Category: Eddie Cibrian
LeAnn Rimes Really Overdid It With An Instagram Anniversary Message To Eddie Cibrian
It feels like just yesterday that Tori and Dean’s kindred spirits were getting married after hooking up on the set of a Lifetime movie and cheating on their respective spouses. But here we are, six years later and LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian are still together.
Eddie Cibrian Calls Brandi Glanville A Liar, Brandi Glanville Bashes His Ass Before Calling A Truce
On Tuesday, I linked to a Reality Tea piece about how Brandi Glanville continued to slap at her ex-husband Eddie Cibrian and his luck dragon bride LeAnn Rimes during an interview on a podcast. Brandi said that it hurts her in the heart area when LeAnn posts pictures of her sons on Instagram. Brandi claimed that she’s begged LeAnn to stop posting the pictures but Falkor doesn’t care and has kept on, kept on.. Here’s a piece of what came out of Brandi’s mouth:
“I have an issue with her posting pictures of my children on holidays. It’s horrible. If my ex-husband, their dad, isn’t posting pictures – why is she? I’ll grab three bottles of chardonnay, cry myself to sleep and look at what they’re doing for Christmas. It’s hell.”
Like Brandi wasn’t planning on downing three bottles of chardonnay that night anyway. Eddie Cibrian usually keeps his lips shut about these things and lets his sugar mama luck dragon do the barking for him, but not this time.
LeAnn Rimes And Eddie Cibrian Are Allegedly Broke And Owe Their Friends $350,000
I’d make a joke about Brandi Glanville laughing manically as she repeatedly pokes a pin in the wallet area of her Eddie Cibrian voodood doll, but that unemployed troublemaker is in no position to be laughing at anyone’s financial situation. But back to Eddie and his Spitting Image puppet-looking wife LeAnn Rimes. Eddie and LeAnn are allegedly so broke that they have been forced to beg their friends for money. Except it’s not like a “Can I borrow $20?” kind of thing, it’s more like a “Can you loan me a couple hundred thousand dollars” friendship-killing kind of thing.
Dean Sheremet Thinks The Dumbest Thing LeAnn Rimes Did For Her Career Was Leaving Him For Eddie Cibrian
LeAnn Rimes first husband Dean Sheremet is back for some reason, and he’s got lots of things to say about his luck dragon-looking ex-wife and her life choices. I just imagined Dean screaming “LOOK AT YOUR CHOICES!” and LeAnn responding “I can’t, my eyes are too squinty” and yeah, it made me laugh out loud. Thanks, hardcore prescription antihistamines.
Even though a coroner called the official time of death on Dean and LeAnn’s marriage back in 2009, Dean is still talking about his relationship with the unofficial cultural attaché to fold-up soccer chairs, and this time it was with Nat’s Next Adventure (via E!). I guess Dean moonlights as an amateur phone psychic, because he seems to think that LeAnn would still be an A-list country singer and not a failed reality star if she hadn’t left him for Eddie Cibrian:
“The dumbest thing she ever did for her career was divorce me, because we were such a good team. The last hit song she had was when she was with me.”
He then added that he’s still surprised LeAnn was able to successfully cheat on his ass, because they pretty much shared a cellphone:
“There were things she couldn’t do without me. She had her own phone but never used it. People would call me to get to her. Everything went through me.”
He also threw a little not-so-subtle shade at the Lifetime masterpiece where LeAnn and Eddie’s skanky home-wrecking love first blossomed, Northern Lights:
“It’s funny, I don’t remember seeing that on my SAG screeners that year. The funny thing is I’m the one who pushed her to do that movie.”
Dean Sheremet receives SAG screeners? Sure, Jan. Dean also has thoughts about LeAnn trying to be famous and how she’s “gone away from what she was put on this earth to do”. Um, I’m sorry Dean, but I’m pretty sure if you asked God, he’d say he put LeAnn Rimes on this earth to get into messy Twitter fights with Brandi Glanville.
