Glamberace Got Oral With A Girl Once

Out Magazine named their 100 honorees, and Glamberace was hailed as the breakout of the year. Since Out is a gay magazine, I would expect them to ask Glamberace about how Ryan Gaycrest would always offer to give him a bikini wax with his tongue. You know, interesting things like that. But instead, they got to talking about his experience with the other kind of vagina.

Are you toying with perception when you talk about how you could be bi-curious? Or are you generally attracted to women?
I will make out with a girl at a bar. I mean, after a couple of drinks.

[Laughing] That doesn’t make you any less gay. Get three mai tais in a gay boy and he’ll make out with a girl. Sex is something different.
That’s why I say I’m curious. There are gay guys that gag and go “eww” at the thought of having sex with a girl. I’m curious about it, because I’ve never done it.

Have you ever had any sex with a girl?
Oral.

You went down on her?
Uh-huh.

Was it gross, or it was just not what you wanted?
It was a little gross because I don’t think she was as clean as she could’ve been. It wasn’t the act of it that really turned me off. I don’t really remember. I was 18 and I was drunk. Or maybe I was 17… The point of the matter is that I would not rule it out. The idea is intriguing.

And it’s threatening.
Well, it’s threatening personally because you start identifying as a certain thing for so long, the idea of kind of going outside of that is scary because you’re like, “But that’s who I am!” Being curious and embracing that curiosity is all a part of what I’m about. You don’t have to be any one thing. You can kinda just be. Just live your life — and play.

If it was Glamberace’s first time at the clambake, how did he know if she was dirty down there or not? I sampled from the oyster buffet in the 90s (WE ALL DID), and it didn’t make me want to reach for the barf bag or anything. Mostly, I just closed my eyes, clicked my heels and wished that a 9-inch peen would pop out.

I’m guessing that stank snatch is just like stank dick. When dick is rancid, you know as soon as you pull the fly down. Seriously, you can smell it right away. It’s like a week-old grilled cheese sandwich lying on a hot subway seat in the middle of August. Your nose hairs curl, your tonsils start throbbing and your slut skills are put to the test. You have to ask yourself if licking peen is really worth spending the next few days scraping dick butter off your tongue. And if your tongue comes across a big chunk of foreskin cheese, IT IS ALL OVER. MAN DOWN CODE 10.

And don’t ask me how I went from Glamberace licking on vag to the dangerous world of dirty dick sucking.

Glamberace Doesn’t Waste Any Time

Glamberace’s sparkly jizz hasn’t even finished drying on Derek LaBry’s chest, and he’s already got himself a new piece. Earlier this week, Glamberace confirmed that he’s no longer skipping through the clouds with Derek, because he needs to focus on his album. Well, Glamberace must have found time to focus on something else too: another dude’s wang.

A source tells Star Magazine that the extra-terrestrial unicorn is getting a little closer to singer/songwriter Ferras Alqaisi. The source went on to yap, “They have a lot in common, so I’m not surprised Adam started falling for him. Adam really dropped a bomb on Drake; I don’t think he suspected a thing!”

Oh, it happens. Sometimes the only way to get the taste of your ex’s peen out of your mouth is to gargle with a different peen. This is probably just a Listerine fuck and nothing more.

Glamberace Is Single

Radar reports that Shia LaFabulous (government name: Drake LaBry) is no longer wet riding on Glamberace’s unicorn horn, because the two have called it a day. Apparently, Drake packed up his tweezers and suspenders after taking one look at Glamberace’s album cover. Even Drake could not condone that kind of fuckery. No, one source said that the relationship just reached its expiration date and the two are still friends.

Drake probably just woke up and realized he was sick of spending most of his day scrubbing out glitter sperm, rainbow smegma and black eyeliner from his sheets. It can be messy sharing a bed with a magical alien unicorn like Glamberace.

(Image: Pacific Coast News)

Glamberace Fierce

The cover for Glamberace’s single “For your EnterTAINTment” isn’t going to transport you to a planet where glittery unicorns ejaculate rainbows (aka Planet Cornify) like his album portrait, but it might make your fuck hole inhale until it goes blue. That’s a compliment. I think. And is it just me or does Glamberace’s finger joo-ree look like mini dick-cuffs for a chain gang bang? Tommy Girl will order a dozen!

Listen to Glamberace’s song below and tell me if it’s about getting gay raped in an S&M disco club. Or not.

VIA Queerty

Waiting For La Toya

At the premiere of the new Michael Jackson movie This Is It in Los Angeles yesterday, this lady stood for hours with her eyes poppin’ out and her perfect eyebrows waiting to pounce as soon as Detective La Toya hit the red carpet. Unfortunately, the woman’s (and my) dreams were crushed into dust, because La Toya never graced the crowd with her glamour. La Toya refused to see the film, because she wants to keep a clear head to help her with the ongoing investigation to get to the bottom of EVERYTHING. And because La Toya said Michael would’ve never wanted his rehearsal footage to be made into a feature film. La Toya would know since I’m sure Michael communicated this to her using morse code.

Even though La Toya wasn’t there, the premiere was still attended by a giant cast of characters. Some of these bitches would show up to the opening of a dick hole as long as cameras were there (I’m looking at you, Wonky).

Below is: Celestia (and her son who is trying to get away from her), Steve Sanders, Tito Jackson, Jackie Jackson, Marlon Jackson, Jermaine Jackson, JLo, JLove, Jaime Kennedy, Joey McIntyre, Katy Perry, Glamberace, Lou Ferrigno (with his glamorous wife), Neil Patrick Harris, Paula Abdul, Rosanna Arquette, Vivica Fox, Will Smith and some bottom shelf call girl.

Glamberace Isn’t Afraid Of A Little Titty

Just because Glamberace prefers peen on his lips, doesn’t mean that he gets the “ewwwws” in his glitter hole when he touches a tittay. I’m gayer than an episode of Small Wonder, and I have been known to journey into the land of boobies every now and again. Let’s face it, no matter how you take your coffee, chichis are still fun to play with. Playing with chichis: America’s favorite past(present and future)time! The same goes for peen, and everyone just needs to admit that already.

Anyway, in the new issue of Details Magazine (a straight magazine for gays), Glamberace gayhandles a nekkid woman by gropping her ladynipple and biting on her ladythigh. If you ever want to SCANDAL up a photo shoot, just throw in a nekkid lady. It works every time (not really).

And as much as these pictures wet my bitches (typo and it stays), I have to admit that KD Lang and Cindy Crawford did it better.

Visit Details if you want to read about Glamberace kissing ladies, being a slutbag and how he’s sick of religious hos giving him crucifixes.