Category: Open Post

Open Post: Hosted By Mary–Kate Olsen’s Wedding Muumuu

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

America’s most high profile bag ladies, Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, were bridesmaids at close friend/watch designer Cassie Coane’s wedding this weekend, where the dress code for all the gals was simply floral (groundbreaking!). Rookie mistake, Cass! You never give an Olsen twin an open-ended FAHSHUN command, because one of them inevitably is going to arrive wearing some $10 million piece of WTF that looks like a Sunday school arts and crafts project. Sure enough, while Ashley kind of kept it basic with a black cocktail dress that included what People calls a “statement sleeve,” Mary-Kate threw on what looks like a comforter stolen from the bed of a 1960s-era Woodstock Holiday Inn. The kimono was paired with green mules, floral headband, and the signature Olsen scowl. One of the wedding attendees even managed to catch the Loch Ness Monster twins smiling on camera:

When the bride says wear floral, you wear floral. ✌🏽💕 #mrandmrsflames

A post shared by kylemilleryoga (@kylemilleryoga) on

The upstate New York bash seems like pretty standard Olsen fare: Paleo cooking over an open flame where the poor chefs had to wear old-timey costumes (“What?! I’m dressed like a half-ass geisha! I’m in on the fun, too!” -Mary Kate), orange flower necklaces for the bridesmaids that most certainly never touched a pristine Olsen décolletage, and personalized watercolor illustrationzzzzz. There was no word on what time Mary-Kate’s shift at Benihana started later that night or whether some smartass had the balls to project It Takes Two onto a nearby Hudson River Valley barn, but a boy can dream!

Pic: Instagram

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Nicolas Cage Is In Kazakhstan

July 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Nicolas Cage went to Kazakhstan in character as Nicolas Cage in Kazakhstan. Nobody does Nicky Cage quite like Nicky Cage. According to People:

The actor caused a social sensation during a recent appearance at the 13th Annual Eurasia International Festival in Kazakhstan, where he posed for a photo alongside the country’s first lady, Sara Nazarbayeva, on Sunday.

Cage wore a shirt and tie underneath the traditional garments, which included an ornate fur robe with gold embellishments and a matching fur hat—and paired the look with a stoic expression the internet found priceless.

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Open Posted: Hosted By Liev Schreiber, Also Known As Super-Dad

July 23, 2017 / Posted by:

When I was a little kid, I discovered comic books and fell in love with jacked men in tights the art form. My mom checked out an issue to make sure they weren’t actually porn, and drove me to the comic shop exactly one time. This was probably to make sure I wouldn’t be bullied by the two mouth-breathing dudes who were always at the counter ready to throw punches over who was the better Green Lantern.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Teen Who Ate A Hot Pepper Every Time Ariana Grande Said “Um”

July 22, 2017 / Posted by:

Kids CAN do astonishing things! The AV Club has introduced the world to this brave and probably seriously injured teenager who tortured himself to help Ariana Grande with her public speaking. He made a video in which he ate a hot pepper every time Ariana said “um” in an award acceptance speech. This is amusing at first, but then it veers into torture and (spoiler alert) ends with gagging. So, is it possible to completely burn out your taste buds so they’ll never come back? Does this child have the ability to taste anymore?

It was no joke. The kid wrote in the video caption:

“Words can’t not [sic] describe the amount of pain I experienced after turning the camera off.”

Hopefully Ariana sees this video and realizes the amount of pain the verbalization of her thought process is causing. Watch the poor boy, below.

Pic: YouTube

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Open Post: Hosted By Tiffany Haddish Explaining To Jada Pinkett Smith What Groupon Is

July 21, 2017 / Posted by:

The cast of Girls Trip are working the press circuit, since their movie is going to battle with Dunkirk this weekend. Jada Pinkett Smith was busy appearing on Watch What Happens Live last night, sipping a cocktail and fake asking, “A key party? What’s that?!”. On the West Coast, Jada’s co-star Tiffany Haddish took to Jimmy Kimmel Live to share how she got high and went on a Groupon date with America’s most famous certainly-not-swinging couple: Continue reading

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