Category: Open Post

Open Post: Hosted By Tiffany Haddish Cashing In On That Groupon Story

January 15, 2018 / Posted by:

For those of us broke hos who pay for a block of store-brand cheddar cheese with our debit cards and a prayer that it doesn’t cause an overdraft fee, Groupon is a saving grace. Thanks to the miracle of the Internet, Groupon allows us with limited means to still live the glam life by offering fancy shit like massages for a discount…even if it does mean going to a sketchy place in a half-abandoned suburban strip mall next to the Little Caesars that routinely makes the news for E. coli outbreaks. Tiffany Haddish knows this very well and famously explained the concept to Jada Pinkett Smith and Will Smith while filming Girls Trip in New Orleans. That story just landed Tiffany some coins in her pocket, as she’s now the new spokeswoman of Groupon! Continue reading

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Open Post: Hosted By The Rooster That Greets His Human At The School Bus Everyday

January 14, 2018 / Posted by:

Meet Frog (via Mashable). He’s an especially loyal rooster who lives to greet his human Savannah as she disembarks from the school bus everyday. This is kind of a “Very Special Open Post” because who thought roosters could be cute? These are not aesthetically pleasing animals. At least not compared to sloths or pandas.

Watching Frog patter his little rooster feet down the lane with such enthusiasm to meet Savannah was heartwarming. Do you think he sees her off, too? Waiting for the bus when you’re a kid in the cold and rain sucks. But having a rooster friend standing by your side and crowing for you to have a good day would be worth the daily drudge. This clip could save rooster lives because you know there’s some farm person out there who’s had enough of being woken up at the crack of dawn by chicken screaming and planning to throw something at their rooster. Hopefully he or she will watch this and think twice about strangling it.

Pic: YouTube

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Open Post: Hosted By This Family’s Beautiful Family Photo Shoot Results

January 13, 2018 / Posted by:

Ok, they look like the terrifying “Hi Stranger’s immediate family. This is probably supposed to inspire laughter but my life hasn’t been the same since watching the “Hi Stranger” vid. I don’t want to look at your butt. Ever.

St. Louis’ KSDK reported on the Zaring family’s “professional photoshoot” and how it made them look like the killer from House of Wax did away with their facial features. The Zarings went in front of the camera in May of 2017 and…this… was the result that they posted on Facebook. The photographer admitted to the family that she was never taught to “retouch photos.” She also blamed “the shadows” being “bad that day.” Was there a total eclipse?

Unless this is a hoax. It’s gotta be, right? How could someone with the ability to see release these pics to a customer? Does the photographer eat laundry pods? Questions, questions, questions. But at least on a mistake scale of “not bad” from “accidentally pressing the incoming missile alert button,” this is closer to the former than the latter.

Pic: Facebook

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Open Post: Hosted By Emma Roberts’ Tragic Lloyd Christmas Bangs

January 12, 2018 / Posted by:

If you happen to see Emma Thompson, Emma Bunton, Emma Stone or any other famous Emma strolling into Lena Dunham’s hair salon (aka Superfuglycuts), immediately scream at their asses to think of their hair and to not do it. Because it seems like all of the famous Emmas are getting  their bangs butchered as they though they were a toddler whose drunk, lazy mom cut her hair with rusty pruning shears (or whose mom really hates her and wants her to get made fun of at school). First Emma Watson got baby bangs, and now Emma Roberts is out there looking like a Vulcan-ized white Cleopatra. Baby bangs: it’s an emmademic!

Emma’s on-and-off-again fiancé/boyfriend/whatever Evan Peters was nominated for Best Actor in a Movie/Miniseries (for American Horror Story: Cult) at last night’s Critics’ Choice Awards. Evan may have lost to Ewan McGregor for Fargo, but his fiancée/girlfriend/whatever unofficially won an award For Most Tragic Fringe Job thanks to that American Horror Story: Bangs shit terrorizing her forehead. Maybe Emma was feeling charitable last night and wanted to give her haters some easy ammunition by doing her hair like the Queen of the Trash People?

It’s obvious that Emma’s bangs are of the clip-on kind, and so I feel sorry for the bottomless hula girl doll whose grass skirt was stolen from her and slapped on Emma’s head. But if Emma really did do that to her hair for real, I shouldn’t make fun of her. I mean, it’s better that she’s fucking up her bangs instead of fucking up her boyfriend.

Pics: Wenn.com

Open Post: Hosted By The Woman Who Got Costco To Refund Christmas

January 11, 2018 / Posted by:

If you’re a cheap bitch like me, Costco is Shangri-La. You can easily have brunch with just a well-timed shopping trip that just happens to coincide when all the Saturday early afternoon sample ladies are hawking everything from Swedish meatballs to Fruit Roll-Ups (thanks for the advice, Miss Tina!). Costco is also known for its pretty lax return policy…as in, they’ll just about take anything back, so it was only a matter of time before someone took it to the next level. For instance, meet the woman who got them to refund her Christmas tree…in January. Continue reading

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Open Post: Hosted By Diet Coke’s New Millennial Bait

January 10, 2018 / Posted by:

The only thing people up here in Boston love more than a laaaahge Dunkin iced coffee and a scratch-off to go with a morning cigg is a flavored fizzy water, and apparently Millennials are also into that shit (minus the smokes, scratchies, and Dunkies). Diet Coke is taking note, which is why those cans are getting a new lewk and getting more flavors – La Croix, call a lawyer! This is some Single White Female shit! Continue reading

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