Category: You Didn’t Think This Through

Eddie Redmayne Says That Starring In “The Danish Girl” Was A Mistake

November 22, 2021 / Posted by:

Eddie Redmayne has been nominated for two Academy Awards for Best Actor: one for The Theory of Everything in 2015, and a year later, for The Danish Girl. Both of the roles were based on real-life people, and he won for The Theory of Everything. Well, it sounds like he’s thankful he didn’t win for The Danish Girl. Because at the very least, his performance as a real-life transwoman in The Danish Girl wasn’t immortalized forever with a little engraved statue. Six years after the film was released, Eddie is pretty confident it wasn’t the best idea for him to play that role.

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Blake Shelton’s New Song “Minimum Wage” Isn’t Going Over Well

January 4, 2021 / Posted by:

Blake Shelton is a beer-drinkin’, guitar-strummin’, ranch ownin’, truck drivin’, sexy magazine-coverin’ Okie, who also just so happens to also be a country music and reality television star. And as such, Blake Shelton has a rumored net worth of $100 million. He’s also engaged to Gwen Stefani, a woman with a rumored net worth of $150 million. Still, all those dropped Gs are part of his brand, and he released the video for his new song, called “Minimum Wage,” on New Year’s Eve. It’s a song sung by a man about his lady, who can “make a man feel rich on minimum wage.” Blake Shelton is rich and likely hasn’t seen a minimum wage paycheck since Bill Clinton was in office. To the surprise of no one, I’m sure, there has been some backlash about Blake’s broke boy cosplay.

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Nicki Minaj Posted A Video Of Herself Shouting “Walk!” At A Person In A Wheelchair

November 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Some of the industrial-strength spirit gum Nicki Minaj used to keep her dress attached to her tits must have seeped into her skin and floated through her bloodstream, because clearly something has fucked up the part of her brain responsible for making good decisions.

Shortly after Nicki hosted a Halloween party at 1-Oak in Las Vegas on Friday night, someone filmed a video of her in her skanky fairy princess costume drunkenly wandering through a hall, cackling like Salacious B. Crumb and pretending to grant wishes. Now technically, that could describe anyone on Halloween (I’m sure there’s a a video of me in a tooth fairy costume asking if anyone wants to “fill my cavities” floating around on the internet somewhere). But then Nicki spots someone using a motorized wheelchair scooter and shouts: “Walk! I command you to walk!“. Yes, the same person who scolded the internet for laughing at that Pill Cosby costume decided to make a tasteless joke at the expense of someone who couldn’t walk. No, I can’t either.

Letting a friend film you doing something dumb is about a 9 on the dumb shit to do scale, but it gets dumber. Nicki then threw the video up on Instagram. Shocking to absolutely no one, the internet responded to Nicki’s video with a massive “REALLY???“, so she yanked it down. TMZ managed to save a copy before she deleted it, which you can watch here.

I’m sure you’re thinking “This is the part where she goes on Twitter and apologizes for making fun of a disabled person, right?” Um…not exactly.

See? She wasn’t making fun of a disabled person in a scooter! She was simply making fun of her non-disabled friend. Who was using a scooter. For some reason that is never fully explained. Got it? Don’t worry, I’m sure you’ll get it once you’ve figured out what the hell “U mufuckas need some peepee” means (let me know when you get it?).

Pic: Splash

Ryan Reynolds Caught One Of His Friends Trying To Sell Pictures Of His Baby

September 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Ryan Reynolds and Blake Lively have really only released one picture of Baby James since she was born back in January (aka the one of her stuffed into a baby carrier the wrong way) and they probably wanted to keep it that way. But I guess one of Ryan’s childhood friends didn’t get the memo, because Ryan recently admitted to GQ that said friend isn’t one of his friends anymore because he caught him trying to sell pictures of his baby. When asked if his friend did it for the money (DUH!), Ryan answered:

“Yeah, just for money. I mean, I don’t think he thought he would ever be caught. But it’s a pretty narrow group of people that I would send photos like that to. They’re just, like, my closest family and my closest friends: ‘Here’s us in the delivery room!'”

“It was like a death. It was like one of those devastating things to find out.”

Obviously that friend wanted to make some extra cash more than he wanted to stay friends with Van Wilder. And it sounds like this maybe wasn’t a total surprise to Ryan. According to Ryan, his friend tried to sell the baby pictures shortly after Ryan cut him off, cash-wise. Apparently Ryan was letting him hump on his checking account, but had to cut him off (probably because Blake needed the extra money to invest in vintage mason jars and twine). And now their friendship is DEAD.

Ryan’s friend is a dum-dum for two reasons. One, it’s kind of a dick move to sell pictures of your friend’s kid, especially when your friend has been filling your wallet with his residuals from The Proposal. Two, because he didn’t need the real thing. I’m sure nobody would have questioned him if he took a doll, wrapped it in an antique linen diaper, placed it on an Antebellum-era patchwork quilt surrounded by several sprigs of hand-picked eucalyptus, taken a picture, applied 3 to 4 Instagram filters, and been like “Here, this is basically a picture of Blake Lively’s kid. Can I have some money now?

Pic: Splash

A Pennsylvania Judge Has Ruled That Sherri Shepherd Is The Mother Of Lamar Sally’s Surrogate Baby

April 21, 2015 / Posted by:

Shortly after it was announced that Sherri Shepherd was calling it quits with her questionably-employed husband of three years Lamar Sally, he ran to the press to tell them that she was also trying to wash her hands of an unborn surrogate baby. Sherri’s story was that the baby – which was made when Sherri and Lamar were still together – was only made so that sneaky gold-digging trick Lamar could get his hands on a stack of child support cash every month, and she was doing everything possible to scoot away from that mess.

Unfortunately for Sherri, it looks like Lamar’s maybe-shady plan worked, because TMZ says a Pennsylvania judge ruled earlier today that she is legally the mother of their surrogate baby, Lamar Sally Jr., who was born in Pennsylvania last August. Naturally, Lamar Sr. is thrilled with the judge’s decision, and thinks Sherri now owes him a public apology:

“I want her to go on television and apologize the same way that she went on there and accused me of being a gold digger and tricking her into having a baby.”

Go on television? He knows she’s not on TV anymore, right? Speaking of gold digging, Lamar is still going to have to wait a bit to see how much cash he’ll get from his ex-wife for his flawless money-making plan…I mean, baby. TMZ says all the child support stuff will be worked out in a court in Los Angeles at a later date.

The only thing that could have made this situation any better would be if the paternity results had been read out on Maury so we could see Lamar’s “You ARE the mother!” end-zone dance. No, really – it’s literally the only thing that could have made it better, because everything about this situation is the absolute worst.

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