie, thus solidifying my place at the bottom of the social ladder in junior high.
“Nobody puts a one piece on Jessie Spano” is the new “nobody puts baby in the corner” because Elizabeth clearly balled up all that resentment from being second best and used it to bring us one of the best cinematic examples of feminism of all time (if you use a really generous sliding scale, squint your eyes, watch it on mute and use the Miley Cyrus definition of the word): Showgirls! Nothing makes a lady feel more empowered and girlie than throwing on a pretty dress or a strappy, titty-baring dominatrix outfit and pulling off a well-choreographed dance number.
Jessie Spano Paid Homage To Her “I’m So Excited” Freakout On DWTS
On the sequins-covered 35 car pile-up that is Dancing with the Has-Beens last night, contestants did a dance inspired by a memorable year in their life. Obviously we know that the MOST memorable time in Elizabeth Berkley’s life was the time she made cinema’s answer to the Bible, SHOWGIRLS, but she’s still in denial and hopefully a therapist will help her see the light soon. So she said that next to having her son, doing Saved By The Bell was the most memorable time in her life, so she paid tribute to that time by recreating the legendary caffeine pill meltdown.
YAASS! You know, Jessie Spano and the humanized Ukrainian Chick-O-Stick Val Chmerkovskiy really brought something new to “I’m So Excited” and made me realize what the original scene was missing. The “I’m So Excited” scene from Saved By The Bell would’ve won several honorary Emmys if Zack Morris did the entire scene without a shirt on…like Val did!
Since Elizabeth Berkley is paying tribute to important moments in her career. I fully expect her to recreate the flopping dolphin scene from Showgirls. I will never be able to look her in the face again if she doesn’t.
And here’s my second favorite dance of the night. Leah Remini said that this past year has been the most memorable year in her life, because she’s made a big change by deciding that she’s not going to be told what to do anymore. (Translation: Bitch quit Scientology.) Leah played a puppet who breaks free from her puppeteer.
What a mess. I love it. But I would’ve loved it more if Tony Dovolani wore an alien mask. And John Travolta doesn’t know whether to hiss at this or kiss it all over. On one hand, Leah is calling out Scientology. On the other hand, John Travolta can’t say no to an on-stage costume change and jazz hands. So conflicted!