Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez couldn’t make it work, but at least they can still bond over their love of dating people who can’t remember watching Friends on Thursday nights.
Two months after Marc Anthony called it quits with his third wife Shannon De Lima (and days since their divorce was finalized), we’re finding out that 48-year-old Marc has a new girlfriend. And just like the last one, she’s a way-younger model. TMZ says that Marc has been rubbing his sensual skeletal bits on a 21-year-old model from Miami named Mariana Downing.
Fun fact: Mariana is two years younger than Marc’s daughter Ariana and five years older than his son Cristian.
Marc and Mariana got together shortly after Shannon hit the road back in November. They reportedly met at a dinner party. Marc and Mariana exchanged numbers, and he called her the next day. Marc and Mariana got real serious, real fast. She has accompanied him to one of his shows, and E! News says they spend New Year’s Eve together in the Dominican Republic.
Sources say they’ve been together ever since they met at that dinner party. Duh! Marc is middle-aged, rich and famous and Mariana is a hot young model. If they didn’t get together, I’m pretty sure none of us would be here today. The Earth would have shifted on its axis from the disruption in the universe. As the tides swallowed us whole, God would be standing there scratching his head in confusion, like “What the hell? This has never happened before.”
Shortly after Marc Anthony got semi-romantic with JLo on stage at the Latin Grammys last month, people couldn’t help but notice that his latest wife, Shannon De Lima, was strangely missing from the audience. The reason she wasn’t there was because Marc and Shannon had separated. They have now decided to change their situation from “taking a break” to “adding another name to Marc Anthony’s list of ex-wives.”
48-year-old Marc and 28-year-old Shannon released a statement today confirming that they’re divorcing:
“After much consideration, we have mutually and amicably decided to end our two year marriage. We ask for privacy during this difficult process, and no further comments will be made from either one of us about this personal matter.”
Skeletor didn’t have any kids with Shannon, so the only thing they’ll get to argue over in divorce court will be money and whatever she wants from Snake Mountain. No word on exactly what killed Shannon and Marc’s marriage, but a source tells People it probably had something to do with Marc always working.
“Marc is so busy with his career, touring and recording that he distances himself from his relationships without even knowing it. Even with his wife in tow, she can feel like he is on another planet. Marc likes to have a woman at home but he also likes to live like a bachelor. This doesn’t work for very long.”
I wonder what living like a bachelor means to Marc. Marc is rich, so something tells me his bachelor behavior is just a little different from the average bachelor. He’s probably still eating cereal on the couch in his underwear, except Marc’s balls are hanging out of 100% organic cashmere and his Fruity Pebbles are being eaten out of a hand-cut diamond.
If it feels like only two weeks ago that Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez decided to join forces to drum up some much needed attention, that’s because it was! JLo’s been in the “news” recently for breaking up with Gold Digging minor leaguer Casper Smart, but some of us flushed Skeletor down the gossip memory hole right around the time he and JLo split. Marc wasn’t about to pass up an opportunity to be talked about and now we have mysterious “sources” telling US Weekly that he wants his ex-wife back.
The Latin singer is “still in love” with Lopez, 47, a source exclusively reveals in the new issue of Us Weekly, and he “is trying to get back together with her.”
Though sources tell Us that Anthony’s marriage to De Lima, 28, had long been troubled, the insider says, “As soon as he heard Jennifer split with Casper, he wanted out.”
Naturally, Gossip Cop is saying UsWeekly’s story is a load of shit, so maybe these sources haven’t actually witnessed the power of their sweet music-making? Who knows.
They have kids together and presumably spend at least some time in each other’s company, so I’m not sure why he’s gone all Sigourney Weaver circa Gorillas in the Mist about it. I have to hope he didn’t actually break off his marriage to that gorgeous Venezuelan model to try to woo JLo back. Unless they really up the antics. A telenovela starring these two might be exactly what I need this Christmas.
Last night, Jennifer Lopez decided that she wanted to feel the cold and chilling touch of Skeletor’s lips again and so they kissed onstage at the Latin Grammy Awards. And today we find out that Marc Anthony’s marriage to his third wife Shannon De Lima is sinking to the bottom of the moat around Castle Grayskull after only 2 years of being married. JLo’s chocha reportedly doesn’t have anything to do with this break-up, but if it did, homewreckers would proclaim her their new Jedi homewrecking master for fucking up the marriage that came before and after hers. That takes skill!
Jennifer Lopez dumped Casper Smart two months ago, which means she’s free to do whatever she wants with her business. And apparently one of the things she wanted was to go to town on Marc Anthony’s mouth in front of an audience of a huge audience at the Latin Grammys last night in Las Vegas. Just a reminder that Marc Anthony is currently married to someone not named Jennifer Lopez.
“Girl, I don’t know really remember, I had to get all the way fucked up to deal with that fake bullshit” is probably what Leah Remini is saying in that picture after a pap asked her how Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ wedding went.
During an interview with 20/20 that airs tomorrow night, Leah Remini is supposed to lift the curtain covering up those alien-humping crazies and she’s also supposed to say some shit about Scientology’s golden child Tommy Girl. Leah supposedly says in the interview that Tommy played a role in why she decided to make like Kirstie Alley’s sanity and quit that bitch. Anybody who has been following Leah’s escape from Scientology knows that she slowly started to pull her head out of L. Ron Hubbard’s gaping asshole at Tommy and Katie’s wedding in Italy. Many things about that wedding have been said, but Tony Ortega added a little more info on his site The Underground Bunker (via Radar).