The rumors were true! Goop and her fiance of eight months have mindfully coalesced into a dyad! Translation – Gwyneth Paltrow, 46, and Glee and American Horror Story co-creator Brad Falchuk, 47, were married in an intimate yet star-studded ceremony in the Hamptons yesterday.
E! and People report that the wedding took place in the yard of a private home in the Hamptons, and the guests included Gwyneth’s best Marvel buddy Robert Downey Jr. and his wife Susan Downey, marrieds Cameron Diaz and Benji Madden, Goop’s godfather Steven Spielberg, and Jerry and Jessica Seinfeld. (The Seinfelds threw the couple’s rehearsal dinner on Friday night. This probably means that Jerry was the entertainment. And that means jokey observations about airplane food. Hopefully, it was open bar for those poor guests.)
The paps snapped Brad driving himself to the ceremony Saturday afternoon, leading a caravan of cars that included most of the guests. Any resemblance to a funeral procession was probably entirely coincidental. Also, Brad gets points for telling Gwyneth “fuck no” when she probably tried to convince him to ride a vintage bicycle from the 1800s to the ceremony instead of something terribly pedestrian what with that gauche internal combustion.
Gwyneth and Brad announced their engagement on the January cover of the magazine version of Goop, which was the “Sex & Love” issue. She’s got two kids from her conscious coupling with Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin (Apple, 13, and Moses, 11) and he’s got two with his ex-wife, tv producer Suzanne Bukinik. He filed for divorce from her in 2013.
The newlyweds aren’t into having any more kids, so society will be spared the “How To Have The Most Pretentious Pregnancy Possible” issue. Paltrow revealed this in an interview with Howard Stern, according to People.
“This is his second marriage … Neither of us wants more kids,” the mother of two said on an episode of Howard Stern‘s SiriusXM radio show. “We’re on the same team.”
Speaking of coupling, conscious or unconscious, People sez that Goop’s ex spent his Saturday performing at the Global Citizen Festival in Central Park, where he also hung out with Hugh Jackman and his wife Deborra-lee Furness. Chris and Gwyneth eloped in 2003 and inspired side-eyes around the world when she announced they had split up in the most insufferable way possible in March 2014.
Martin seems pretty happy about being out from under Gwynnie. After dating Jennifer Lawrence for a little while, he’s now with 50 Shades Of Softcore Mom Porn actress Dakota Johnson. It’s apparently pretty serious because the couple are now sporting matching infinity symbol tattoos. And getting matching couple tattoos is a sure sign that you’re headed for your next conscious uncoupling, so good luck with that, Chris. And congrats, Goopy!