Robin Roberts Publicly Comes Out As A Gayelle

For those of us who keep up with the adventures of Robin Roberts’ personal life, the news that she’s a gayelle and has had the same girlfriend for centuries is about as surprising and new as the news that John Travolta’s Scientolohole loves to eat massage therapist dick. But Robin officially twirled out of the glass closet yesterday when she mentioned her partner of 10 years, Amber Laign, in a Facebook post where she reflected on the year she’s had. Robin returned to Good Morning America earlier this year after she took a leave of absence to have a bone marrow transplant.

Flashback 12/29/12….Hard to believe this was 1 year ago today..when I reached a critical milestone of 100 days post transplant…and KJ was finally allowed to come back home.

Reading this comforts me and I hope the same for you: “If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present.” At this moment I am at peace and filled with joy and gratitude. I am grateful to God, my doctors and nurses for my restored good health. I am grateful for my sister, Sally-Ann, for being my donor and giving me the gift of life. I am grateful for my entire family, my long time girlfriend, Amber, and friends as we prepare to celebrate a glorious new year together. I am grateful for the many prayers and well wishes for my recovery. I return every one of them to you 100 fold.

On this last Sunday of 2013 I encourage you to reflect on what you are grateful for too.

Wishing you a Healthy and Happy New Year.

Peace, love, and blessings to all..XO

Congrats to Robin! The official Queen of all Lesbians, Rojo Caliente, will send her a welcome basket in the mail. And now that Robin Roberts is publicly  OUT out, we can grab the baton from her hand, open the closet door and wave it at Queen Latifah.

Cue The Hallelujah Chorus! Here’s Some Good News About The Kardashians

Mark it on the calendar! Today is the day my heart grew 3 sizes too-big and my faith in humanity has been restored!! Who knew a story about the Kardashians would get me so drunk off jubilant happiness. Wait, what is this salty discharge coming from my eyes? Are these tears? Oh my god, I’m crying tears of happiness. Hashtag Blessed.

We should all be sending a muffin basket to Richard Johnson of Page Six today, because he’s reporting it’s time to take the over-cooked turkey we call the Kardashians out of the oven, because it looks like THEY’RE DONE:

“It’s over. The fatigue factor has really set in,” one magazine publisher told me. “None of the Kardashians, either alone or together, is selling.”

Sources say Jann Wenner paid $110,000 for a heavily retouched photo of Kim Kardashian in a white bikini, which he splashed on the Dec. 23 cover of Us Weekly under the headline, “My Body Is Back.”

But the glossy, which usually sells about a half million a week, sold fewer than 400,000 copies, an insider with access to circulation reports told me.

It’s not just Us Weekly: In Touch, Life & Style, and Star also see a major drop in sales when they put a Kardashian on the kover. The only Kardashian covers to see a spike in sales are I Hate Myself Weekly and Dumpy Famewhores, but those magazines have a limited circulation in the 7th Circle of Hell, so they don’t count.

It turns out our love affair with America’s PrinceAsses wasn’t meant to last as longer than Khole’s spanx (two hours and they’re just destroyed beyond belief) and there are a couple theories why:

“I think it’s because Kanye West is so nasty and aggressive. People don’t like him,” the publisher said. “It’s rubbed off on Kim. It’s rubbed off on the whole family.”

Marc Berman of TV Media Insights had a different explanation for why ratings of E!’s “Keeping Up With the Kardashians” and its various spinoffs have sunk.

“It’s simple — overkill,” Berman said. “The Kardashians are everywhere. They never take a break.”

Overkill might be too gentle a word; Kris threw out every bottle of lube and let Kim, Kanye, Khloe, and the Sock One dry fuck us hard with their existence, and only took breaks to do botox shots with Satan.

Here’s more of a post-workout Hobbit Kim cruising the Shire shopping in Beverly Hills with a friend. Seriously though, looking at the side-profile shot of Kim makes me wonder if Frodo had a trampy girlfriend.

(Pics via Splash)

Big Freedia Set The Guinness World Record For Twerking (And Did It Without Miley’s Help)

To promote her new show on Fuse, Big Freedia: Queen of the Bounce, Big Freedia and over 350 people got together in Herald Square in NYC, stuck their asses out and twerked until they beat the Guinness World Record for most people simultaneously twerking at one time. Big Freedia is the New Orleans bounce queen and she’s (call her “she” or “he,” just call her) and started twerking long before Billy Ray Cyrus’ plastic bag and rubber band condom broke and Miley was made, so if anyone should set the record it’s her. Guinness set the rules and didn’t play around with that shit. The rules were:

1. Body must remain upright, with movement concentrated in hips
2. Participants can put hands on knees or hips for support
3. Twerking action cannot comes from knees – hips only
4. Freestyling or additional choreography not permitted – no hands on the ground, feet in the air, twirling, etc.
5. Twerking action must be synchronized, can be at own pace
6. All participants must twerk simultaneously for two minutes when Big Freedia gives the signal
7. Any performers who do not participate fully for the entire two minutes will be deducted from the final total

Here’s Big Freedia showing everyone how twerking is done right:

After they twerked their way to the world record, Big Freedia let everyone know that Miley’s uncooked flatbread ass wasn’t the first ass to twerk, “It would open a lot of doors and set history for bounce music and let the world know that we’ve been twerking for a long time. This is not new at all. Now it’s time to set the record.”

Big Freedia shouldn’t celebrate just yet…. David Miscavige is totally going to dispute that ruling and claim that the world record belongs to Scientology. Because every Saturday night in the Scientology bathhouse, hundreds of male members slather their naked bodies in barley oil, bend over each other, put their hands on their knees and work their hips until all their butt Thetans explode. The world record belongs to them! They’ve been doing that eons.

KRIS KANCELLED!!!!!!

