Archives: November 2015

Soap Opera Legend David Canary From “All My Children” Has Died

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

It’s a sad and shitty day for All My Children fans and all of us 80s kids who watched it while home sick from school. The Wilton Bulletin reports that David Canary, who played good and evil twins Stuart and Adam Chandler on AMC, died from natural causes on November 16th in Wilton, Connecticut. He was 77.

David Canary grew up in Massillon, Ohio, where he played high school football and got a scholarship to the University of Cincinnati. After getting his degree in music, he turned down an offer to play for the Denver Bronco because he wanted to go to New York City to act. David did theater in NYC and around the country before he was drafted into the army. When he get out of the army, he got a recurring role in Peyton Place and later played Candy on Bonanza.

Before he got the role that made him a daytime legend, he was in the soap operas Search For Tomorrow, The Doctors and Another World. On New Year’s Eve in 1983, he made his debut as the ruthless ass Adam Chandler. A year after that, he started playing Adam’s sweet and naive brother Stuart. He played Adam and Stuart Chandler on AMC (and sometimes on my soap One Life to Live) until 2010 when he retired from acting full-time. After retiring, he continued to act a little bit and he went back to All My Children for the show’s finale in 2011. He was nominated 16 times for a Daytime Emmy and won 5 times.

David was married to Maureen Canary for 33 years and they had a son Christopher and a daughter Kathryn.

As soon as I heard the news about Adam Chandler’s death earlier today, I kept refreshing Susan Lucci’s Twitter over and over again for her words about this sadness. Erica Kane was married to Adam Chandler in the early 80s. They broke up, but in the 90s, Adam blackmailed Erica into renewing their vows after telling her that their marriage never legally ended. You know, it happens. La Lucci finally said these words about David Canary:

I just learned the news that the wonderful David Canary has passed away–I saw it posted on Kelly Ripa”s site. My deepest and heartfelt sympathy to his wife Mo and his children, Christopher and Katie. Rest in peace, David–you warm and generous, talented and fabulous man, actor and friend! I am so grateful to have known you–and to have had the privilege of sharing the AMC stage with you! I will never forget you.

Rest in peace, Adam and Stuart Chandler.

Pic: ABC


Night Crumbs

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Gigi Hadid has gone from Cody Simpson to Joe Jonas and now she’s on Zayn Malik. Gigi’s PR whores deserve a bonus for working this hard around the holidays and I deserve your damn pity, because I was able to type all those names correctly without Googling. This is my life… – Lainey Gossip 

Radar claims they’ve seen clips from a sex tape where Charlie Sheen sucks some dick between smoking crack. Eh, that’s really nothing, because which one of us hasn’t sucked a dick in front of a camera for some crack? – The Superficial

I’m really disappointed in Maxim for not making that picture extra elegant by Photoshopping a stream of water shooting out of Alessandra Ambrosio’s b-hole – Drunken Stepfather

In these pictures, Richard Gere’s 32-year-old piece is acting like me after I tried Ecstasy for the first time. All vulnerable and confused. I just want to throw orange juice at her – Celebitchy

Mike Shouhed and Jessica Parido from Shahs of Sunset are getting a divorce after 8 months of marriage and I’m prolapsing out of shock, because I can’t believe they lasted as long as 8 months – Reality Tea 

Here’s Megan Fox on the set of New Girl. I don’t know if she’s trying to act or if she just really has to take a piss – IDLYITW

Joseph Gordon-Levitt kissed on James Corden hard and I think James Corden may have needed to change his chonies afterward – Towleroad

Ashley Benson looks like she’s thinking to herself, “double stick tape, don’t let me down,” over and over again – Popoholic

Screw Adele, a real legendary nightingale has a new album out too – OMG Blog

Salma Hayek’s husband is a billionaire, so I don’t know why she’s wearing a Miss Kitty from Gunsmoke dress that was rented from a discount costume shop – Hollywood Tuna 

A Tremors TV show is happening – Pajiba

A judge declared that Sherri Shepherd has to continue to pay child support for the child she wants nothing to do with – Jezebel

The first promo for FOX’s Grease Live! is out. My only question besides “WHY?” is about Carly Rae Jepsen. Is she playing Frenchie or Molly Ringwald in Pretty in Pink? – SOW

Gwen Stefani needs to drink everything in that Starbucks cup since she’s obviously thirstier than thirsty – Popsugar

John Stamos got 3 years probation for his DUI – Just Jared

Chris Colfer is in the AbFab movie – Boy Culture


Pics: Splash


Will Smith Makes Marriage Sound Really Fun

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Jada Pinkett Smith has said before that her marriage with Will Smith has lasted, because she lets him do whatever he wants to do (even if that includes doing another piece) and that they’re their own people and shit. But Will told Entertainment Tonight at last night’s screening of his movie Concussion in L.A. that he and Jada have been married so long because neither of them are willing to quit no matter how awful, horrible, painful and torturous it gets. Be prepared to swoon yourself inside/out, because this is romance. Will said this after ET asked him what the key to their long marriage:

“We’ve been married 20 years and we’ve been asking ourselves that question and really at the end of the day it’s just not quitting. You can’t expect it to be easy, it’s like our marriage was the most difficult, grueling, excruciating thing that we have ever taken on in our lives. And you know we’re just not quitters.

