The Delusions Of A Luck Dragon: LeAnn Rimes Thinks She And Eddie Cibrian Are A Gay Man’s Wet Dream
According to Webster’s, the definition of “wet dream” is:
an erotic dream culminating in orgasm and in the male accompanied by ejaculation of semen
LeAnn Rimes thinks she and Eddie Cibrian are the pure definition of a gay man’s wet dream and she’d be one hundred percent correct if the definition of “wet dream” was:
a terrifying nightmare culminating in the heaves and in humans accompanied by ejaculation of barf
During an interview with PrideSource, the silicone rod of delusion in a thong practically said that she’s a gay icon and every gay dude wants to fuck her husband hard until his dick looks like her: raw, shriveled, worn out and in need of some nourishment. The delusion is as thick as the silicone hardening in Falkor’s titty sacks.
We also share a mutual respect for your husband, Eddie Cibrian.
(Laughs) Yes. I’ve always said that Eddie and I are a gay man’s wet dream. I sing, you can look at him, and it’s perfect.
Does he tag along with you when you’re doing your gay gigs?
He came to that show (Gay Days) and was like, “I am not walking out on stage.” Of course I got him out on stage and it was so funny.
He gets embarrassed?
He does! It’s funny. He’s very low key. I embarrass him often!
Has he ever come to a gay club with you?
Oh yeah, many times. It’s fun for me to watch! (Laughs)
Fun to watch him get hit on by guys?
I don’t think that’s ever happened, but I’ve definitely watched him get looked up and down in every way, shape or form … so yeah, basically hit on. It’s hysterical seeing these guys freak out over him. For me, I laugh so hard, because Eddie is really pretty cool about it all, but sometimes he can be shy and uncomfortable, and I love to see him in that element. It’s completely not his element, but he knows how to work it.
LeAnn might be half right. Eddie’s a giant bag of assholes and used enema water, but he’s hot on the outside, so I’d hit it and other gay dudes would probably hit it. But throw in a desperate, yodeling luck dragon and that wet dream just became a wet (as in vomit) nightmare that’ll make your b-hole lips close for business and your genitals crawl up into your body until it’s safe to come out. Just the thought of LeAnn hollering out “How Do I Live?” while wearing a bikini is making me sweat out of fear. Which I guess is a wet daydream of sorts…
Here’s the gay icons of our time at The Abbey in West Hollywood the other night. Not pictured: The thousands of police officers holding back all the gay dudes who are trying to touch their DREAM IDOLS.
