Category: Brad Falchuk
Gwyneth Paltrow Brought Chris Martin Along To Her Honeymoon To Brad Falchuk
Snake oil saleswoman, sometimes-actress, and yoga “founder” Gwyneth Paltrow already wanted us to know her divorce from Chris Martin wasn’t like any other divorce – they were “conscious uncoupling,” which meant they would still be friends. Fast forward a few years, and Gwyn is now married to Brad Falchuk, and Chris is with Dakota Johnson. I guess conscious uncoupling also means consciously agreeing to fly your ass to the Maldives and play babysitter to your ex while she has a honeymoon because Gwyn says Chris came along with their kids when she and Brad honeymooned over the last few weeks.
Gwyneth Paltrow May Have Goop, But Jeff Bezos Ain’t Returning Her Calls
The definition of snake oil may come with a picture of Gwyneth Paltrow scooping her Oscar for Shakespeare In Love, but that doesn’t make her laugh any less when she peeks at the numbers jade vagina eggs have generated for her bank account. Gwyn is make the press rounds to show how much of a business woman she is these days, and her latest sit-down is honestly a greatest hits of her wackadoo-ness, like “conscious uncoupling” and her trying to claim she made yoga happen (more on that later). Alas, while the world is apparently getting taken over by Amazon, there’s one person Jeff Bezos ain’t calling – and that’s GP.
Dakota Johnson Spent Thanksgiving With Chris Martin And Gwyneth Paltrow
I don’t know for sure that Thanksgiving with Gwyneth Paltrow involves a wine that goes well with boiled kale stems (although I’m sure that’s totally on the table), but thanks to People, we know that it allegedly involved dinner with her new husband, as well as her ex-husband and his girlfriend. Sources say that Gwyneth, Brad Falchuk, Chris Martin, and Dakota Johnson, as well as Gywneth and Chris’ kids, Apple and Moses, all joined together for Thanksgiving dinner this year.
Gwyneth Paltrow And Brad Falchuk Showed Off Their Wedding Bands On Instagram
Gwyneth Paltrow and Brad Falchuk got married on Saturday at a private home in the Hamptons in front of a small audience of famous friends. Not much is known about the look of Gwyneth’s wedding, and I’m sure she’s saving the details for Goop. For now, all we know is that Gwyneth and Brad sealed the deal with some simple gold bands.
Gwyneth posted the picture on Sunday without any caption. As for those rings, it’s safe to assume they’re just standard wedding bands. Although it is Gwyneth we’re talking about, so they might actually be a circular spiritual soul connectivity set, forged from Tibetan gold, blessed by a lady Shaman named Togethyr in a crystal singing bowl.
According to People, Gwyneth was all about privacy at this wedding. A source says she worked with wedding guest and friend Cameron Diaz to make sure the day was as secret as possible. Cameron and Benji Madden got married without any details getting out, and Gwyneth wanted the same.
That might explain why Gwyneth didn’t give away any information in the caption of that wedding ring picture. Of course, there is a chance their first official picture as Mr. and Mrs. doesn’t have a wordy pretentious caption is because she posted it the day after her wedding reception. And let’s face it, she was probably too hungover on organic sulfite-free wine to come up with anything good.
“When your chakras finally align with the sensual energy of the endocrine system…no. Okay, when you channel spiritual creativity into cosmic love…fuck, no not that. Damn it, Brad – pass me the fucking Tylenol.“
Pic: Instagram
Gwyneth Paltrow And Brad Falchuk Got Married
The rumors were true! Goop and her fiance of eight months have mindfully coalesced into a dyad! Translation – Gwyneth Paltrow, 46, and Glee and American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk, 47, were married in an intimate yet star-studded ceremony in the Hamptons yesterday.
Gwyneth Paltrow Is Probably Getting Married This Weekend
And I’m sure the guests are already drooling with excitement. Just think: sitting on an imported Italian leather chair in their finest $4000 semi-formal dress, watching as dozens of rare coconutoilflies (they’re better than butterflies, don’t worry about it) are released into the air. If those aren’t your plans for this weekend, then you’re obviously not attending Gwyneth Paltrow’s rumored wedding.