Rod Stewart And Sean Stewart Were Charged With Misdemeanor Battery For An NYE Fight

The family that…acts like combative douchebags together stays together? *crickets* Look, they can’t all be winners. Rod Stewart and his ne’er do well son Sean Stewart got into a physical altercation with a security guard on New Year’s Eve and they were both charged with misdemeanor battery.

TMZ reports that the Stewart clan were celebrating the end of the 2010s at The Breakers Hotel in Palm Beach, Florida when a security guard told sterling example of celebrity spawn entitlement Sean that their group couldn’t enter a private event. Fun fact: it was a private event for children. So they probably weren’t offering bottle service, Sean, you big dummy.

According to the police report, obtained by TMZ, a security guard named Jessie Dixon was working a private event in the children’s area of the hotel when he saw a group trying to enter the area without authorization.

Jessie Dixon told the group they had to leave, and they allegedly got huffy and loud about it. That’s when Sean, 39, reportedly strapped his beer balls on and got nose-to-nose with the guard. Maybe he really wanted a balloon animal? Jessie was just trying to do his thankless job and put his hand on Sean’s chest and told him to back up off of him. That’s when dad Rod Stewart, 74, mind you, got feisty and tried to come to his son’s unnecessary rescue.

He says Sean then shoved him backward and then Rod got into the act and threw a punch, striking Dixon in his left rib cage area.

This is the saddest New Year’s Eve security guard drunken tussle story ever. It’s just limp. Rod didn’t even get tazed and no one is more deserving of being bodily thrown back over the velvet ropes than Sean Stewart. But no, just some lazy fisticuffs.

The police were called, and Rod explained that Dixon got argumentative with his family which apparently justifies trying to break someone’s ribs and then tried apologizing. Unfortunately, the video of the incident shows that the Stewart boys were “the primary aggressors,” according to the police.

The security guard pressed charges against Rod and his offspring, and they’re due back in Miami on Feb 5 for their arraignment. Even though it’s just a misdemeanor, you should still use your sweaters or a newspaper to cover your faces from the cameras that day because this is just pathetic, Stewarts. They probably used golf carts to transport them back to their rooms at the hotel after this sad fracas.

Pic: Instagram