Blake Shelton Got Melodramatic While Talking About Gwen Stefani

As if I really even had to get specific, right? Of course Blake Shelton said something gushy about Gwen Stefani! I’m pretty sure they’re contractually obligated to do so at least once every 48 hours.

It all happened during a recent interview with CMT’s Katie Cook (via E! News). One half of the famous people version of that couple from your high school that was always making out at their shared locker was asked about his latest single “Came Here to Forget.” Since not-subtle songs about their relationship are kind of their thing, Katie didn’t bother asking if the first line (“Girl you’re getting over him and I’m getting over her“) was a reference to Gwen. Instead, she cut straight to the chase and got Blake talking about how NBCs hottest mid-season romance started.

“It’s not something anybody could’ve seen coming besides God I guess because it doesn’t look like it would make sense. All I can tell you is that it does. It just makes the most perfect sense for us and where we’re at in our lives. I tell people all the time, ‘Gwen saved my life last year.’ She did. I think she’d tell you something similar about me. This thing just happened. It saved my life. Period.”

Blake is being more dramatic than a 13-year-old girl at a meet-and-greet with One Direction, but I think I get what he means? If Death Becomes Her has taught me anything, it’s that breakups are the type of emotionally hard that can leave you spending the next seven years eating canned frosting in your sweatpants. So if he’s trying to say that Gwen saved him from the canned frosting, then good for you, Gwen.

Pic: NBC

I Really Hope Gwen Stefani Got A Giant Bonus For This Sappy Shit

As totally expected, Gwen Stefani, the badass rebel of the high school who wears black nail polish and has an anarchy patch on her bomber jacket, and Blake Shelton, the hillbilly badass of the high school who has Truck Nutz on his F-150 and got suspended for sneaking a beer into an assembly, cemented their weird ass union in song.

Gwen and Blake made the anti “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” with a duet called “Go Ahead And Break My Heart.” Elton John and Kiki Dee are so not amused. The song is on Blake’s new album If I’m Honest, and it’s about a trick who uses another trick to get over a breakup, but they fall in love with that trick and are scared and shit and blah blah… It’s so real life! Gwen and Blake performed their duet on The Voice last night. If you’re a cynical, bitter bitch like me, but want to see their performance, make sure you hold onto your eyeballs right after pressing play, because their natural reaction will be to roll.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I21S6BdsZog

Gwen, what are you doing?! To quote my friend when I agreed to go to a 3-hour-long church organ recital with my boyfriend-at-the-time because he asked me to: “I hope the dick is good, because that’s a deal breaker.”

That duet is just… I’d rather watch Gwen and Blake make out all sloppy-like while wearing matching outfits as they sit on the same side in a 4-person restaurant booth. That would be less heave-inducing to me. Why don’t you go ahead and break my nerves, you two!

And here’s THAT couple at the Angry Birds premiere in L.A. over the weekend:

Pics: Splash

Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani Are In Love: Part 648

We talk about a lot of stunt queens here and nothing warms the heart like queens of love stunting. There’s just something about two people selling us their love that turns our black hearts blacker. Please, go on and on about just how in love you are as we sit back with our cats, dogs, whatevers and a glass (read box) of wine and smile and side eye. The love hawkers dujour are Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani. Continuing on their door to door sales trip, they’ve now done a duet and Blake had some gushy stuff to say about it.

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A Judge Gave Blake Shelton The Go Ahead To Sue InTouch For Claiming He’s A Drunk

Last month, tall drink o’ moonshine Blake Shelton decided to sue InTouch for defamation after they ran a maybe-dirty cover story about him back in September. InTouch had accused Blake of being an alcoholic whose rock bottom included showing up to work on The Voice drunk and urinating in a mailbox. They also alleged that Blake’s boozing got so bad he was going to rehab.

InTouch responded to Blake’s lawsuit by crossing their heart, hoping to die, and swearing that all the words they printed about Blake being a mess were true. However, an editor for InTouch also claimed that they never explicitly used the words “Blake has checked into rehab” and therefore can’t be sued for defamation. So they asked a judge to take Blake’s defamation lawsuit and dump it in the trash.

But TMZ says that a judge wasn’t feeling it, and they’ve rejected InTouch’s request to have it thrown out. The judge side-eyed their claim about not writing that he was in rehab, since the words “REHAB For Blake” were written in giant letters on the cover. According to the judge, false claims of checking into rehab were worthy of a lawsuit. The judge also swatted at them for knowing that Blake wasn’t in rehab when they wrote and published the story, which, again, is sue-worthy.

