The brown-haired, dead-eyed wooden model named Bella Hadid is currently at Cannes. And the other brown-haired, dead-eyed wooden model named Emily RideAJetski is also at Cannes, and at yesterday’s premier of Nelyubov, she dropped massive amounts of black lace under-titty classiness on the red carpet. That’s a whole lot of look, but it’s Cannes! If you’re not delivering a whole lot of look, take your ass to the People’s Choice Awards. Although, since Emily is permanently suffering from a severe case of dehydration, she’d wear this to the People’s Choice Awards too.
It looks like some of the worst trends simultaneously caca’d all over Emily. Underboob? Check! Chichis window? Check! Nude illusion? Check!
On I Love Lucy, Lucy would sometimes wear this glamorous sheer housecoat thing over cigarette pants and it was a perfect vision of elegance, and Emily RideAJetSki’s look is like the NastyDress.com version of that. This is something Sophia Loren would’ve worn back in the day if she was tacky, on a budget and suffered from narcolepsy so she needed a fluffy duvet handy for quick naps.
And just when you thought that Emily RideAJetSki reached the pinnacle of elegance with this look, she faced the front and showed off a crotch seam that looks like a never-ending sparkly landing strip (see: first picture in the gallery and prepare to be hit by the classiness of it all).
Here’s more from the Nelyubov premiere and I also threw in pictures from today’s Okja premiere because I just couldn’t ignore Tilda Swinton looking like a glorious albino alien mother of the bride.
Pics: Backgrid, Wenn.com
Bollywood star Aishwarya Rai has been described as the most gorgeous woman in the world by people who obviously have never felt their retinas curl from the sheer shock of Shauna Sand’s natural beauty. But when a picture of a fuller Aishwarya Rai, taken six months after she gave birth, made the rounds, some dim-brained shit bags told her to get out of the kitchen and get back on the treadmill! According to them, it’s her job as a Bollywood star to be skinny at all times…like Posh! Yeah, those bitches completely lost me when they compared Aishwarya Rai, a human being, to Posh, an alien amphibian who loses her 4 pounds of baby weight by shedding her skin on the plastic surgeon’s table while nurses from NASA suck tiny particles of fat from her gills with Dyson wet vacs. That seems unfair, but that’s probably just me.
At AmfAR’s Cinema Against AIDS gala in Cannes last night, Aishwarya Rai made her first red carpet appearance since dumb fucks called her fat and ugly, and guess what? She still looked hot. To me, Aishwarya Rai would still be gorgeous even if she had 50 extra pounds on her body and those 50 extra pounds were from wearing a floor length coat made of hideous glove shoes, boots made from Kardashian taint hair, three extra chins covered with UGGs fur, a CROCs top hat and a beaver backpack with Chris Brown’s face on it. I know, I went too far with whole “Chris Brown backpack” thing.