There are several universal truths. Cats and dogs fight. As does the cast of Real Housewives of… wherever. And Leonardo DiCaprio likes to stick his peen in blonde models. It’s just how the world goes ’round! Only, Page Six just served up some “the world is square” shit, because it appears Leo has gone for a…BRUNETTE?!?!?! Hoo, honey, suddenly the phone line at every Supercuts in the country has gone busy, because every ho in town is rushing to get a cheap and easy dye job! Continue reading
Daddy Warbucks for the panty model set Leonardo DiCaprio will portray the universal genius painter and inventor of everything in a film adaption of author Walter Issacson’s Leonardo da Vinci. Look for a modern take on da Vinci’s story sort of in the vein of Demi Moore shredding The Scarlett Letter so it had a happy ending (?!?). Leonardo’s Leonardo will surely be surrounded by young, Renaissance-era maidens in chainmail lingerie while accompanied by a coterie of middle-aged pussy hunting douches who aren’t quite on his level of fame. Will Lukas Haas be playing Mona Lisa?
I’m sorry, Armie, but you’re much too old and not enough of a lingerie model for Leo.
Kinky bitch Armie Hammer (who I always want to call “Arm & Hammer” because I’m sure he hasn’t heard that before) appeared on Watch What Happens Live. Host Andy Cohen asked him a series of questions about the movie J. Edgar. Armie played Clyde Tolson in the film, who was famed FBI director and glass closet inventor J. Edgar Hoover’s secret lover. Leonardo DiCaprio played J. Edgar Hoover, and they make out in the movie. (You can watch a really poor version of that scene here.) Of course, that’s what all of Andy’s questions were about.
Andy gave us the Real Housewives franchise, so he has little to no shame. He asked Armie whether he popped wood when he and Leo were making out. Despite the absence of rope or ball-gags, the answer was a nod and a definite “yes!” We need more upfront celebs like Armie. He’s into BDSM and possibly bisexual and doesn’t care if you know about it. Although, when it comes to the kinky stuff, I’m not sure he realized people can see what you “like” on Twitter.
You can watch that part of the interview here:
Model devourer and “Pussy Posse” elder statesman, Leonardo DiCaprio, attended the amfAR gala at Cannes on Thursday. Fellow guest and desolate-eyed model, Bella Hadid, was photographed speaking with him while having placed one hand on his shoulder. This is celebrity gossip, so that means they’re totally fucking.
Victoria’s Secret and Sports Illustrated model Nina Agdal turned 25 on March 26, 2017. And 25 is usually the expiration date for Leonardo’s girlfriends. So I’m sure Nina was starting to get that old lady smell about her and 42-year-old Leonardo DiCaprio just had to toss her before he really got grossed out from seeing a wrinkle on her face or from watching her spend an hour trying to open a Werther’s Original. I mean, Leo’s no granny fucker!
The last time we checked in on the skinny revolving door that is Leonardo DiCaprio’s dating life, Jack Nicholson Jr. was supposedly getting with bikini model Nina Agdal. Nina got to tag along with Leo and his life intern, Lukas Haas, on a trip to Mexico a few weeks ago. Well, it sounds like another blonde bikini model walked a little too close to Leo and got caught in his gravitational manwhore pull.