Radar says that as you’re reading this, the angels are singing while a wrecking ball smashes into the ugly set for Pimp Mama Kris’ Hour of  Whoring. Or maybe Universal Studios will buy it from FOX to use in their Addams Family attraction since it’s kind of hard to reproduce creepiness like that.

Pimping out her granddaughter not once, but twice, worked for a second, but it wasn’t enough for FOX to give PMK’s talk show a full season. A source tells Radar that FOX recently told Pimp Mama Kris that the ratings for the Summer test run of her talk show sucked harder than the Kardashian family at-home lipo vacuum and so they aren’t picking up her show.

GOD IS REAL!!!!!!

The source said this:

“There is no chance the talk show is going to get a green light from FOX. The ratings were averaging an abysmal 0.8 and advertisers were less than enthusiastic about it.

Kris did get a ratings bump for her last show when Kanye West revealed the first baby pic of daughter, North West, with Kim, but that was a one time shot in the arm and it wouldn’t be indicative of what the ratings trend would be.”

FOX had a camera on Pimp Mama Kris’ face the moment they told her that her talk show would not be coming back and they plan to sell the footage to psychiatrists who will use it as a visual anti-depressant on their patients. Because nothing will make you feel like a ball of sunshine like seeing a piece of Pimp Mama Kris’ Whore Kingdom come crumbling down.

FOX is going to wait a week or three to announce it and they plan to slip the news out on a Friday afternoon, hoping that nobody will notice. It will be hard not to notice when everyone’s screaming the news from the top of rainbows and skipping down the streets while toasting each other with cups full of Andre.

Don’t worry about Pimp Mama Kris, though. Now she’ll have even more time to come up with new and creative ways to take down Lamar Odom. Speaking of, here’s Lamar at Taco Bell today. I guess Lamar buying Pintos ‘N Cheese means that he traded in his crack pipe for a bong for now.

Pics: Splash

Wait, I Thought Wentworth Miller Was Already Out

When I got an email with the subject “Wentworth Miller Comes Out As Gay,” I had to check the date, because the broken down, busted memory box in my brain remembers this as already happening. I thought we already got drunk at his coming out party and already cleaned up the confetti off the floor. But I guess I need to start injecting Gingko directly into my brain, because Wentworth Miller, who was in Prison Break and wrote Stroker, didn’t come out until today. In a letter to the St. Petersburg International Film Festival, Wentworth writes that yup, he likes peen, and because he likes peen, he’s not going to Russia. GLAAD posted the letter:

August 21, 2013

Re: St. Petersburg International Film Festival / “Guest of Honor” Invitation

Dear Ms. Averbakh:

Thank you for your kind invitation. As someone who has enjoyed visiting Russia in the past and can also claim a degree of Russian ancestry, it would make me happy to say yes.

However, as a gay man, I must decline.

I am deeply troubled by the current attitude toward and treatment of gay men and women by the Russian government. The situation is in no way acceptable, and I cannot in good conscience participate in a celebratory occasion hosted by a country where people like myself are being systematically denied their basic right to live and love openly.

Perhaps, when and if circumstances improve, I’ll be free to make a different choice.

Until then.

Wentworth Miller

Member, HRC
Member, GLAAD
Member, The ManKind Project

Well, at least something good has come out of this whole terrifying Russia mess.

And did you know that Wentworth was 41? While he was coming out as gay, he should’ve also come out as a 41-year-old, because I had no idea about that.

WWE Superstar Darren Young Comes Out

Seen above giving us all a late-summer fever by serving up some “Heat Miser as a Solid Gold Dancer” tease, WWE Superstar Darren Young casually told TMZ that yup, he likes peen, while waiting for his luggage in the baggage area at LAX yesterday. The combination of a gold sequin headband, black thigh highs, muscled-up nipples and tiger print gold luh-may briefs (Side note: I am too lazy to put a fancy accent over the “e” in lame, so I’m just typing it out phonetically….. and I just realized that explaining why I typed it out phonetically is making me use a lot more energy than putting an accent over the “e” would’ve. Nobody has ever accused me of making sense.) is making me pucker already and Darren Young really made me pucker with his casual coming out speech.

TMZ’s cameradude recognized Darren Young at LAX and decided to ask him if the WWE is ready for a successful openly gay superstar and he answered the question by saying:

“Absolutely. Look at me. I’m a WWE superstar and to be honest with you, I’ll tell you right now, I’m gay. And I’m happy. I’m very happy. …..Does it matter? Does it matter to you? Does it change what you think about me?

I guess if you want to call it a “coming out,” I don’t really know what to say it is. I’m just letting you know that I’m happy with who I am. I am comfortable with myself.”

The TMZ dude asked Darren what he thinks people’s response will be and he sort of shrugged and said that some will hate it, some will love it, but he’s comfortable with himself and that’s all that matters. Here’s the full video of Darren’s casual coming out:

WWE already issued a statement of support:

On TMZ this morning, WWE Superstar Darren Young revealed to the WWE Universe that he is gay. WWE is proud of Darren Young for being open about his sexuality, and we will continue to support him as a WWE Superstar. Today, in fact, Darren will be participating in one of our Be A STAR anti-bullying rallies in Los Angeles to teach children how to create positive environments for everyone regardless of age, race, religion or sexual orientation.

Yeah, that video looks slightly choreographed and sort of staged, but who cares! The “Yeah, I like dick and?” coming out speeches are my favorite kind of coming out speeches. And now that he’s out, maybe he should change his Twitter bio. Right now it says:

As comfortable in the VIP section as he is in the ring, Darren Young’s life revolves around three things — money, women and wrestling.

He should update it to say:

As comfortable in the VIP section as he is in the ring, Darren Young’s life revolves around three things — money, gold sequin headbands and wrestling.