Rosie O’Donnell And Whoopi Got Into A Fight During A Commercial Break On The View

We’re only two weeks into the all-new The View, and already two of the hens are ready to peck each other’s eyes out. This may be a new record for ABC! Treat yourselves to lunch at In-N-Out today, you’ve earned it. According to the Daily Mail, come-to-life pair of casual pants Rosie O’Donnell and the no-fucks-left-to-give human CROC Whoopi Goldberg got into a nasty clucking match during a commercial break on The View that ended with Whoopi busting out several $2 swears.

Rosie was discussing how she feels about spanking your children (oh here go hell come) during Hot Topics and they started to run out of time, so producers told Whoopi to cut her off and go to commercial. Rosie would have known the segment was running long if she too had been wearing an earpiece, but a source says Rosie O’Donnell don’t do earpieces! Whoopi threw some morning talk show shade by suggesting she start wearing an earpiece if she wants to know what’s going on. Once they went to commercial, Rosie grabbed the mic they use for talking to the audience and started ripping into Whoopi for cutting her off and being a shade-slinging casual comfort cunt and saying she “hurt her feelings”.

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Rosie O’Donnell Says The Casting Process For The View Was Like The Hunger Games

Before we get to the riveting story of how Rosie O’Donnell had to Katniss Everdeen her way into Barbara Walters’ old nest in the Hot Flash Henhouse, can we take a moment to ask WHAT in busted Betty Rubble hell is Rosie wearing on her feet??? They look like the uptown gayelle version of those black bandage sandals every girl who worked at Wet Seal wore in the late 90s. Do NOT want.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck’s most favorite person in the whole wide world gave an interview to Variety (via Page Six) about her return to The View, and you’d think those publicity-loving whores that run the henhouse would be practically on their knees begging for a crazy CROC-wearing hen like Rosie to return to that damn mess. But Rosie says it was actually really difficult to convince them she was still crazy enough to come back. In fact, they made all the potential chickens run the gauntlet:

“It was very much like the ‘Hunger Games,’ how they did it. I think Whoopi and I were both a little shocked at having to do a chemistry test. I don’t know if there’s a way to test that. It felt very negative and competitive.”

I just pictured an intern from The View running up behind Rosie O’Donnell at Chico’s with a casual patterned scarf soaked in ether and pushing her into a white windowless van containing a confused Rosie Perez and Nicole Wallace. Cut to a group of ABC executives watching a closed circuit television feed from inside an abandoned Coldwater Creek outlet store as their potential candidates circle Sherri Shepherd and Jenny McCarthy like hungry sharks. All of a sudden, Whoopi’s voice can be heard over the PA announcing “Sherri, you in danger girl” as Rosie approaches her from behind with a shiv carved from the heel strap of a CROC clutched between her teeth while the other Rosie tries to distract Jenny by busting out some sweet dance moves.

All while Debbie Matenopoulos is outside banging her fists against the window screaming “I volunteer as tribute! I volunteer as tribute! Please take me back! I’ll do anything!“

So Does This Mean We’re All Going To Hate Rosie Perez Soon?

Rosie Perez has always been my favorite Rosie because she perfectly played an exquisitely tacky gold digger in It Could Happen To You, so when I read on Deadline yesterday that she’s moving into the pecking hen coop on The View, I thought to myself, “Well, I’ll always have ‘Why don’t you just give her ALL the money?‘”

Because if The View is good at one thing, it’s good at completely ruining your favorites. Deadline reported yesterday that, as excepted, Republican strategist, political commentator and l-hoarder Nicolle Wallace (aka “the kindler, gentler, smarter and more pleasant Elisabeth Hasselcrack,” which isn’t saying much since a urethra wart is more pleasant that Hasselcrack) is joining Whoopi and Rosie O’Donnell at the round battlefield. It was rumored that the fourth spot was going to football wife October Gonzalez, but apparently ABC didn’t think she was experienced enough. So the job went to Rosie Perez and her D’s, motherfucker, D’s. Continue reading

Rosie O’Donnell And Whoopi Goldberg Tag-Teamed S.E. Cupp During Her Audition For The View

The producers of The View held “chemistry tests” on the set of The Chew yesterday to find out which two women will be torn to shreds by Rosie O’Donnell and Whoopi when that mess comes back in the fall. Apparently, at least 9 finalists got 15 minutes to talk (read: scream, fight and holler) with Rosie and Whoopi about current events during the Hot Topic segment that was taped in front of an audience. Everything went fine until conservative political commenter S. E. Cupp (I think I’ve worn one of those before) sat at the table and the subject of abortion came up. S.E. Cupp can now shit twice as fast, because Rosie O’Donnell chewed her a new asshole. (May that visual tuck you into your dreams tonight.)

Radar says that shit got real when Rosie, Whoopi, S.E. Cupp and another finalist Sunny Hostin were talking about the story of the Australian couple who wanted their Thai surrogate to abort one of their twins who has Down Syndrome.

“They were talking about the difficult decision families have to make. And S.E. said she thought it was ridiculous that abortion has become so easy. And Rosie and Whoopi pounced!” noted the source of what turned into a verbal melee.

“Rosie and Whoopi ganged up S.E. and just went after her. Rosie told her, ‘You’re just rattling off Republican talking points. That’s not what we need,’” recalled the source.

Rosie apparently screamed that she doesn’t want another Elisabeth Hasselcrack and kept dragging S.E. Cupp. S.E.Cupp said she was just giving her opinion, but Rosie kept on and on and asked her how old she was. The train wreck became an even bigger train wreck when Whoopi asked the audience if any of them ever had to decide whether to abort a fetus or not. That was the producer’s cue to end the segment.

