And Now For Kim Kardashian’s Letter To Her Future Self

Yes, the person above knows what the word “future” means. I can’t believe it either. Full-time drowsy-faced Instagram model and part-time mother Kim Kardashian “wrote” a letter to her future self for Glamour.com containing a list of her hopes and dreams for the next 10 years. Naturally, I assumed that letter was just a piece of paper with a bunch of dicks drawn on it in black pen, but it turns out it was an actual letter with actual words.

According to Kim’s letter, Kim wants Future Kim to “remember to be kind” to herself about her body and to enjoy how she looks right now because she’s “not getting any younger.” Damn, present-day Kim is a cold-ass bitch. Kim also hopes that Future Kim is patient with her 12-year-old daughter, North West, who no doubt wants nothing to do with the vulcanized tire she calls a mother. Once she got all the superficial shit out of the way, Kim got into her real wishes: Kim hopes that Future Kim is still really good at contouring her face, and that science will have invented a green juice that keeps you tan forever. “Me too, girl,” thought Rachel Dolezal.

“Am I still on fleek? Am I still hot? Please tell me I’m still hot. Oh lord, I’m not hot anymore, am I? Am I at least still hotter than Khloe?”

Here’s more of present-day Kim, Kanye West, and about 2/3 of the Kardashian Koven at Disneyland for North’s 2nd birthday. I heard they couldn’t go on the It’s A Small World ride. Apparently, there was too great a chance Kim would steal the head off the hippo and use it to pad the ass of her pants.

Pics: Splash