Anyone concerned that thrice divorced Jennifer Lopez is making a huge mistake by agreeing to marry alleged serial philanderer Alex Rodriguez can chill the fuck out. When JLo and A-Rod eventually do tie the knot, it won’t actually be JLo’s fourth trip down the aisle. According to People, JLo doesn’t count those first two marriages. By JLo’s logic, they didn’t happen in a church, neither of them lasted more than a year, and she didn’t do it for the right reasons so, ipso facto, she’s practically a virgin.
Only mediums and psychics will recall JLo’s phantom unions to Ojani Noa (1997-98) and to Cris Judd (2001-03). JLo says those were only attempts. The only one she counts is her 10 year marriage to Marc Anthony which produced her now 11-year-old twins Max and Emme.
“I’ve been married three times: once was nine months and once was 11 months. So I don’t really count those,” she said. “I was married to Marc for 10 years with the kids. I was very young the first two times I tried to get married. I’m saying tried to get married,” she added, laughing.
Had JLo tried a little harder, she could still be married to this hot piece instead of that smoked turkey leg she’s about to make a mistake with!
View this post on Instagram
Don't matter how many times you fail at trying., stand up, get up and TRY HARDER, But never, never Give up… No importa cuantas veces te caigas tratando, Parate y TRATA MÁS DURO, pero nunca, nunca te rindas" #keepontrying 💪💪 #standing #dontgiveup #workout #fit #fitness #strong #positive #motivation #motivacion #model #modeling #Perseverancia #persistencia #persistent #focus #consistent
But it sounds like JLo’s sure this time. Even though she’s busy touring, she and A-Rod are planning on doing it big.
“Now it’s been three years now,” the mother of two said of her romance with the former MLB star. “[We’ll get married] soon, not soon-soon but next year. I’d like a big wedding, I’d like to get married in a church this time. Never been married in a church.”
JLo says she didn’t marry Ojani or Chris for the right reasons. She did it because she was lonely.
“It seems like in this life you’re always surrounded by people so you’re never lonely but it’s very lonely. So you always want somebody with you,” she said. “So I felt like if I got married then I would always have somebody but that’s not how life works. That’s not how it goes, a bad reason to get married. Not the right one, the wrong one.”
Lopez added: “The right one is when you find somebody who makes you better.”
There’s no stopping the J-Rod train from pulling out of the station at this point anyway. I’m sure several legally binding contracts have already been signed that make a silly old marriage contract look about as official as a Post-It signed with a lipstick kiss.