From Ice Princess To Meth Queen

Figure skater Nicole Bobek, a former U.S. Champion, was busted in New Jersey for her role in a major New Jersey meth ring! Hmmm… Nope, Tonya Harding still holds the crown as the biggest piece of hot trash who used to be a figure skater. But nice try, Nicole.

The New York Daily News reports that BoBo (I’m sure that was her dealer name) was arrested in Jupiter, FL last week and brought to New Jersey to faces charges for conspiracy to distribute methamphetamine. Nicole pleaded not guilty and is currently sitting in a cell on $200,000 bail.

The prosecutor handling the case said BoBo “played a significant role in this operation. She was actively involved in the upper echelon of this ring.” If found guilty, Nicole could get up to 10 years in the chokey.

If Nicole goes to the clink, she should just tell the butchies that she once licked on Tonya Harding’s pulled pork sandwich. That bit of information should keep the snatches off of her for a while. Or maybe that will turn them on even more….

Puppy! Puppy! Puuuuuuuppy!

That puppy’s eyes are broadcasting to anyone who will listen: “This hag is either going to eat me or trade me in for a speedball. Save. Me.” And that puppeh has every reason to be afraid. I mean, what crack house toilet did Mischa Barton crawl out of? I’m all for the 4-day-old eye make-up look, but Mischa is not wearing it well. The world already has one Courtney Love.

Here’s the girl from The Sixth Sense terrorizing puppies at the opening of Harrods’ summer sale in London yesterday.

Put Your TV Brother To The Test

Evan Rachel Wood and Shane West played siblings on Once & Again and now they are bumping fuck parts. Cut to Sela Ward giving them a shank eye.

Last night, Evan and Shane left Bardot in West Hollywood holding each other’s hands. This is a bizarre coupling, right?. If they didn’t know each other from the past, I’d guess their drug dealer set them up. Evan looks like a rejected extra from the Chicago movie and Shane looks like he’s been keeping busy giving hand jobs for crank money on Santa Monica Blvd. The two don’t go.

That being said, a day shift gay hustler with a rock hard methface is still better than Marilyn Manson.

She’s Not There For The Meat, She’s There For The Puss!

Peta’s main hooker, Pamela Anderson, has been booked to bring her skankness to the opening of a strip club in NYC. A strip club that is also a steakhouse. A steakhouse serves meat. Meat comes from slaughtered cows. Pamela claims to get sad in the face when a cow gets it. Oh well, IN THIS ECONOMY, a bitch has got to do what a bitch has got to do to make money to buy her UGGS…which are made out of sheepskin. Pamela puts the HO in phony.

Peta quickly issued a statement to TMZ defending their biggest prosty:

“Pam is not a host but may be attending as an invited guest, and since steakhouses nowadays have some of the best salad bars and veggie options around, we’re sure she’ll find plenty to eat should she attend.”

Oh, Peta. Don’t shove a big piece of tofu in my mouth and call it juicy steak. It doesn’t really bother me that Pam is whoring herself out at meat market, but I don’t know if it’s a match. I mean, do they really want their steakhouse associated with a giant chunk of rotten beef? Pam is not USDA-approved.

I know I’m gayer than one of Adam Lambert’s dingles, but do dudes really like their pussy with a side of juicy beef. I like surf and turf, but not like this! I guess when you order medium rare beef curtains you have to be specific!

And how long do you think it will take until Heather Mills becomes a featured entertainer at this joint?

Does Survivor Have A Line Of Shoes Out?

Because that shit on Mischa Barton’s feet looks like the fake hidden immunity idol Taj made a few episodes back! Throw it into the fire, Jeff! Speaking of Survivor, Mischa looks like she’s been on exile island for a few weeks. That’s the face of a ho who has been nibbling on sand and drinking swamp water on a regular basis.

Here’s more of Mischa and her tiki shoes at an event for Herbal Essence in Milan today. That’s kind of ironic, because bitch needs to start putting some herbal essence in her pipe instead of that meth shit.

Cacalicious

Some bitch dropped a wet caca on Fuggie’s hair and she debuted the new look last night at the March of Dimes’ Beauty Ball in NYC last night. More like the Doody Ball.

The new hair still doesn’t wash out the meth from her face. In fact it makes her look even more like she’s going to give you a poison apple while cackling.

If Cher got caught in a meth lab explosion, this is what she would look like after. Seriously, the diarrhea brown might look better if it was curly or some shit. The straight hair looks like two curtains framing her face. And Fuggie’s face should never be the star of the show.