If what you want, what you really, really want is some Spice Girls lesbian fanfiction come-to-life, Scary Spice has you covered. Because The Sun says that Mel B claims that she and Geri Halliwell bumped spice snatches once.
Mel B was doing an interview with human hemorrhoid, Piers Morgan, for his show Piers Morgan’s Life Stories. While speaking with Piers, Mel decided she would get some more publicity going for her upcoming summer Spice Girls reunion (minus Posh Spice) tour, and so she spilled a sexual secret: her and Geri once got it on.
Now this was a secret-secret: Mel didn’t even write about it in her new memoir Brutally Honest. Here’s how it all went down:
Piers: “There were rumours you and Geri were more than just good friends. You had a little dabble? Anything you want to share with the group?”
Mel: (Long silence).
Piers: “No denial?”
Mel: “She had great boobs.”
Piers: “So you did?”
Mel: “Well, not really . . .”
Piers: “Well, you clearly did, right? Yes?… Your book is called Brutally Honest and you are coming here to be brutally honest? Did you or didn’t you with Geri Halliwell?”
Mel: “Well, what do you consider as doing it or not?”
Piers: “Did you sleep with her?”
Mel: “Yeah, we all slept in a bed together but not ‘like that’ all of us.”
Piers: “Did you sleep with Geri ‘like that’?”
Mel: (nods and smiles).
Piers: “Yes? Really?”
Mel: “She’s going to hate me for this because she’s all posh in her country house and her husband. But it’s a fact. It just happened and we just giggled at it and that was it… We were best friends. It just happened. Have you ever done that?”
Piers called it a “Spice Girls bombshell” but I think it’s more like “Piers Morgan’s new fap material.” Apparently this all went down in the early 1990s when the Spice Girls just formed and moved into a shared house in Maidenhead. Okay, so when do we find out that Nick Carter raw-dogged Brian Littrell?
Mel B immediately was like, “Oh damn, what did I do?” and even vocalized as much on the show:
“Yeah and I’ve said it now. All done. She’s going to kill me and so’s her husband. She’s not that posh now, is she?”
And Geri might kill her. Sources are claiming that after the show, Mel started calling Geri to explain what she’d done. Apparently Geri’s husband, Christian Horner, is “unlikely to appreciate” the revelation of the Scary-on-Ginger sexcapade. Mel C was in the audience and a source said she also was throwing up some serious WTF vibes:
“The girls all know Mel struggles to keep her mouth shut but Mel C who was in the audience was visibly horrified when it all came out… The tour is just two months’ away they don’t want anything jeopardising it, but there were real fears this would upset Geri’s husband and cause serious issues… Since marrying Christian, Geri has worked hard to shake off her old playgirl image and sort of reinvent herself as this perfect Stepford Wife. Mel immediately rang Geri to try to repair the damage.”
Here’s hoping this doesn’t affect the tour. Both for Spice Girls fans and also for the Spice Girls themselves. They’re supposed to earn £418,000 per show (that’s $552,449.28 American dollars) totalling £2.2 million ($2,907,627.80 American dollars) for the short tour. Imagine screwing up a bag that stacked with cash just to blab about dipping into the lady pool in the 1990s? Here’s hoping Christian was into it and asks Scary to join them for a threesome. Hey, Stepford families get it on too.