Category: Ryan Phillippe

Ryan Phillippe Might Be Doing Demi Lovato

November 1, 2017 / Posted by:

Every time Kris Jenner wakes up, she shakes her cane at the devil wondering why she couldn’t have struck the same anti-aging deal 43-year-old Ryan Phillippe made with Beelzebub. The woman in the photo above feels the same way. Ryan’s one hot daddy, so it only makes sense he has a habit of dropping the panties of all ages – 25-year-old Demi Lovato’s apparently being the latest. Continue reading

Ryan Phillippe Responds To His Ex-Girlfriend’s Allegations By Fixing To Sue Her

September 19, 2017 / Posted by:

While he’s at it, he might also want to think about suing whoever told him those leggings were a good look, but that’s not high on the priority list right now.

Earlier we found out that Ryan Phillippe’s ex-girlfriend Elsie Hewitt filed a $1 million lawsuit against him for allegedly getting violent with her. Sources close to Ryan accused Elsie of having the cruelest of intentions, aka trying to get money. TMZ says that Ryan is preparing to fight back and has lawyered up.

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Ryan Phillippe’s Ex-Girlfriend Has Accused Him Of Assault And Is Suing Him 

September 19, 2017 / Posted by:

Time to rethink that boyfriend pillow with Ryan Phillippe’s face on it because it turns out he might be TPTMT (Too Problematic Too Masturbate To). TMZ reports that things got messier than a Porta Potty  at Coachella between Ryan and his model ex-girlfriend Elsie Hewitt. Elsie filed a lawsuit claiming that Ryan has a problem with the good/bad shit (shrooms, coke, ecstasy and roids = all the yikes) and that he physically assaulted her when she came to his house to get her shit after they broke up.

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Katy Perry And Ryan Phillippe Joked About The Rumor That They’re Dating

April 11, 2017 / Posted by:

Katy Perry and Ryan Phillippe are two famous people who didn’t really know each other, but they recently became very familiar after they started chatting on Twitter. How very high school of them, but it makes sense. Katy is a woman with the soul of an edgy teen who only looks up from her phone to roll her eyes at adults (see: her new edgy teen buzz cut), and Ryan is always getting carded.

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Ryan Phillippe Gets Mistaken For His Teen Daughter’s Brother

November 11, 2016 / Posted by:

“Oh MY Satan, me too, me too, all the time!” screeched out the fourth Kartrashian sister (in her head) Pimp Mama Kris.

Ryan Phillippe is 42 years old, but he’s still a PT (passable twink) and looks like he smears his mug with the same kind of blended fetuses that Keanu Reeves does. Because Ryan looks like he’s aaaaalmost young enough to get a special invitation to one of Bryan Singer’s pool parties, some people think he’s his 17-year-old daughter’s brother instead of her dad. Ryan was on The Late Late Show (via People) the other night and told James Corden that every time someone thinks he and his daughter Ava Phillippe are brother and sister, she gets the heaves.

“My daughter gets embarrassed sometimes by the fact that I do look so young and I get mistaken for her brother sometimes. Which repulses her! Like, absolutely repulses her that anyone could mistake me for her brother.”

For reference, here’s a picture from last year of Ava (on the left) with Laura Jeanne Poon (on the right):

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It could be a lot worse for Ava. If they didn’t look like almost twins in the face, people may say to them, “Aw, what a cute couple you too make,” and that would probably make her cringe so hard that she’d develop deep, deep wrinkles in her face and then everyone would mistake her for her dad’s mom!

Pics: Wenn.com, Getty

Ryan Phillippe Is Getting Married To His 24-Year-Old Girlfriend

December 29, 2015 / Posted by:

Well, that’s…special” thought his 16-year-old daughter.

According to UsWeekly, 41-year-old Ryan Phillippe has decided to make 24-year-old law student Paulina Slagter his second wife. A source (Hi Paulina!) says that Reese Witherspoon’s ex-husband proposed on Christmas and celebrated their engagement in Miami shortly after. Normally the news that an almost-middle-aged famous-type father of three proposed to some random model-looking 24-year-old would make me reach for my trusty Joan “judging all of this” Holloway gif, but apparently they’ve been together for four years. So…maybe it’s true love? Somewhere on the internet, that Joan Holloway gif just started judging me.

I have the memory of a not-smart goldfish (you know, the one you find tangled in the plastic tank plants at PetSmart), so my brain started typing up a bunch of question marks when I read the name “Paulina Slagter“. I thought Ryan was still with the mother of his third kid, Alexis Knapp, but that’s clearly not the case. Regardless, I do hope Paulina decides to keep her last name after they get married. First of all, any name that contains the word slag is perfect and wonderful and must not be changed in any way. Second, her name is perfect for a “Slagter? I hardly know ‘er!” joke, because really, I honestly hardly know her.

Obviously the part I should be caring about is the size of the rock currently cramping up the muscles in her ring finger, but all I can think about is how jealous I am of everyone who gets invited to Ryan and Paulina’s wedding. Ryan is on good terms with his ex-wife, which means there’s always a chance she’ll be there. And if she’s there, and there’s an open bar, there’s a very good chance they’ll all be treated to Reese’s dope drunk mom wedding dance moves.

Pic: Splash

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