As I’m sure you’ve heard, NBC is rebooting Saved by the Bell for two very important reasons: 1. It’s 2020 so you have to revive anything that flickered onto our TV screens for even one goddamn second (still unironically waiting on that Just Shoot Me reboot, by the way), and, 2. Monies. Last we heard, the King of Smug Blonde Privilege himself, Zack Morris (aka Mark-Paul Gosselaar), had signed on to star, along with Jessie “Elizabeth Berkley” Spano, and A.C. “Mario Lopez” Slater. But what about Tiffani Amber Thiessen, Dustin Diamond, and Lark Voorhies? Well, no official word from Tiffani or Dustin (but, like, Dustin Diamond ain’t getting asked, let’s be real), but our beloved Lisa Turtle confirmed she wasn’t offered to be a part of it. Lark Voorhies discussed her sadness over the snub on Dr. Oz, while giving us business woman Marilyn Monroe.
Lark was on Dr. Oz to discuss her struggles with mental illness, specifically bipolar disorder. Her issues have been well documented the last several years, and she admits they probably factored into her exclusion from the new show. She read the thoughts she wrote about this in her journal:
"I have to admit I did feel a bit slighted and hurt."
"Saved by the Bell" star Lark Voorhies joins me Wednesday to discuss her mental health, as well as her feelings about not being included in an upcoming reboot of the show. pic.twitter.com/mLYQ4aRpoF
— Dr. Mehmet Oz (@DrOz) February 18, 2020
At first I was like, “Don’t worry, Lisa Turtle, this reboot will suck harder than Fuller House, a show so shitty I can’t even wash the dishes to it”, but then I saw it’s being written/produced by Tracey Wigfield, who worked on 30 Rock and Great News. So it might actually be good.
Here’s the premise, according to Deadline: Zack Morris, now the Governor of California (HOW?!), closes a bunch of low-income schools, and all the displaced kids are sent to super-privileged Bayside High. Zack’s son, “Mac”, is a charming little Zack 2.0, and Jessie Spano’s son, “Jamie”, a “sensitive man-child”, is captain of the football team. Aaand, I’m already shipping Mac and Jamie’s closeted teenaged love affair. The more tortured the better! MAKE IT HAPPEN, NBC. AND BRING BACK LISA TURTLE TOO!