Category: Pageant Drama

SCANDAL Followed Miss USA To The Miss Universe Pageant

January 16, 2023 / Posted by:

In October of last year, SCANDAL rocked the Miss USA pageant as Miss Texas, R’Bonney Gabriel, was crowned the winner amid accusations that the competition had been rigged in her favor. As a result, Crystle Stewart (a former Miss Texas herself) was suspended as the head of the Miss USA organization and an internal investigation was launched. Simultaneously, JKN Global, a Thai multinational corporation, acquired Miss Universe for $20 million. And for a time, it seemed, all had been forgotten, if not forgiven, as the newly crowned Miss USA boarded a rocket ship to the moon (by way of a convention center in New Orleans) to represent her country in last night’s Miss Universe pageant. However, it soon became clear that R’Bonney’s ship had a stowaway, as insidious as a virus and powerful enough to engulf the entire universe in its gaping maw.

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The Head Of The Miss USA Pageant Has Been Suspended Amidst Allegations That The Competition Was Rigged

October 27, 2022 / Posted by:

Another day, another one of Donald Trump‘s legacies is against the ropes. Earlier this month, folks who tuned into the FYI network early to catch Rachel Ray’s Italian Dream Home were treated to the tail-end of the Miss USA pageant and watched in slack-jawed awe as Miss Texas R’Bonney Gabriel was crowned the winner. Not because it’s surprising that R’Bonney is a real name somebody gave their child, but because the other contestants could be seen walking off the stage in protest behind her instead of sending the one with the sturdiest wrist muscles (usually Miss Ohio) to march up there and snatch the crown right off old R’Bonney’s weave.

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The Internet Has Discovered That Ellie Kemper Was Crowned The 1999 Queen Of A Ball Linked To White Supremacy

June 1, 2021 / Posted by:

You may know Ellie Kemper as Erin from The Office, or as the titular unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt, or even one of Jon Hamm’s former high school drama class students. But the internet just discovered that she was the Queen of Love and Beauty of the 1999 Veiled Prophet Ball. And it’s probably one that she really didn’t want anyone to be adding, due to the fact that the Veiled Prophet Ball is a little KKK-adjacent. To think, just 48 hours ago, the weirdest little-known fact about Ellie Kemper was that her family is insanely wealthy.

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Miss Papua New Guinea Got Stripped Of Her Title After Posting A Twerking Video On TikTok

April 10, 2021 / Posted by:

Fresh off from Mrs. World getting arrested for snatching Mrs. Sri Lanka’s crown comes some more pageant drama. And this one involves Miss Papua New Guinea, Lucy Maino, losing her crown over a G-rated twerking video that she posted on TikTok. Who knew that in 2021 we’d get a reboot of Vanessa Williams getting stripped of her Miss America crown over Penthouse publishing nude pictures of her that were taken before her reign?

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Mrs. World And Her Friend Were Arrested For Stealing Mrs. Sri Lanka’s Crown

April 8, 2021 / Posted by:

Yesterday I gave the controversial score of 6.8 to the Mrs. Sri Lanka 2020 crown snatching but I may have to revise that considering that while the snatch itself was lackluster, it has since become AN INTERNATIONAL INCIDENT. According to E! News, both Mrs. World Caroline Jurie, the instigator of the snatch, and her accomplice, who has been identified as “2006 model of the worldChula Padmendra, were both arrested and charged with “simple hurt and criminal cause.” They’ve both been released on bail but the brouhaha their hi-jinks caused has forced me to adjust their overall score to a 7.1, thanks in no small part to snatchee Pushpika De Silva’s unwavering thirst for revenge.

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Mrs. Sri Lanka Had Her Crown Snatched By The Reigning Mrs. World

April 7, 2021 / Posted by:

I don’t think we’ll ever see a beauty queen crown snatching to rival The Snatch Heard Round the World from the 2009 Miss Brazil Gay pageant. It was perfect in every way. The execution — flawless. The reaction — high camp. The aftermath — chaotic. Nevertheless, an attempt was made. People reports that what was described as a “tense situation” went down after Pushpika De Silva was crowned Mrs. Sri Lanka 2020. After carefully placing and pinning in Pushpika’s crown, the pageant’s previous winner, Mrs. Sri Lanka 2019 (and reigning Mrs. World) Caroline Jurie, had a sudden change of heart, grabbed a mic, and announced that Pushnika was ineligible because she is *GASP* divorced! Caroline then took it upon herself to remove Pushpika’s crown and place it on the head of the first runner-up. Sadly, no wigs were disturbed during the de-crowning, but at least Pushpika later claimed on Facebook to have sustained “injuries to [her] skull” and threatened legal action. So overall, I give it a 6.8/10.

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