File Under “Opposite Of Shocking”: LeAnn Rimes And Eddie Cibrian’s Reality Show Got Cancelled
Cue the sound of Brandi Glanville joyfully cackling at the top of her lungs. “You may be younger and prettier, bitch, but at least I’m still on television!” According to People, the reason Brandi is breaking all the fillers in her face in an attempt to smile is because VH1 has cancelled LeAnn Rimes and Eddie Cibrian’s reality show, LeAnn & Eddie after one season and eight episodes. Oh no! Now how will LeAnn convince us Eddie is still totally in love with her and definitely not eye-fucking the exit?
People says VH1 had no comment on the cancellation, but I bet it had something to do with LeAnn & Eddie being boring as hell. I only watched one episode, and I went in to it assuming it was going to be filled with squint-eyed dragon drama and smug-faced douche theatrics, and it was not. LeAnn & Eddie was supposed to be eight episodes of LeAnn accusing Eddie of cheating on her with some random chick he met at an audition for a Verizon commercial and Eddie accusing LeAnn of being a drunk mess in front of his kids. Instead we got coma-inducing scenes of LeAnn rearranging the furniture in her living room. Even her dogs seemed to be looking at the camera like “Wait, you’re filming this? Why?”
Besides, there’s only enough room on television for one scripted reality show about a skinny blonde attention whore with Tupperware titties and her unemployed beady-eyed bangaholic husband, and that’s True Tori.
Here’s LeAnn strolling through LAX yesterday wearing a pair of fancy-looking pajama bottoms aka what I’d consider my “good” grocery shopping pants:
Pics: Wenn.com
The Delusions Of A Luck Dragon: LeAnn Rimes Thinks She And Eddie Cibrian Are A Gay Man’s Wet Dream
According to Webster’s, the definition of “wet dream” is:
an erotic dream culminating in orgasm and in the male accompanied by ejaculation of semen
LeAnn Rimes thinks she and Eddie Cibrian are the pure definition of a gay man’s wet dream and she’d be one hundred percent correct if the definition of “wet dream” was:
a terrifying nightmare culminating in the heaves and in humans accompanied by ejaculation of barf
During an interview with PrideSource, the silicone rod of delusion in a thong practically said that she’s a gay icon and every gay dude wants to fuck her husband hard until his dick looks like her: raw, shriveled, worn out and in need of some nourishment. The delusion is as thick as the silicone hardening in Falkor’s titty sacks.
We also share a mutual respect for your husband, Eddie Cibrian.
(Laughs) Yes. I’ve always said that Eddie and I are a gay man’s wet dream. I sing, you can look at him, and it’s perfect.
Does he tag along with you when you’re doing your gay gigs?
He came to that show (Gay Days) and was like, “I am not walking out on stage.” Of course I got him out on stage and it was so funny.
He gets embarrassed?
He does! It’s funny. He’s very low key. I embarrass him often!
Has he ever come to a gay club with you?
Oh yeah, many times. It’s fun for me to watch! (Laughs)
Fun to watch him get hit on by guys?
I don’t think that’s ever happened, but I’ve definitely watched him get looked up and down in every way, shape or form … so yeah, basically hit on. It’s hysterical seeing these guys freak out over him. For me, I laugh so hard, because Eddie is really pretty cool about it all, but sometimes he can be shy and uncomfortable, and I love to see him in that element. It’s completely not his element, but he knows how to work it.
LeAnn might be half right. Eddie’s a giant bag of assholes and used enema water, but he’s hot on the outside, so I’d hit it and other gay dudes would probably hit it. But throw in a desperate, yodeling luck dragon and that wet dream just became a wet (as in vomit) nightmare that’ll make your b-hole lips close for business and your genitals crawl up into your body until it’s safe to come out. Just the thought of LeAnn hollering out “How Do I Live?” while wearing a bikini is making me sweat out of fear. Which I guess is a wet daydream of sorts…
Here’s the gay icons of our time at The Abbey in West Hollywood the other night. Not pictured: The thousands of police officers holding back all the gay dudes who are trying to touch their DREAM IDOLS.
