The “Roseanne” Minus Roseanne Spin-Off Is Close To Being Confirmed
Roseanne Barr’s holy conscious may finally be cleared, everyone! No, not because she’s stopped being offensive, racist or crazy–that’s not what’s been keeping her up at night. Roseanne (pictured above with the one black person she knows, 8-year-old co-star, actress Jayden Rey) no longer needs to worry her pure soul about putting a bunch of wealthy Caucasian actors out of work: the Roseanne spinoff is close to confirmed!
The Hollywood Reporter heard from sources that the spinoff is moving into a new phase of confirmation after Mrs. Mein Kampf agreed to not:
“…participate financially or creatively in the proposed spinoff…”
Since Barr is responsible for originally creating the characters, she’s entitled to a monetary slice of that highly-rated, highly-lucrative television pie. And as the highest rated show of last season, that’s one BIG-OLD-motherfucking pie. We’re talking Grey’s Anatomy season three numbers, bitch. We’re talking MONEY. Currently, negotiations have focused on what kind of “go-away money” Roseanne will be getting to stay away from the series. It’s hard being Roseanne. You get fired from your highly-paying show only to be paid a shit-ton of money to stay gone? That’s tough. When I worked at a department store and called a rude customer an “evil fuck from Hell” no one offered me money to stay away.
While Middle-America is creaming themselves for the next season, it’s not totally a done deal yet as sources:
“…caution that the precarious nature of the negotiations and Barr’s volatile disposition could change the situation before a deal is closed.”
So in other words: she may launch into another racially-charged conspiracy rant at a moment’s notice, which would maybe slow negotiations.
The second revival of the show is set to revolve around Sara Gilbert as well as bring back it’s main stars John Goodman, Laurie Metcalf and everyone else who isn’t named ‘Roseanne.’ As for the star herself, who knows what she’ll do with her huge pay off and newfound free time. Perhaps she’ll write a book of Ambien-infused racist poetry?