The Rock Would Like You To Know That He Isn’t One Of Those Celebrities Who Don’t Shower That Much

I don’t know how in armpit jelly HELL we got here, but here we are again. Actually, I do know how we got here. We owe it all to Mila Kunis and Ashton Kutcher. Here I was thinking that the worst thing they contributed to society was their ear-and-nerves-destroying Cheetos commercial, but no! Mila and Ashton got the stank ball rolling by admitting that they don’t really lather up their bodies regularly and instead give themselves a whore bath. Then we heard from other celebrities who said that they don’t shower that much either. But Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson has popped up to say that the answer to the question, “Can you smell what The Rock is cooking?”, isn’t, “Yup, smells like aged crotch cheese and hot onions.” Because The Rock says he bathes daily. In fact, he bathes three times a day. Yup, these celebrities either shower too little or too much. Can they do anything right?!

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