Another argument InTouch used to try to convince the judge to trash Blake’s defamation lawsuit was his activity on Twitter. InTouch claimed that Blake has tweeted in the past about drinking and being drunk, and therefore he was already defaming his character. The judge rolled their eyes at that too.

Blake has clearly been taking subtlety tips from his girlfriend Gwen Stefani, because on Sunday he was seen on stage at a show in Florida drinking out of a cup with his initials on one side and “I drink, get over it” on the other. How convenient that his initials are BS. The only way that would have been a less-subtle slap at InTouch would be if he had that thing about drinking printed on the back of a cup from Florida University. Here’s more of Blake drankin’ and sangin’ and smoochin’ on his guitarist at the Tortuga Music Festival on Sunday.

Pics: Splash

Blake Shelton Is Suing InTouch For Saying He’s A Drunk Mess Who Once Peed On A Mailbox

Back in September, InTouch ran a cover story accusing Gwen Stefani’s country bro rebound boyfriend Blake Shelton of being a binge-drinking drunk who was forced into rehab after his ex-wife Miranda Lambert caught him in bed with a bunch of naked women. They also included a laundry list of alleged ways that Blake is a mess, including (but not limited to) drinking vodka before 11am, showing up to The Voice hammered, and drunkenly peeing on a mailbox.

Even though In Touch’s story read like the plot description for a direct-to-CMT parody of Leaving Las Vegas, Blake thought it was believable enough to qualify as slander and he’s lawyered up for real this time. Page Six says that Blake is suing InTouch’s publisher, Bauer Publishing, for $2 million dollars. According to the lawsuit, Blake makes it very clear that he has never been to rehab or hit rock bottom, like the cover claims. He also says he doesn’t have a drinking problem, doesn’t drink vodka before 11am, has never been drunk on The Voice, and my personal favorite, has never “urinated on a mailbox.” Blake Shelton: not a mailbox pisser! He also claims that Miranda never caught him with a bunch of naked chicks in their house. Maybe he saved it for his tour bus?

Page Six says that Bauer responded by claiming everything they said about Blake was “substantially true” and that they want his lawsuit thrown out.

I understand slapping at someone for talking shit (or piss, if you will) about you. But I’m not sure why he’s going after InTouch for $2 million. Especially since they’re doing a great job of writing the kind of fanfiction that keeps us interested in his current relationship. Besides, he’s acting like chugging vodka before noon and showing up to work drunk is a bad thing. I mean, around here, that’s the sort of stuff that will win you Employee of the Month.

Blake Shelton Bought Gwen Stefani A Horse

“I hope you also bought a deluxe shock-absorbing saddle, because I don’t want to blow out my coochie bone the first time it decides to take a rough gallop.” Can you tell I know nothing about horses?

It looks like Blake Shelton decided to take his relationship with Gwen Stefani to the next level, which as we all know is giving your special someone an expensive animal. Last month, Gwen posted this on Instagram:

My new bunny #bestpresentever hi Halo 🐴💕 gx

A photo posted by Gwen Stefani (@gwenstefani) on Jan 24, 2016 at 10:25am PST

She never said who gave her that horse. I’m sure it had nothing to do with playing coy and hoping people would guess that Halo the Horsie was from Blake. Well, guess what? Blake told Entertainment Tonight last night that the gift came from him. Mystery solved!

“We got her horse and I got myself a horse at the same time. Gwen, she loves riding and she loves horses. It’s actually so funny that people are so shocked by that, but if you can name me one girl on the planet that doesn’t love horses or just think that they are beautiful.”

Hmmm… I don’t personally know any of their names, but I do know that they work at a restaurant in Newport, Kentucky.

There will be no shade from me in regards to Blake giving his girlfriend a horse. Unlike some famous people who adopt animals, Gwen and Blake seem like the type who will take care of theirs. Not to mention that Gwen is a rich person, so that horsie will always have the best apples and salt licks. What I do have a problem with is the name she gave her horse. Halo??? What kind of boring-ass, violently un-Gwen Stefani name is Halo? Or maybe Halo is short for Hella Good Santa Cruz Pickitup Pony, in which case I stand corrected.

Pic: Splash