Category: Open Post

Open Post: Hosted By This Irish College Student’s Insane Campaign Video

March 26, 2017 / Posted by:

I’d vote for her in a hot second!

Mashable would like you to meet University of Limerick, Ireland student, Aoife O’Brie. She’s running for the VP Academic Officer in her students’ union, and wanted to stand out from the competition, so she put together this crazy-ass campaign video. It’s going to take you on a journey behind the drapes of reality and further still. “I honestly thought I stuck to booze last night but now I’m not so sure…” – me after watching this video this morning.

Hopefully, she wins. She might have to make her acceptance speech from a wheelchair though because her asshole friend(?) hit her REALLY hard. Ow?

Pic: Facebook

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Open Post: Hosted By Matt McGorry’s Twerking

March 25, 2017 / Posted by:

Celebrities twerking can be as tired a pop culture phenomenon as it wants to be. Because when the hot dudebro from How To Get Away With Murder is popping that boi-pussy (I’m so sorry for typing that) in his underwear for Instagram licks, it’s more than ok.

Matt McGorry isn’t just an actor, strident social justice warrior and former bodybuilder, he’s also a male stripper wannabe. Dude’s lower body is almost hypnotic. I know he’s doing it for laughs but damn, where was this one when my bachelor party was being planned? Matt should totally (NSFW) Nomi Malone Jon Gosselin’s ass in Atlantic City and steal the spotlight when he has the time.

Matt, I know you’re an SJW and objectifying people probably isn’t your favorite, but I’m going to continue doing it with this next sentence. Less clothes next time, guy.

Watch Matt sell that ass and sell it righteously below.

Getting a quick twerkout in b4 the weekend.

A post shared by Matt McGorry (@mattmcgorry) on

Pic: Instagram

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Open Post: Hosted By A Dog Who Could’ve Won It All

March 23, 2017 / Posted by:

One of last year’s Hot Slut of the Months was Ludivine, a dog who came in seventh place in a half-marathon without trying. Ludivine’s legacy has sort-of lived on thanks to an attention whore dog who crashed a World Cup cross-country skiing race in Quebec City on Sunday.

The Montreal Gazette says that during a three-man showdown at the end of the third lap, a dog we’ll call LookAtMoi McPlayWithMe ran next to the skiers and then in front of them before deciding that shit was boring and exiting the stage. That pooch was in the race for only a few seconds, but easily became the breakout star! Everyone loved the cameo appearance by an adorable race crasher, and I’m sure the skiers did too. Thinking that a dog might get in their way, causing them to fall and lose the whole race probably filled their hearts with the awwws. I’m not being sarcastic either. Anybody who has a heart that feels loves a dog crasher.

I’m mad at that dog, though. If the dog kept going, pooch would’ve easily won the race. Who cares if the dog didn’t do the whole race!? They would’ve had no choice but to give the dog first place, and then pooch would’ve eventually gone on to the Winter Olympics in South Korea next year and would’ve definitely won gold. I so wanted to see that dog get the gold medal in cross-country skiing. Thanks for crushing my dreams in seconds on National Puppy Day, short-attention-span-having dog.

Pic: @NBCOlympics

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Open Post: Hosted By Zac Efron Giving You Muscle Queen Drag

March 22, 2017 / Posted by:

The newest trailer for Baywatch is out, and it’s more bro-tastic than two muscle dudes in dropped armhole tank tops chest-bumping after a workout in a gym blasting a remix of an LMFAO song by DJ Pauly D. (Yes, that image did things to me and made my nipples shoot out a stream of Monster and vodka.)

The new trailer’s got The Rock blowing shit up, a topless Zac Efron, The Rock lifting heavy things, a topless Zac Efron, Priyanka Chopra being evil, a topless Zac Efron, one of Leonardo DiCatchAHo’s exes trying to act, and Zac Efron serving Real RoidWives of Muscle Beach by doing drag.

Jennifer Lopez better get in as many Instagram photo-ops with A-Rod while she still can. Because as soon as A-Rod sees this trailer, he’s going to bust a nut so strong and powerful that it’ll put a hole in her ceiling. And afterward, A-Rod will dump JLo and skip off to find the muscled-up dream girl in the Baywatch trailer.

Pic: YouTube

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Open Post: Hosted By Justin Bieber’s Flying Eagle Tummy Tattoo

March 21, 2017 / Posted by:

While working an armpit merkin (there’s no way he can grow hair there) and throwing a come hither look (Usher just saved that picture so fast), Justin Bieber gave his millions of Instagram followers a good look at the newest works of art on the Museum of Shitty Tattoos he calls a body.

The Biebs got a bear tattoo on his left tit, and that must be really confusing for anyone who has ever said, “I’d rather make out with a growling grizzly bear than suck on Justin Bieber’s left tit.” He also got a flying eagle inked right between his “Son Of God” and “Purpose” tattoos. The Biebs’ new tattoos tell me that if he wasn’t a multi-millionaire yodeling douche nugget, he’d probably be drinking a Natty Ice out of a paper bag while whistling at chicks from his sawed-off convertible pick-up truck in the parking lot of a Walmart. So basically, he’d be his dad.

And the Biebs also posted this video of him topless dancing with someone’s memaw:

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) on

I bet every hardcore Belieber is flooding Lindsay Lohan’s Instagram comments with questions about how to get a grandmaface quick. Because if they had that Benjamin Button’s shit, maybe Justin Bieber would actually show them some love.

Pic: Instagram

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