Rod Stewart And His Son Sean Stewart Have Pleaded Guilty To Battery

We should have known dark times were ahead when the year 2020 started off not with a bang, but with a whimper as Rod Stewart and his failed reality TV star son Sean Stewart were charged with battery for assaulting a security guard who was posted at a private children’s party they tried to crash at a resort in Palm Beach, Florida on New Year’s Eve. Now, nearly three years have passed and more than five million souls have been lost to a deadly disease that swept the globe, shaking humanity to its very core. But hark! A glimmer of hope appears on the horizon. Page Six reports that Sean and Rod have both pleaded GUILTY of simple battery, signaling an end to our collective nightmare as we know it. Yes, millions more may die, but according to Rod’s attorney, “neither man will face jail time, fines, or probation.” An early Christmas miracle? Perhaps, perhaps. Or it could just be a sign that the earth is healing and everything is as it should be. For rich people. The rest of us are still screwed. Sorry!

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Rod Stewart And Sean Stewart Were Charged With Misdemeanor Battery For An NYE Fight

The family that…acts like combative douchebags together stays together? *crickets* Look, they can’t all be winners. Rod Stewart and his ne’er do well son Sean Stewart got into a physical altercation with a security guard on New Year’s Eve and they were both charged with misdemeanor battery.

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Open Post: Hosted By The Demure Elegance Of “BatBitch”

Presenting, BatSlut, the superhero who defeats her haters by busting out some graceful poses. She’ll hit you with thirty tons of elegance and make you hit the floor by filling your nostrils with a lacy fart. I bet this is still better than Ben Affleck’s Batman and that was served without one drop of sarcasm. And hmmm, where have I seen that pose before?

Life & Style threw a Halloween party in L.A. last night, and obviously it brought out the shiniest and biggest stars in the A-list universe. “Did I stumble into the Oscars without knowing it?” is what one party ho was heard saying after they laid eyes on Natalie Nunn from the Bad Girls Club (seen above as BatBitch) and two ex-Real Housewives. Life & Style’s Halloween party wasn’t just a gathering of the finest jewels in Hollywood, it was also where Backdoor Farrah debuted her third pair of silicone titty sacks. I find it hard to believe that Backdoor Farrah just got a boob job recently, because it looks like she finally said “fuck it” and told her plastic surgeon to replace any natural parts on her body with man-made materials. Backdoor Farrah’s blow-up doll looks more natural and alive than she does.

And here’s more pictures of the party where LeAnn Rimes was the biggest “star” there.

Pics: Splash, Wenn.com

What In Down-And-Out Fly Girl Hell Is Adrienne Maloof Wearing?

Because dignity has never been a friend of Adrienne Maloof’s, she left Chateau Marmont on Saturday night looking like a former In Living Color Fly Girl who fell on hard times and put on one of her old costumes to turn tricks for plastic surgery money. I’m all for hos of all ages dressing like a ho, but this is just tragic and even her cougar camel toe looks sad. Adrienne should be hanging her head in shame for two reasons: 1) that outfit and; 2) she’s a multi-millionaire and yet the only boy toy she can get is Sean Stewart’s bloated ass.

On two positive notes. Adrienne must have a strong neck of steel, because all that Botox in her face should be weighing her head down, causing her to break. Also, Adrienne should get points in creativity for coming up with new ways to remind the world that she is the epitome of desperate.

But whatever, Adrienne shouldn’t listen to my hating ass. If you bought it, flaunt it! (I’m talking about her face, those tits and Sean Stewart).