If there is a secret I would say is that we never went into working in our relationship. We only ever worked on ourselves individually, and then presented ourselves to one another better than we were previously.”

I need to know just how excruciating and grueling it is. Is it more painful than watching After Earth on a loop while your eyelids are taped open, your body is strapped to a chair and pure caffeine is being injected into your veins to keep you awake? If it’s more painful than that, then the rumors about Will and Jada being Scientologists must be true and they’re one hundred percent dead inside. Because it doesn’t get anymore painful than that.

And here’s more of Jada and Will at last night’s screening. I can already hear JLo screaming, “THAT BITCH,” because Jada’s wearing the dress she was planning to wear to Catholic mass on Christmas Eve.

Pic: FameFlynet

Would You Have A Threesome With 1960s Sean Connery And Your Sister?

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Page Six says that Carly Simon writes in her memoir Boys In The Trees about the time in 1965 when Sean Connery offered up his Scotch eggs and blood sausage to her, only there was one problem… Sean wanted Carly’s sister to get in on the action. What kind of Mad Men episode foolery…

Carly says that when she was 20 and her sister Lucy was 22 they were on a ship traveling from London to New York and they met a then 35-year-old Sean Connery. Carly says that the three of them had drinks and ended up in his cabin. While in his cabin, Sean, who was married at the time, proposed having a ménage à trois. Carly writes that one of her friends called it a “Simon sisters sandwich.” Carly and Lucy said thanks, but no thanks. But the next night, Lucy ended up with a coochie full of 007 and she did it by herself. The Hollywood Reporter says that Carly felt so betrayed by her sister boning Sean Connery that when they got to New York, she ended their musical duo The Simon Sisters. In other words, Sean Connery’s dick broke up The Simon Sisters. Sean Connery’s dick is the original Yoko Ono.

I don’t even want to answer my own headline question, but I will. To paraphrase Meat Loaf, I would do anything for dick but I won’t do that.

My sister and I fight over everything. One time when we were kids, I was playing with her Barbie car and she didn’t like that. We fought over it for a few minutes and I ended up throwing it against the wall and it broke. So imagine what would happen if we had to share a dude. Actually, don’t.

With that being, I hate Carly Simon’s ass for bringing this up.

Pic: United Artists

Open Post: Hosted By Hair Twins Brad Pitt And Ryan Gosling

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

No, these aren’t pictures from the Fighting the Hot Grand Championships of 2015. These pictures are from last night’s NYC premiere of The Big Short where Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling showed off the matching hairstyles they obviously got from Johnny Depp’s stylist.

I’m not even sure if this is the real Brad Pitt and Ryan Gosling. Brad Pitt looks like what you would get if you put pictures of Aaron Sorkin, Suze Orman, Sliding Doors Goopy Paltrow and current day Johnny Depp in baby morphing software. That hair is either a 90s Nick Carter wig or that grey hair he had on his head the other day was a $2 Anderson Cooper wig from the Dollar General. And Ryan Gosling!

Ryan Gosling needs to pull out his phone and immediately delete the number of the trick who painted up his face like that. That’s a look that a goth high school kid would put together using baby powder and an old eyeliner pencil he stole from the back of his mother’s bathroom cabinet. Dude’s makeup is very newbie emo kid and it’s a tragedy. Ryan should cancel everything and immediately have an emergency FaceTime session with Jeremy Renner, because Hawkeye will teach him how to properly tame and work an eyeliner pencil.

Pics: Getty, Splash,

Kaley Cuoco Covered Up Her Wedding Date Tattoo With A Big Ass Moth

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

After their marriage bit and swallowed the dust, Kaley Cuoco and her husband of a second Ryan Sweeting learned a lesson many of us hos already knew: It’s probably not the best idea to marry a trick and honor your “love” with a tattoo minutes after you touched genitals for the first time. Kaley got their wedding date inked into her back and Ryan got her name tattooed on his arm. As soon as I saw Kaley’s tattoo, my cynical ass figured that in the future she’d either have to laser it off or she’d have to marry her next husband on New Year’s or she’d have to cover that mess up with another tattoo. Kaley did the latter and today, she Instagrammed a picture of what she covered it up with. Her back now looks like an unfinished Silence of the Lambs poster. Buffalo Bill’s going to think that Kaley is flirting with him.


