Category: Star Wars Shit

J.J. Abrams Has Responded To George Lucas Hating On “Star Wars: The Force Awakens”

November 22, 2019 / Posted by:

If you’re a Star Wars purist, you might be the type of person who separates the films into two categories, BC (Before Corporate Sellout) and AD (After Disney). And clearly there are some people who favor one side to the other. Me personally? I’m only interested if Baby Yoda is involved. George Lucas sold the Star Wars universe to Disney in 2012 for $4 billion, and it didn’t take him very long to start talking shit  about the first post-Disney film, Star Wars: The Force Awakens when it was released in 2015. George didn’t like it then, he still doesn’t like it now. J.J. Abrams, director and screenwriter of The Force Awakens, has had just about enough of George’s hateration and holleration in this spacery.

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Seeing Baby Yoda Brought Werner Herzog To Tears

November 19, 2019 / Posted by:

If you’ve spent any time at all on Cher’s internet this week, you’ve probably seen the Baby Yoda that makes an appearance in the pilot episode of the Disney+ Star Wars show, The Mandalorian by now. Baby Yoda is the breakout star of 2019 and his adorableness has got many grown adults all up in their feelings. That includes Wener Herzog. It turns out that in addition to Kim Kardashian’s ass, puppet babies are very much his kink (intellectually, of course). In an interview for Variety, Werner says seeing Baby Yoda on set made him cry, calling the little guy “heartbreakingly beautiful”. And please remember, despite starring in a Star Wars TV show, Werner’s never even seen a Star Wars movie before!

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Werner Herzog Has Some Surprising TV Watching Habits

November 12, 2019 / Posted by:

One might assume that famed German documentarian Werner Herzog’s tastes probably skew pretty highbrow. I mean he’s an 77-year-old award-winning filmmaker, and he has an accent! It’s not like he’s the type of guy to be staying up late at night watching WrestleMania and Keeping Up With The Kardashians. However, according to a new interview in Variety, that’s exactly the type of guy he is. Only while he’s doing it, he’s also pondering the cultural significance of the vulgarity before his eyes and measuring the impact of Kim’s ass against the fiery miasma of a world shifting meteorite as it plunges to Earth, laden as it is, in its essential molecules, with the hopes and dreams and an alien race we shall never meet. At least I think that’s what he said.

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“Game Of Thrones” Bros David Benioff and D.B. Weiss Quit Their “Star Wars” Gig

October 29, 2019 / Posted by:

The guys who shit the bed at Westeros, David Benioff and D.B. Weiss, have just stepped away from/been asked to step away from the big cushy Star Wars bed in the sky. It makes sense. Do you know how hard it is to get shit stains out of a sheet IN SPACE? According to Deadline, the Game Of Thrones showrunning duo who become more hated than season 2 King Joffrey (for non GOT fans, he was a like a less sympathetic, murderous Aaron Carter) have decided to walk away from a deal with Disney which would have had them at the helm of a Star Wars feature film trilogy. Coincidentally, the pair just participated in a GOT panel at the Austin Film Festival with disastrous results for their reputations.

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“Game Of Thrones” Fans Started A Petition To The Showrunners Fired From “Star Wars”

May 26, 2019 / Posted by:

Game of Thrones is over, so those of you who didn’t watch it can stop practicing your fake smiles and nods to use when your co-workers, still want to discuss Wormfinger and Three-Eyed Sansas and Jon Snow’s nipples to a nauseating degree. The subset of GoT fans that you could probably describe as “a little too involved”, however, are still frothing at the mouth over what they feel was a lackluster final season. Their petition to re-create season eight without the hated showrunners didn’t accomplish anything (despite 15 million signatures). So angry fans have begun a NEW petition to get David Benioff and D.B. Weiss thrown off of the planned Star Wars X so they don’t ruin the franchise. Did they not see Solo? That pretty much did it.

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George Lucas Calls Jar Jar Binks His Favorite Character

April 17, 2019 / Posted by:

George Lucas is reminding us he’s rich as hell and doesn’t have time to pander to his fans or his critics, because he has named Jar Jar Binks THAT BITCH and his favorite character in one of his favorite movies of all time. Welcome to the newest Star Wars movie called Rise Of The Troll starring George Lucas and only George Lucas. Oh, Jar Jar too, of course.

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