Fancy British actor Corin Redgrave, brother of Vanessa and Lynn, went off to heaven today at the age of 70. The Redgrave family said in a statement that Corin was hospitalized on Sunday after he came down with the ills. He passed away at the hospital while surrounded by his family. Corin was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2001.

Corin has a million and one stage and theater credits, but you might know him as Hamish from Four Weddings and A Funeral. Corin was also in Persuasion, Excalibur, A Man For All Seasons and David Copperfield. Corin also kept his hand in politics. He heavily protested against the Iraq War and founded the Peace and Progress Party with his sister Vanessa.

Corin Redgrave is survived by his wife, three sons and daughter.

Rest in peace, Colin…

And in case you need a little medicine after hearing this news, here you go. Open up and say AWWWWWWW:

Last year, the husband of a New Jersey housewife went around telling everyone that his marriage was flushed down a rest stop toilet off the turnpike after his wife allegedly creeped out on him with Bruce Springsteen. The Boss and his wife Patti both denied the rumors at the time. But now the husband is coming harder by giving specific details about the affair. Apparently, The Boss has a hongray hard-on for nice asses.

Mortgage broker Arthur Kelly filed for divorce from his wife of 17 years Ann on March 27th. In the documents, Arthur claims that his wife first met Bruce at a NJ gym in 2005. Bruce loved to stand on top of a stack of phone books (bitch is tiny) at the end of the treadmill and watch Ann as she ran. Bruce buttered Ann up by telling her that she had the “nicest ass” in the gym. Cut to a dozen bitches weeping into their sweat towels, because Bruce also told them they had the nicest ass in the gym.

The documents go on to claim that ass talk at the treadmill led to lunches, which eventually led to a 2-year affair. Ann would sometimes bring her daughters to lunch and they got to know The Boss so well that they called him “Bruce.” I guess “Mom’s Whore” was already taken by another dude.

Arthur says that his wife’s relationship with The Boss was even brought up during marriage counseling. Ann finally admitted that shit wasn’t right when one of Arthur’s friends spotted her kissing on The Boss in a parking lot.

Bruce’s rep kept their lips closed about these allegations, but a family friend told The New York Post, “Bruce and Patti continue to have a terrific marriage and are very devoted to each other and their children.”

Arthur Kelly ain’t shit! Not only did he not give up any real proof (aka a dirty tampon found in the parking lot of a Perkin’s or hundreds of sext messages), but because of his bit of information that The Boss loves The Ass I just had to Google “The ButtMaster.”

That little Google adventure took me to (NSFW) a place that I do not want to go to this early in the day. The ButtMaster’s long-grain nipples will tickle my eyelashes in my nightmares tonight. And don’t get me started on The Milk Massage. I can’t. I won’t. And neither will you.

If Chad Kroeger’s over-lubricated hair and Donald Trump’s parched straw nest butt fucked on top of Nicolas Cage’s head and got stuck….it would look just like this.

Nicolas Cage debuted his new Mickey Rourke-like (delivered with a Loki side-eye) weave at WonderCon in San Francisco, CA yesterday. Nicolas told reporters that he dyed his hair “Florida truck stop hooker” blonde for a movie role. No, the movie role is not The Crypt Keeper. It’s for some shit called Drive Angry.

I know Nicolas broker than a Lohan, but he could’ve put down the Sun-In bottle and called up one of my cousins to bleach his hair the right way. They would’ve done a better job using a bottle of Hydrogen Peroxide and a garden hose. This is some Section 8 weave shit.

This hot young actor has all the girls swooning over his good looks, his cool manner, and his gorgeous hair. Too bad the latter isn’t all his. Yes, even men have their hair enhanced to make them always look like they’re a few weeks late for a trip to a barber. Don’t run your fingers through this guy’s hair, though. If you get caught in the Virgin Indian Remy, he might bite you. (Blind Gossip)

RPattz’s magical unicorn forest is 100% natural! Every time a Twihard screeches his name one of his follicles grows half an inch. So I don’t think it’s RPattz. I’ll go with Ian Somerhalder from The Vampire Diaries?

This (ditzy) movie A-List actress smoked so much pot in her honey wagon on the set of one of her films that the company that rented the trailer had to rip all the carpet out and repaper the walls. They demanded that the studio collect the money from the actress, but the studio is nervous about pissing her off because for some inextricable reason she still brings seats into the theaters, so they put the responsibility back on the rental company. They say it’s up to the rental company to collect the money and now the jilted business is threatening to out the actress’ little habit. Not Charlize Theron. (BuzzFoto)

Well, when you google “ditzy stoner” Anna Faris’ picture comes up second! But I’ll still guess Cameron Diaz?

Which comic and former TV star gets his kicks by calling phone sex lines? A neighbor mistakenly got his phone bill and saw over a thousand dollars in charges. What’s the deal with that? (Star Magazine via Blind Gossip)

Leave Conan O’Brien alone! He has a lot of free time now. What else is he supposed to do?

This about to hit A list television actress on a fairly new hit network show shocked all of her fellow cast and the crew after she was handed a cup of coffee by a production assistant. After the production assistant had walked away, she had a sip, turned around and said, “that f**king n***er can’t even make a cup of coffee. They should fire him.” You could have heard a pin drop. (CDAN)

Does that fug monster from High Society count?

Kate Winslet and Sam Mendes have gone their separate ways after 7 years of marriage. Kate and Sam quietly broke up earlier this year after they realized their love died when they moved to the suburbs of Connecticut. Why didn’t they just go to Paris?! Why did Kate have to try to abort her own baby?! WHY?! WHY?! Note: That’s the plot of a movie, that isn’t real-life. I think.

Kate and Sam issued this diplomatic statement through a lawyer:

“Kate and Sam are saddened to announce that they separated earlier this year. The split is entirely amicable and is by mutual agreement. Both parties are fully committed to the future joint parenting of their children.”　

Just because Kate Winslet broke up with her husband doesn’t mean she’s going to dive to the bottom of the ocean to grab Leonardo DiCaprio’s hand and bring him back to shore with her so they can live happily ever after. That shit was jut a movie! Yes, Kate and Leo are always dry humping on each other at awards shows, but that doesn’t mean anything. They are just best girlfriends. Besides, Leonardo DiCatchaho only dates women he can order through the Sports Illustrated catalog.

Kate Gosselin’s rabid possum has been MIA for a while now, but I have been making pathetic excuses for its absence. I refused to believe the tragic truth, but it looks like it’s finally time to say goodbye. It’s really the end of an era, which kind of feels like the end of a bowel movement.

Hopefully, one of us will cross paths with Kate’s rabid possum in the future. Make sure to wink at it if you see it going through your trash cans early in the morning. And throw it a half-smile when you run into it in the waiting room of your therapist’s office. It will be there a lot. We must never forget.

Here’s the former Queen of the Possums showing off her new hair in NYC last night. Apparently, it took them 7-hours to give her a helmet version of Carol Channing’s glorious mop. Yes, 7 HOURS! Supercuts could’ve made her look like “a Southern 40-something divorcee who is forced to work as a hair salon receptionist” in about 10-minutes.