Category: Blake Shelton
Blake Shelton And Gwen Stefani’s Biggest Fan Is….
Paul Sheldon had Annie Wilkes. Wayne Campbell had Crazy Stacy. Beyonce has the Beyhive. Gwake, the unholy portmanteau used to represent the so-real relationship of Blake Shelton and Gwen Stefani, also has an obsessed super fan. No, it’s not any of the people who are maybe being paid to gush about them on social media. According to Gwen Stefani, it’s Gwen Stefani. Oh Gwen; still allergic to subtlety, I see.
During an event on Tuesday, UsWeekly asked Gwen about her relationship with croonin’ giant Blake Shelton and she said:
“I’m our biggest fan! I actually feel like I’m not in my own life, because I’m not. I’m in a different life all of a sudden. I’m so blessed and I feel like I believe in my path. Now there’s all these miracles around me!”
Sadly, Blake was unable to be reached for comment regarding whether or not he felt the same way about their relationship, as he was too busy dragging a random woman on Twitter.
Gwen claims to be Gwake’s most hardcore stan, but I’m not so sure. The last time we checked in on Gwen and Blake’s relationship, she was allegedly turning down his marriage proposal. That doesn’t sounds like something a self-professed “biggest fan” would do. The biggest fan would have said yes, immediately changed their Twitter name to TheFutureMrsGwakeShelton, then gotten a backwards tattoo of Blake’s proposal across her titties so she could re-read the reflection of it every morning in the bathroom mirror while brushing her teeth with a toothbrush made of Blake’s hair. Gwen, I’m starting to question your commitment to this fandom.
As you can see from these pictures of Gwen with her kids last Sunday, she’s not wearing a single article of clothing with Blake’s face on it. Gwen, come on. At least use some of that black hair dye to spell out BLAKE in your ponytail next time.
Gwen Stefani Turned Down Blake Shelton’s Marriage Proposal
Radar is reporting that Blake Shelton decided to take his genuine love for Gwen Stefani by popping the question to her after just six months of very public outings and TV performances. And romance or something. Prepare yourselves, the proposal story is straight out of the Cowboy Romance Handbook. I need a minute before I tell you what happened, my eyes are stuck in the roll position…
According to Radar, during an indoor picnic (what?) at Gwen’s mansion, Blake hid a $1.2 million dollar engagement ring inside a box of KFC. However, when Gwen found it, she didn’t yodel out a “yeehaw yes“. Gwen turned him down. If getting turned down by your girl after she pulls out a greasy, crazy expensive ring from a box of fried chicken isn’t country, I don’t know what is. There must be songs about this already, right? If there aren’t, you can bet your prize winning pig there will be.
Radar’s source types are saying are behind there were quite a few factors behind the decision. Gwen is still feeling the burn after the divorce form Gavin Rossdale and his nanny humping ways. The age difference between her and Blake is also apparently a concern. She’s 39 and he’s 46. The age factor is also stinging her in the ass because she thinks she’s done having babies and is worried Blake won’t be happy in a relationship where he won’t get the chance to be a father. However, her main concern is her three kids, Kingston (10), Zuma (7) and Apollo (2) and how they’d adjust to a new Mr Stefani.
What a funny coincidence that this story broke right after it came out Gavin is not happy about Blake being around his kids so much. Just like everything else with Gwen and Blake, this definitely doesn’t seem orchestrated! There’s nothing phony smelling about an indoor picnic and a ring in a box of chicken. Blake, despite being turned down, apparently told Gwen to hold onto the ring until she changes her mind. That’s really sweet of him. He knows what she’s going through. I’d need a cheer up million dollar rock too if this had been done to me.
Pic: Wenn
Gavin Rossdale Isn’t Crazy About Blake Shelton Hanging Out With His Kids
I know this could literally be a picture of any family at The Cheesecake Factory, but it’s not. The giant in jeans and cowboy boots on the left is Blake Shelton. The blonde on the right is Gwen Stefani. The tiny humans gathered around her are her children. This picture makes me angry, because the closest Cheesecake Factory to me is a two hour drive away. It also makes Gavin Rossdale angry, but it has nothing to do with the fact that he isn’t currently eating a plate of Chicken Bellagio.
According to In Touch, Gwen’s ex-husband isn’t happy that she has brought their three kids into her questionably-authentic relationship with Blake Shelton. A source claims that Gavin isn’t exactly here for Gwen and Blake’s relationship to begin with, which is fine, because I don’t think anybody really gets the warm fuzzies when they see their ex gushing over someone new. But he’s especially not here for Gwen’s new boyfriend getting all “Y’all critters can call me Uncle Blakey” with their sons Kingston, Zuma, and Apollo Rossdale. The source says:
“Gavin doesn’t agree with [Gwen] having a relationship with Blake, and he doesn’t like her bringing the kids around him.”