Kaley thanked the tattoo artiste who erased her wedding date from her back and also added that she got a moth tattoo because it got the job done:

Thank you @nero_sct @studiocitytattoo for helping me right my wrongs.. note to self- do not mark your body with any future wedding dates #under30mistakes #donttakeyourselftooseriouslykids

the deep, meaningful, larger than life meaning behind this beautiful piece of ink, is….. It covered the last one.

Moths are annoying and are attention whores who are always trying to hog up the light, so that tattoo is perfect! But really, I actually like it for 3 reasons. If you look at the bottom of the moth, it looks like a short dick with two wart-covered nuts. The best kind of tattoo is a tattoo that has a peen on it.

And here’s Kaley in Colonel Sanders cosplay at a dog charity event a few days ago:

Pics: Splash, Instagram,


Chris Rock Denies He Adopted The Little Girl Who Has Lived In His House For Years

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

After Chris Rock filed for divorce from his wife of 18 years, Malaak Compton-Rock, shit started getting all kinds of messy when they fought over custody of their children and cash. Well, now an extra thick layer of sad and shady has been added to their mess of a divorce fight.

TMZ says that ever since 2008, a girl from South Africa named Ntombi has been living with the Rocks in New Jersey. Ntombi started living with them when she was only 6 months old. 7-year-old Ntombi’s biological parents live in South Africa and TMZ doesn’t know how she ended up living with the Rocks full-time. Ntombi became a part of the family and there’s several pictures of her with Chris Rock at events. Everything was rainbows and unicorn kisses until Chris and Malaak’s marriage flatlined.

At around the same time that Chris Rock filed divorce papers, officials in South Africa started putting a giant magnifying glass over how Ntombi ended up in the US. South African officials apparently don’t have any record of the Rocks adopting Ntombi. TMZ also couldn’t find any record of the adoption. Sources say that Chris never signed papers to legally adopt Ntombi and Malaak was the one who brought her to the US.

Those sources also say that Chris Rock’s heart is made of ice-wrapped anus scabs, because he regularly sees his 2 biological daughters, but hasn’t seen Ntombi for more than a year. Chris’ rep tells TMZ that he doesn’t have an adopted child. Damn, that rep straight-up pulled some, “the kid is not my son daughter” shit.

If I had to speculate, I’d say that right after Chris Rock filed divorce papers and things started to hit train wreck territory, someone called the South African Adoption Department tip line and let them know about a possible illegal adoption scandal in New Jersey. If that’s the case, Kelly Rutherford is going to slide up right next to Chris Rock, because she’ll want him to teach her his ways.

Pic: Splash

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Adele Is Officially The Reigning Ruler Of The Charts

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

That Saturday Night Live skit spoke the damn truth. Everybody from your racist auntie to your grandma lives, breathes, eats, snorts, injects, butt chugs and inhales Adele, because pretty much everybody bought her new album. If you didn’t buy it, you probably feel the same way I felt on the first day of the 3rd grade when every brat showed up with British Knights on their feet and I showed up with generic brand Vans. Billboard says that *NSYNC’s 2000 album No Strings Attached used to hold the single week sales record until Adele came along and slapped the curl right out of Justin Timberlake’s glorious caramel popcorn hair. Adele beat the record in a little over 3 days.

Bristol Palin Is Naming Her Kid “Sailor” Too

November 24, 2015 / Posted by:

Misshapen raffia bow Kristin Cavallari announced yesterday that she and her broken light bulb of a husband Jay Cutler gave their third child, a girl, the name “Saylor James.” While many of us ran over to that “Taylee-McKarty-Lakynn” picture to double check to see if “Saylor” was on it, the Princess of Alaska Bristol Palin let everyone know on Instagram (via UsWeekly) that she’s naming her baby after a sea man. Bristol said that she came up with the name before hearing that the chick from Laguna Beach named her daughter “Saylor.” Sailor Moon is side-eyeing both of those messes.

when you find out @kristincavallari named her baby the exact name you are naming yours what a weird coincidence .. congrats on your new bundle, and I do love her name.. Still naming my baby girl Sailor!

Bristol’s son’s name is Tripp and “The Tripp And Sailor” sounds like a dance that was really popular at weddings in the late 80s. If naming your daughter “Sailor” becomes a thing, there’s going to be a nation full of girls who will become experts at eye-rolling, because they’ll hear the phrase, “Hey there, Sailor,” at least three times a day.

If Bristol thinks she came up with that name first, she needs to stop, because before she could even spell “sailor” (although, she probably only learned how to spell it correctly last week), Christie Brinkley named her daughter that! Trick needs to give credit where credit is due. And since we’re on the subject of Christie and need a palate cleanser (because Bristol), here she is busting out a “Bitch, you know I still got it,” pose while on vacation.

Pic: Instagram


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