Yesterday, Tobey Maguire and his wife Jennifer Meyer announced that they’re done being a couple after 9 years of marriage. In their statement, they said that they came to that decision after doing a lot of “soul searching.” And according to Page Six, Tobey may have also been doing a lot of “hole searching” in the past few months while hitting up the clubs with the Pussy Posse (I still refuse to call them the Wolf Pack). 2016 has been chock-full of weirdness and that includes us gossiping about the adventures of Tobey Maguire’s dick.
Despite what that header pic would lead you to believe, it doesn’t look like Leonardo DiCaprio will be in it. That’s too bad. I was hoping we’d get to see the Planeteers side-eye Captain Planet when they realize he spends about 75% of the year on a yacht.
I can picture it now. A panicked Leonardo DiCaprio runs down into the lower deck of the S.S. Snatch Catcher and throws his Oscar at his forever life intern Lukas Haas. “HIDE THIS! They can come for my money, they can come for my panty models, but they can never take my precious!!”
Earlier this summer, Leonardo DiCaprio’s name popped up in the news in a bad way. No, it wasn’t because everyone on his yacht got food poisoning after Jonah Hill sneezed on the on-boat buffet. It’s actually way more serious than that, and it could cost him some dollars in his bank account.
The world is crumbling down and there’s uncertainty all around us, but at least some things to stay the same, like Leonardo DiCatchAHo stays putting his mouth on the face of a 20-something blond Victoria’s Secret model.
41-year-old Leonardo and 24-year-old Dutch model Nina Agdal reportedly bumped down-low parts a couple of years ago, but proving that he’s the greatest environmentalist of our time, he recycled by hanging out with her again in May. Since then, they were seen together in Montauk, NY and they vacationed together in the Bahamas. And today The Daily Mail posted EXCLUSIVO pictures of Leo either kissing Nina’s face or giving her CPR after she passed out due to boredom from listening to him talk about his soulmate (Oscar) in detail again while hanging out in Malibu, CA yesterday.
— YEGOB (@Yegobdotcom) July 15, 2016
Some source tells E! News that they’re definitely a thing, but Nina’s heart is still raw and fragile from her last break-up and she hopes that Leo won’t hurt her:
“They are dating. She really likes him and hopes she doesn’t get hurt. They have great chemistry and laugh a lot. She just got out of a very serious relationship so she is just trying to not rush into anything to serious this summer but when Nina falls for a guy, she really falls.”
Nina really has nothing to worry about! I’m sure that Leonardo will never do her wrong and they’ll get married, have children and in 40 years, the paparazzi will be taking pictures of him kissing her on the beach in Malibu as their grandchildren play around them. Or as soon as Leonardo sees a wrinkle growing on Nina’s face, he’ll do the gentlemanly thing and give her 1 hour to move her shit out of his house while he calls Victoria’s Secret to tell them to send over a new one. Either or!
This particular People cover doesn’t have anything to do with this post. I just want to know Kimmy Gibbler’s secrets now.
Following in the legendary footsteps of Arnetta the Moodsetta and the safety slide-utilizing Jet Blue flight attendant, People magazine reporter Sara Hammel quit her gig by spilling the tea on the magazine (and a couple of celebrities) in an e-mail blast on Monday.
Hammel’s resignation snatched at the wigs belonging to George Clooney, Jennifer Lopez and an unnamed Hollywood A-Lister who was such a perv to her that she wanted to stab him in the balls with her reportin’ pen. She also noted that Lt. Olivia Benson (the celebrity not the cat) rivals Claire Danes when it comes to the ugly-cry.
“Really? Me? As a Persian man? We think this is a good idea?” is what it looks like Leonardo DiCaprio is thinking in that picture above.
Because Hollywood clearly hasn’t learned anything from that time they cast Rooney Mara as Tiger Lily , or Rooney Mara as Mary Magdalene, or Joaquin Phoenix as Jesus, or Emma Stone was cast as Allison Ng, or Tilda Swinton as The Ancient One, Leonardo DiCaprio is being considered to play Persian poet Jalal ad-Din Muhammad Rumi (or simply Rumi) in an upcoming biopic. Yes, that Leonardo DiCaprio. The one you’re looking at above.