TMZ says that afterward, Whoopi bitched to the producers about Barbara Walter’s old ass:

After the taping … Whoopi — in front of producers and several potential replacement hosts — said she’d been “working with a cranky 85-year-old woman who’s mad about everything for 2 years, and I need a break.”

According to Deadline, S.E. Cupp didn’t get the job. Nicolle Wallace, political commenter and the senior advisor for the McCain-Palin campaign (Sarah Paulson played her in Game Change), and October Gonzalez, wife of NFL player Tony Gonzalez, are the frontrunners and will most likely join the coop of pecking hens in the fall.

I think Deadline’s wrong. I bet S.E. Cupp gets a spot. While Rosie sunk her teeth into S.E. Cupp’s leg and Whoopi grabbed her hair and they started to tear her body apart, the producers called legal to tell them to draw up her contract and then they jacked off while thinking about all the ratings they’re going to get.

It Never Ends: Joy Behar Comments On Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s Comments About Rosie’s Return To The View

Because one hen from The View can’t open her beak without the rest of them trying to squawk louder than the rest of the chickens, Joy Behar went on CNN to talk about Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s mid-vacation phone call to Fox & Friends where she cried about how Rosie O’Donnell’s return to The View is an insult to America. It’s like the angry poultry version of Inception. Joy told CNN’s Don Lemon that Elisabeth’s comment about Rosie spitting in the face of the military was “a hate-filled remark”, adding:

“I thought that was really kind of below the belt—to say that she spits in the face of the military. I’d like Elisabeth to explain herself, really. What does she mean by that? Isn’t it kind of a nasty thing to say about somebody who basically is a good person? I mean, say what you want about Rosie O’Donnell, she’s a very generous person, she has a million kids, she’s always rescuing children—I mean, she has more kids than Mrs. Duggar at this point on her roster. Her son is at The Citadel—what more does Elisabeth want?”

“To say that she spits in the face of the military, that’s a dangerous thing to say about somebody. First of all, it’s not true. I would like her to prove it. Everything is fiction on Fox anyway, what am I talking about?”

Who would have thought that sending two slow chickens to the Tyson factory would get so much attention? I mean, first Elisabeth Hasselbeck drops whatever she was doing at The Holy Land Experience (probably waiting in line to get her picture taken with Jesus for the 3rd time that day) to throw shade at Rosie O’Donnell for filling the two vacant spots left by mouth breathers Jenny McCarthy and Sherri Shepherd. Then Joy goes on CNN to throw shade at Elisabeth. Then Rosie throws shade at Elisabeth on Twitter. Next thing you know Lisa Ling will be calling in to Al Jazeera to throw shade at Joy, Meredith Vieira will throw shade at Lisa to Matt Lauer on Today, and Debbie Matenopoulos will throw shade at Meredith from the futon in her Rancho Cucamonga studio apartment.

via UsWeekly

The News Of Rosie O’Donnell Re-Joining The View Ruined Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s Vacation

If you were looking for a reason to be happy about Rosie O’Donnell going back to The View again, you found it. The news ruined Elisabeth Hasselcrack’s vacation and anything that ruins that rabid blonde hyena’s day can’t be wrong.

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is where she belongs, Fox News, and you’d think she wouldn’t have a care in the world since she’s frolicking around a conservative wonderland where’s she a Republican Christian princess who can make the people cheer by screaming for the demise of Obama and drunk moms. Elisabeth is living her dream, so why would give two shits about The View? But she does and she pressed pause on her vacation from Fox & Friends to call into her show and diarrhea out her feelings about her arch rival going back to The View and the she has a lot of feelings about it. Elisabeth says that Rosie has been planning her return to The View for a while and when all the pecking hens of The View, past and present, reunited for one of Barbara Walters’ last shows, Rosie told her that she organized the reunion. Elisabeth thinks that the reunion show wasn’t a “Bye Barbara” show it was a “Hello Rosie” show. HA. As Hasselcrack trashed Rosie over and over again, she clenched so hard that her ass cheeks almost fused themselves together.

“What could ruin a vacation more than to hear news like this? I know Rosie very well. We worked quite closely. Talk about not securing the border! Here in comes to The View the very woman who spit in the face of our military, spit in the face of her own network, and really in the face of a person who stood by her and had civilized debates for the time that she was there, coming back with a bunch of control ready to regain a seat at the View table. Not surprising. I think this has been in the works for a long time.

Anyone who is going to be in that seat – I think this is how it’s going to play out or already has – will have to be fully approved by Rosie. Now let’s not forget, Whoopi Goldberg is sitting there and Whoopi’s not going to let anybody control her. Whoopi has an EGOT and has more trophies in her case than Rosie. She’s the leader. It will be very interesting to see how that goes. I don’t think it would be wise for Rosie O’Donnell to challenge Whoopi Goldberg on anything. I really don’t. And I would also say that after years of being there, Rosie found out one thing about me: don’t mess with a pregnant mama and do not mess with our military when it comes to this girl sitting next to her. I do think this has been in the works a long, long time.”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Put an empty plastic water bottle under Elisabeth’s eyes and collect her angry tears, because her angry tears will make a good pick-me-up for when you’re feeling low. Elisabeth is really, really mad and she’s acting like her bitch brawl of words with Rosie happened ten minutes ago instead of ten thousand years ago. No one loves anything as much as Elisabeth loves hating on Rosie. I do feel a little sexual tension there. It’s as though Elisabeth gets off on raging against Rosie. Elisabeth’s husband was probably wondering why during the times he’s given her oral, she always screams through grit teeth, “That’s right, eat it, Rosie, eat it! Eat it, you dumb bitch! Eat it, Rosie! EAT IT! This is for our military! EAT IT!”  It all makes sense now.

via UsWeekly