Category: Calvin Harris
Calvin Harris Was In A Bad Car Accident
It’s dangerous out there! Even for celebrities. Well, especially for celebrities. Just like dryers love to gobble up socks, cars love to make celebrities get into car accidents. Just ask Lindsay Lohan. She will for sure tell you that it is always 100% the car’s fault and not the celebrity’s when a casual drive turns into a game of Twisted Metal. The latest victim of car villainy is Calvin Harris, Taylor Swift‘s boyfriend and notebook doodle obsession. It doesn’t matter that he’s a mega DJ and music person at this point, right?
TMZ is reporting that Calvin got into a pretty serious crash last night in LA. He was in the passenger seat of a Cadillac SUV when a VW Bug driven by a 16-year-old girl crashed into his car. Is it just me or is that the most Taylor Swift accident that could happen to a Taylor Swift boyfriend? A VW Bug. Teens bopping around recklessly. For all we know the driver wasn’t looking because she was busy squealing along to a Tay Tay song.
The accident was pretty bad and one of the passengers in the teen car was ejected from his seat. The driver and the ejectee were also taken to the hospital and the ejectee suffered a broken pelvis.
As for Calvin, he was rushed to the hospital in an ambulance after sustaining a serious laceration to his face. Once there, he asked for a private room, because you know he is too famous and his face is too well known to share a room with a regular. Calvin was told they didn’t have any available, so he hopped off the gurney and sashayed away against medical advice. Uh oh. Is there trouble in Sweet Valley High paradise? Why didn’t Taylor immediately get on the phone and buy him an entire hospital floor? This one seems to be sticking so I figured she’d do anything and everything. Unless something has happened between them? And full circle – I smell another song.
Pic: Wenn
RiRi Yodeling Over A Track At Coochella Is A Moment That Taylor Swift Will NEVER Forget
Seen above looking like she’s about to tag into an exhibition match during an indie wrestling show held in a bar basement in Bay City, Michigan, RiRi pulled a Kesha last night by making a surprise appearance in the middle of a DJ’s set at the annual Excuse To Roll Your Brains Out While Wearing Crystals From Michael’s On Your Face event.
Press Play On An iPod Ken (aka Calvin Harris) was one of the headliners at Coachella last night and during his set, RiRi popped up to sing along with a track of their song We Found Love. Calvin’s partner in Instagram cheesiness Taylor Swift was at Cokehella (copyright: the Dlisted reader who called it that last year) most of the weekend, but People says she pressed pause on the coochie cutters foolery on Saturday afternoon to take her private jet to San Antonio, Texas for her back-up singer’s wedding. Taylor flew back to California from Texas on the same day to catch Aileen Wuornos look-alike Axl Rose perform on a throne of guitar necks with Guns N’ Roses. And last night, Tay Tay and her squad were in the audience for her Easy Bake Oven sous-chef’s set.
Taylor Swift Still Hates Justin Bieber
While pop trick Katy Perry was off trying to be a country trick at the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, the ex-Princess Buttercup of Country (no offense to Princess Buttercup or country) Taylor Swift was off being a pop trick at the iHeartRadio Awards in Los Angeles.
I didn’t watch that shit last night, because I decided to watch some real entertainment (see: Dolly on the ACM Awards, the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion and Golden Girls reruns) instead, but apparently Try Hard Barbie and her boyfriend Try Hard Ken were the insufferable queen and king of the iFartRadio prom. Taylor won an award for Best Tour and when she accepted it, she pretty much pulled out a paper bag book cover, wrote the name “Adam Wiles” (cool DJ name: Calvin Harris) on it and then drew a pink Sharpie heart around it.
Taylor Swift And Calvin Harris Have Taken Their Love On Vacation
Shortly after Taylor Swift found out that sugar cookie squad member Selena Gomez was crowned most popular on Instagram, she decided to reassert her position as the alpha by throwing up a whole bunch of pictures of her vacation with her boyfriend of one year Calvin Harris (real name: Adam Richard Wiles) to Instagram. Because screw insane international data roaming rates when you’ve got some attention to yank away from your friend, right?
Taylor Swift And Calvin Harris Made It To The One-Year Mark
Cue up the Barry Manilow and pop a bottle of strawberry shortcake-flavored sparkling wine! Taylor Swift and Calvin Harris’ unfrosted sugar cookie love was clearly stronger than some pussy problems and massage parlor drama, because they celebrated their 1st anniversary on Sunday. I can’t believe it either; it feels like just yesterday Taylor’s vise-grip arms wrapped themselves around Rita Ora’s leftovers.
Taylor Swift Taught Calvin Harris Well
Sadly, it doesn’t seem like we’re going to get Taylor Swift break-up songs titled “No More Happy Endings” and “Tugging My Heart Strings Raw,” because her rep has rubbed out the rumor that Insufferable Barbie and Ken are over.
Over the weekend, Radar said that Taylor dumped Calvin into the dumpster marked “Taylor’s Ex-Boyfriends,” because he got caught leaving a massage place that is reportedly known for jerking the peen during a rubdown. (Gawker trolled rub and tug review sites and determined that if you’re looking for a prostate massage and a hand job, don’t go to the place where Calvin went, because they don’t do that kind of thing there.)
A source tells People that they’re still together and they’re still spending their hot Friday nights playing with her pussies. No, of course, I don’t mean that in a sex way. I don’t think they do that. I mean that they dress her cats up in bonnets and reenact scenes from Little House on the Prairie. Taylor’s rep Tree Paine also denied Radar’s story on Twitter. Yes, I know the real story here is that there’s a human on earth named Tree Paine. Tree Paine sounds like the name T-Pain’s parents gave him at birth, which is why he goes by T-Pain.
And Calvin took a page out of Taylor’s book on How To Deal With Everything by threatening to sue Radar and any other gossiping bitch who says that he loves a little and rub and tug.
It's not going to be a 'happy ending' for everyone I sue for defamation of character for all these bullshit stories bye bye
— Calvin Harris (@CalvinHarris) October 12, 2015
The “bye bye” really makes that threat extra hard and extra badass. You know a bitch is serious when they end their threat with a “bye bye.” But damn, Calvin got his dick skin in a twist over that story. If only there was a place that could rub out that knot for him…..