Category: Crocodile Tears
YouTube Couple Myka And James Stauffer Brought The Tears As They Explained Why They Placed Their Adopted Autistic Son From China With A New Family
Yesterday, I kept seeing headlines about a “YouTube couple” and usually my brain automatically shuts down after seeing those words but then I saw the word “rehomed” and figured they gave up an animal after it chewed one of this lady’s Tory Burch suede flip-flops. But they didn’t give up an animal. They gave up a human child. A human child they adopted from China two and a half years ago and who was a part of their family and helped up their YouTube subscriber count and get them sponsors.
The YouTubers Myka and James Stauffer named the now four-year-old boy Huxley Stauffer and documented the adoption process, which brought them thousands of new subscribers and more money. But when their followers noticed that Huxley wasn’t in recent YouTube videos, Myka and James put on their shaky “THIS IS SO HARD” voices and slathered themselves in innocent angel white to bring the glycerine tears in a video explaining that they found Huxley a more suitable home because he’s Autistic and they just weren’t equipped to deal with his special needs. Every piece of shit in the land is throwing a look like, “And people call ME a piece of shit?!”
Bindi Irwin Got Married In Front Of Zero Guests
Ready to feel as ancient as one of those super old tortoises? Yesterday (Or today? Australian time is fucked) 21-year-old Bindi Irwin got married to her boyfriend of six years, 23-year-old Chandler Powell. Jesus. I still imagine Bindi as that cute little girl who freaked Oprah out with a Burmese python. And now she’s a woman? A wed woman? Time is happening, people!
Matt Lauer Is Fighting To Save His Marriage
It’s a terrible movie but I have a real soft spot for 1994’s It’s Pat! There’s one scene in which Pat is having a pity party and screams to their spouse Chris, “Feel sorrier for me!!!!”. I say that all the time and now disgraced perv Matt Lauer is joining in on the refrain. You see, his marriage to Dutch model Annette Roque is in trouble and “a source” (Matt with voice modulation thingy?) really wants you to know how sad that makes him.
According to People, Matt is “fighting to save his marriage” even though it’s been reported to be on the rocks since way before the allegations against him were revealed. But he needs the sympathy now in his hour of need, please and thank you.