The Feud Of Our Time: Phoebe Price v. Sarah From “Charles In Charge”

We can finally move on from the stupid Taylor Swift v. Kimye battle, because there’s a new and more important feud to focus on and this one involves way hotter stars!

Dlisted Patron Saint and the international supermodel who is solely responsible for keeping the paparazzi industry alive has sharpened her chicken cutlet cheeks and is ready to cut a bitch for messing with her and her mom. Phoebe Price has come for actress Josie Davis (from Charles In Charge and Titans) for taking and posting the above picture on Instagram of PP wearing one of your church outfits while pushing her mother, Flora, in a wheelchair. Josie added the caption, “Here goes the neighborhood,” and well, there goes Josie’s career, because the Queen of Hollywood will ruin her!

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Open Post: Hosted By An Important Ginger-American Tramping 4 Trump

Nearly ever national holiday, the hardest-working supermodel on the ho stroll and beyond, Phoebe Price, keeps the economy rolling along by putting on a designer bikini (hey, Walmart is one of America’s premiere fashion houses) and flashing her roasted and freckled Cornish game hens for the cameras. This past Memorial Day was no exception, and while many of us lazy bitches spent the afternoon sunning ourselves on our mom’s driveway while boozing it up with help from a wine can helmet, Chicken Cutlets actually did hard work on the beach in Malibu.

Since it’s election season, PP made her Memorial Day photo shoot so topical by posing with an official Trump sign that totally wasn’t thrown together in the car using an old pen and paper mats from the car wash. Does this mean that Jabba the Trump has won the highly coveted ginger poultry demographic and PP is officially endorsing him? Or is she just trolling for attention, which would be surprising since she never does that. Or is this a performance art piece and she’s showing us that she farts and queefs on Trump? Or is PP secretly working to destroy Trump and she’s hoping that she’ll seduce her way into his life with this hot photo shoot and then take him down from the inside? Just call her Ginger Hari. Yeah, it’s probably the last one and I totally just gave away her plan.

Pics: Wenn.com

So, Disney Finally Got Around To Planning A Live-Action “The Little Mermaid” Movie

Disney has done two live-action Alice in Wonderland movies, a live-action Maleficent movie, a live-action Cinderella movie, a live-action The Jungle Book movie, and their live-action Beauty and the Beast movie comes out next year. They’re also working on live-action movies about Tinker Bell, Mulan, Aladdin and Cruella de Vil, as well as sequels to Maleficent and The Jungle Book. They’re running out of live-action movies to do and it’s only a matter of time before they stuff Andy Serkis into a Simba costume for their live-action version of The Lion King. But before they do that, they’re going to explore the possiblity of live-actioning The Little Mermaid. And by “explore” I mean try to come up with ways to femme-up Michael Phelps so he can play Ariel since he’s the only human fish who can do the swimming scenes.

Deadline says that because The Jungle Book has made $860 million worldwide so far, the head bitches at Disney are looking to do even more live-action movies of their animated classics. Disney execs were reportedly pitched a “new take” on The Little Mermaid and they’re talking to major producers about whether or not they should move forward with that idea. Um, don’t those executives know that we’ve already seen a “new take” on The Little Mermaid. It’s called fucking Splash.

Universal is working on their own Little Mermaid movie starring Chloe Grace Moretz.

If Disney goes through with a live-action Little Mermaid movie, the underwater scenes are going to be so CGI’d that it’s going to look about as real as a Kim Kartrashian Instagram picture. Shit, it’ll probably look less life-like than the animated movie it’s based on. But I am all for it if they cast Jon Hamm in the iconic role of the horny priest:

And this goes without typing, but here are old pictures of my choice for Ariel posing with Ana Braga:

Pics: Disney, Wenn.com

Brace Yourself For Almost 7 Minutes Of Raw Chicken Emotion And Free-Range Acting!