Well that’s kind of rich coming from the guy who was introduced to his side-piece through his kids. As for why he’s so worried about Blake showing up to soccer practice and tagging along on Cheesecake Factory night, a source tells E! News that it’s probably because he’s not thinking about much else these days.
“All Gavin is concerned about right now is protecting his kids. He is a fantastic father and his kids have been going through a hard time.”
I don’t know if Gavin needs to stress so much about his kids hanging out with Mommy’s new boyfriend. Who knows? Maybe she didn’t introduce him as her boyfriend. Maybe her kids just know him as “Mommy’s special country singing TV friend” who comes over to the house and “promote each other’s new albums” in the office. I’d say that’s the power of the innocence of children, but to be honest, I’m pretty sure that’s all they’re doing.
Pic: Splash
For Some Secret Reason, Blake Shelton Bought Miranda Lambert’s Boutique In Oklahoma
Despite the fact that Blake Shelton and Miranda Lambert have been over for almost a whole year and they’re both currently in relationships (some real, some possibly less real) with other people, they recently got together to exchange some keys and money. That sounds like the set up for a porno about a prostitute who works out of a valet stand, but that’s not what this is. People says that Miranda recently put the Oklahoma location of her boutique, The Pink Pistol, up for sale and it was bought by none other than her ex-husband.
Miranda opened The Pink Pistol, which isn’t a sex toy store (I checked), back in 2012 in Tishomingo, Oklahoma, where she and Blake lived. A year later, she decided to open another Pink Pistol store in Texas. Recently she decided to focus entirely on the Texas store, and she put the Oklahoma store up for sale. Blake, who still lives in Tishomingo, tells Entertainment Tonight:
“As a resident of Tishomingo I’m very sorry that the Pink Pistol has decided to move its operations out of the area. We all, as a community, appreciate everything it has done for our town. As for the actual properties left behind…I was offered the opportunity to buy them, and I have a plan brewing.”
When asked about why she was closing the Pink Pistol location in Oklahoma, Miranda explained that she wanted to “close a chapter” in her life and go back home to Texas. Basically, she don’t want to run into Blake on the main street no more.
As for what Blake “has brewing“, he hinted at his plans on Twitter. Sadly, it sounds like he isn’t planning on opening a footwear store with Gwen Stefani called Boots n’ Creepers Couple’s Shoe-tique.
No sir. PP left town. I bought the building it used to be in though!!! And yes something is brewing… https://t.co/zK8Iw7spgX
— Blake Shelton (@blakeshelton) May 26, 2016
Hmmmm, I wonder what Blake has planned? Gosh, I wish he’d stop beering so vague. All jokes aside, I hope that Blake pays homage to his love of beer and names his brewery The Wet Mailbox.
Pic: Wenn.com
Famous-ish People Might Be Getting Paid To Talk About Gwen And Blake’s Relationship
Because there are no shortage of celebrities who get an attention boner from a good old fashioned publicity stunt, there are people who are suspicious of just how true and real Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton’s love is. Dlisted, for example. Hell, I’m pretty sure that if Ted Casablanca was still around, there’d be no end to the stories about “Harajuku Mom” and “The Y’all-y Jean Giant.”
Well, real or fake (or a marketable combination of the two), The Cut has a theory about why Gwen and Blake’s relationship is getting so much attention in the first place, and it has to do with paying barely-famous people to talk about them.
What In The Hell Kind Of GD Makeup Is This?
Gwen Stefani and Blake Shelton performed their eyeroll-summoning duet “Go Ahead And Break My Heart” on the Billboard Music Awards last night. And when “she” came out, I figured that the real Gwen finally woke up from her dickmatized haze and pulled out of the performance at the last minute and so producers replaced her with a melting Donatella Versace wax figure, hoping that nobody would notice. But everyone noticed and many said the same thing that Saint West says to his au pair-in-waiting when either his mom or dad comes to visit him: “Who is she?”
Gwen dropped her usual red lipstick and black Sharpie eyeliner, and instead slapped every shade of sparkly beige paint onto her face, and finished the look off with a dusty ass eyebrow situation and one of Jennifer Lopez’s old dresses. The last time Gwen and Blake sang their heave-worthy duet, they really brought the cheese and laid it on thick. But last night, even they looked like they were over it and gave off the chemistry of a burnt-out match and a puddle of water. In almost every shot of Blake, it looks like he’s thinking to himself, “Harpo, who dis woman I’m singing with?”
And I really wasn’t into Gwen’s beige Barbie look until one of my friends texted me after the show and said she looked like Pete Burns in ~natural~ makeup. That made me sort of love Gwen’s look, because Pete Burns in ~natural~ makeup IS the look. But still, hillbilly dick should come with a warning, because it has the power to change your face!
Pics: Wenn.com, Getty