Category: God’s Plan
Scott Disick And Sofia Richie Aren’t Broken Up After All
Lovers of love, rejoice! True Love Everlasting is real, despite evidence to the contrary. Scott Disick’s canoodle sesh with a mystery woman at Kanye’s album release party is water under the bridge. He and Sofia Richie are back together as nature intended. In fact, they never even broke up in the first place. That lady at the party was just a friend. Plus, Scott had a little too much to drink. Scott and Sofia’s love is too strong to let a little harmless over the pants stuff get in the way of their destiny.
Jeremy Meeks And Chloe Green May Be Planning A Shotgun Wedding In Miami
Prince Harry and Meghan Markle might want to consider moving the date up for their big wedding before American royalty (yes, we deserve this and you know it), Prison Bae Jeremy Meeks, and British commoner Chloe Green steal their thunder. The Daily Star reports that Jeremy and Chloe are ready to walk down the aisle as soon as possible because pregnant Chloe doesn’t want to “give birth unmarried”. The wedding could be as soon as April, never mind the fact that Jeremy isn’t officially divorced from his wife Melissa Meeks yet.
Elon Musk’s Super Creepy Dad Had A Baby With His Stepdaughter
If Elon Musk sometimes comes off as a little creepy and intense, he’s actually as easy-breezy as Tom Hanks compared to his pops Errol Musk who Page Six reports had a baby with his stepdaughter, Jana Bezuidenhout. Errol married Jana’s mom when Jana was 4 years old and they now have a 10 month old baby named Elliott. Errol is 72, Jana is 30. As Errol was awarded his bronze medal in the Creep Olympics (Fucked Up Family Tree division) he called baby Elliot an “exquisite child” and said it was “God’s Plan”. Neither God or Drake approve of this message.
Hannibal Buress Had His Set Cut Short At Loyola For Making Catholic Priest Jokes
Over the weekend, Hannibal Buress had his mic cut off during a comedy set at Loyola University Chicago. According to Consequence of Sound, he’d been on stage for less than 5 minutes before the powers that be decided to pull the plug on the comedian for telling off color jokes about child molestation in the Catholic Church. LUC is a catholic university you see, and they told Hannibal upfront they weren’t going to allow their young, impressionable students be tainted by his filth flying filth. So what’s Hannibal do? He leads with a joke about child diddling priests.
Drake’s Big Giveaway Video For “God’s Plan” Has Arrived
Drake finally put all those goods deeds to music and despite that music, I’m not mad. Apparently Drake and Co donated almost $1 million to regular everyday people in Miami. Outside of the grocery store stunt, the novelty check and the Saks Fifth Ave shopping spree, Drake also surprised a number of very happy people with stacks of cash. Plus a whole lot of other gifting that doesn’t look at all cringy when cut together. Plus, apparently Miami fucking loves Drake! One lady literally fell out when he sidled up to her on a curb.
Here’s the video
I screamed when I saw my girl Odalie at 3:58 looking impassive as hell. She must not drive because Drake was giving out a whole lot of whips with red bows on top. Oprah better watch out, Drake’s coming for her with his car giveaways! The video reads like an earnest love letter to the people of Miami, and who but the grinciest of grinches could be unmoved by a kids’ ice truck dance party. I’ll take three scoops of Antonio Brown, please. Well played Drake, you win this round.
Pic: YouTube