Nearly every week some severely uneducated child e-mails me to ask what exactly does Phoebe Price do. I always tell them that they obviously haven’t taken an AP U.S. history course and should do so immediately, because that course covers everything that highly important American Chicken Cutlets has done. PP is an international supermodel, a chickentarian, a visual definition of hormone-free beauty, Dlisted’s forever reigning Hot Babe of the Year, a global (see: the Valley, and probably the Valley only) hat designer and more importantly an actress!

PP earned an Oscar for Best Extra (in my head) when she stole the show as window shopper #2 in the Get Smart remake, and now she’s back to show the thespians of the planet how to truly command a scene. In the web series Hollyweird!, the most underrated actress of this generation, Phoebe Price, plays the most underrated human of this generation, Phoebe Price, alongside Moira Cue.  Some acting types say that it’s all in the eyes, but they’re wrong. It’s obviously all in the cheeks!

Truthfully, I could only watch about 45 seconds of that, and only because I could no longer hold onto my chair as PP’s high-powered acting knocked me over! And here’s some pictures from last February I never posted of PP, Frenchy from Rock of Love 2 and The Porn Iguana’s seance partner acting out an ultra dramatic reboot of the Life Alert’s “Ah’ve Fallen And Ah Can’t Get Up” commercial on the stage of the Ho Stroll Theater.

Pics: Wenn.com

Happy Easter From Chicken Cutlets, Henry The Dog And A Sprung Bunny!

I am very thankful that Jesus Christ sacrificed himself for us, because if he never did, we wouldn’t have these gorgeous pictures of ginger angel and saint Phoebe Price bending over and showing off her grass-fed, raw whole chicken ass for the paps at The Grove in West Hollywood the other day.

While dressed like some slutty Morticia Addams on several kinds of acid, PP also posed with her dog friend Henry (whose “Why me?” face seems to be permanent) next to the Easter Bunny whose crotch carrot wants to plant itself in her ginger fields. Little Bunny Foo Foo’s peen wants to hop on over to PP’s patch.

Since all of us at Dlisted are extremely religious and will be spending our Easter Sunday praying (read: getting plastered) while worshiping our God (read: vodka) in church (read: on the couch in front of a TV playing a Fixer Up marathon), we’re taking the rest of the day off and will be back tomorrow. That’s if I don’t get arrested at Walgreens for elbowing a trick in the froat while fighting over 50% off Cadbury Creme Eggs at midnight.

Pics: Splash

Let’s Try This Again… Please Welcome Dlisted’s New Weekend Writer!

As I said in Night Crumbs last week, Carla sadly didn’t work out as Dlisted’s weekend provider of foolery. Her reign was short and sweet and I loved everything she did here. Now I’d like to introduce to our new weekend writer. I know, I’m like a slutty parent introducing his kids to a new “uncle.”

Once again, Dlisted’s newest weekend writer isn’t Phoebe Price. Chicken Cutlets has much more important contributions to civilization to make, like posing for extremely excited paps (see: the ones behind her) in a custom Armani Privé couture ensemble (or a clearance bin Frederick’s of Hollywood catsuit, funeral curtains, a Maidenform bra and Capezio chonies).

Dlisted’s newest weekend writer is Martin! Martin is from New York and may be weirder than me. The other day, both of our dogs were suffering from the wet shits at the same time, so we bonded over that on IM. I know, you really needed that information in your brain today. But anyway, Martin will handle the weekends while I’m off doing weekend shit. Like today, I’m going to go through my closet and donate anything I can’t fit into anymore. So basically, later tonight, a drunken me will be crying on a giant pile of reminders of a skinnier me as my bare closet has 3 things hanging in it.

Martin may need a minute to get comfortable in this house of messiness, so bear with us as we figure shit out (although, I’ve been doing this for a long time and I’m still figuring shit out). And now I leave you with these gorgeous pictures of PP paying homage to the fame whores of yore by busting out an “accidental” crotch slip in front of the paps. I know you’ll be having fried chicken skins for lunch.

Pics: Splash