The Leaving Neverland documentary has really kicked a wrench into the Michael Jackson machine. The (highly gross) allegations made against the deceased pop star have tarnished what was left of his reputation and has led to lawsuits, Drake dropping MJ samples from his set lists, radio stations dropping MJ songs, and Corey Feldman deciding not to defend him anymore.Well the steaming ball of crap rolling down shit mountain is still building, as The Simpsons showrunner, Al Jean, has some words about the Michael Jackson episode that recently got axed from their reruns, specifically that he thought Michael was using it to “groom” boys.
Hank Azaria has been the voice of Kwik-E-Mart owner Apu Nahasapeemapetilon on The Simpsons since the very first season all the way back in the olden days of 1990. Over the years, there’s been hate about Hank voicing a stereotypical Indian character and many think it’s some Mickey-Rooney-In-Breakfast-At-Tiffany’s foolery. But the hate got louder after the release of a documentary called The Problem with Apu, which was written by comedian Hari Kondabolu. The Simpsons responded in a way that should be featured in a book called How To Respond To A Controversy In The Worst Possible Way. They made Lisa Simpson be the one to basically tell everyone who has a problem with Apu to go down to the Kwik-E-Mart and get themselves some Aspirin to crush up and sprinkle on their hurt butts.
Hank was on The Late Show last night to promote his other show Brockmire, and the first thing he talked about after sitting down was how beautiful the theater is. I think that was his way of saying, “Can’t we just talk about these plush suits and that gorgeous ceiling and please, please, please not mention the name that rhymes with Achu?” But Stephen Colbert went right into how many South Asians cringe at the thought of Apu.
The Simpsons are famous for their opening couch gags. They’re usually cute and witty! Not in a post-election 2016 world. In this week’s episode, the AV Club reports that the entire family is killed except for Bart. Well, that certainly puts a period at the end of the sentence.
Homer chokes on that pesky uranium rod, Lisa’s head gets bashed in by her saxophone, and Maggie drives herself and Marge off a cliff.
Yes, that was Lisa Simpson with “her head bashed in.” That’s heartwarming. I know it’s a tough time but let’s not give into despair. Let’s light a candle rather than have Marge do the deadman’s float, Matt Groening.
Thank Jeebus! I wasn’t ready to say goodbye to Mr. Burns or Otto or Stupid Sexy Flanders just yet. Two months after he declared he was done-diddly-un with The Simpsons, Entertainment Weekly says Harry Shearer has changed his mind and has agreed to return for the 27th season.
Harry Shearer originally decided to walk away from The Simpsons and a $14 million 2-year contract because he wanted the freedom to do other work and didn’t like his cut of the merchandising dollars, but something must have changed during negotiations. My guess was that FOX threatened to release the hounds or the robotic Richard Simmons, but it sounds like it came down to money. EW says that Harry Shearer has signed the exact same contract as everyone else, which means he’s locked in for the next four years and will make more than $300,000 per episode. Each season usually has about 22 episodes, which means Harry Shearer is looking at more than $26.4 million. I hope the first word out of his mouth when he looked at that number was a Mr. Burns-style “Excellent.”
No word on whether or not he’ll see any merchandising money, but I’m sure he could always ask Fat Tony to shake down the folks at Butterfinger for a couple bucks if he really wants them.
A four year contract means a ton of money, but it also means everyone has to stick around if the writers hit the 600 episode mark and really start to run out of ideas. At least they can crawl into a giant pile of dollars in the event they sit down for a table read and see the words “The Simpsons Do…Something. Go to Mars? Buy a kangaroo? IDK” written on the top of the script.
Please feel free to join me in a dramatic tear-soaked NOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! After 26 years of voicing Ned Flanders, Mr. Burns, Mr. Smithers, Principal Skinner, Otto, Rev. Lovejoy, Dr. Hibbert, Kent Brockman, McBain, Scratchy, God, and roughly 8 billion other characters, Harry Shearer is saying smell ya later to The Simpsons. Excuse me while I dive face-first into a handful of children’s chewable Prozac.
According to CNN Money, Harry Shearer is walking away from a $14 million two-year contract because he wants the freedom to do other work (please let that “other work” be a spin-off about alien Mr. Burns). Shearer told CNN:
“In last four years, I’ve created and starred in a UK TV series and starred on London stage. Not stopping.”
The Simpsons showrunner Al Jean confirmed that Harry Shearer was leaving the show. Jean adds that they have no plans on giving his characters the Poochie treatment; they’ll replace them with other voice actors rather than killing them all off. Well DUH! If you killed off all of Harry Shearer’s characters on The Simpsons, you’d pretty much be killing off half the population of Springfield.
However, TMZ seems to think Harry Shearer quitting The Simpsons is all about money. Earlier in the week, a “source” claimed that Shearer had a problem with the part of his contract that dealt with back-end and merchandising, so he refused to sign it. I guess they never ended up working that shit out, because now he’s walking.
Well, this is a bummer. How in the hell are they going to explain that half the characters in Springfield got the New Becky treatment? More importantly, how in the heck are they going to explain this to Rod and Todd Flanders? Those poor little dorks. They’ve already lived through one parent getting re-voiced, I don’t know how they’ll handle it a second time.
UPDATE: Quick! Light a Krusty-Brand Lead Wick Faith Candle and say a prayer for the voice of Mr. Burns, because Harry might not be gone just yet. The Simpsons executive producer James L. Brooks has tweeted that they want to keep Harry around, and TMZ says that both sides are willing to re-negotiate that contract.
On last night’s episode of The Simpsons (which was supposed to be a re-run of the classic episode Bart The Lover, but that didn’t happen due to “technical difficulties“), the show paid tribute to the late Marcia Wallace, the voice of Mrs. Krabappel who is now HA!-ing at the angels in heaven, by showing a sads-stricken Bart writing the words “We’ll Really Miss You Mrs. K” on the chalkboard. Bart will probably tell your ass that he only looks weepy-eyed because that chalk kicks up a lot of dust.
The Simpsons producers Al Jean said that they will retire Mrs. K. I hope that means that in a future episode, that creepy, NOT RIGHT ho Ned Flanders will learn that Mrs. K finally realized that he’s the black widower of Springfield and was coming for her next, so she quit that bitch and is now living in London where she’s the dominatrix of choice to high-powered businessmen.
And the episode closed with this:
via Warming Glow