Carrie Fisher’s Advice To Billie Lourd: Don’t Be An Asshole

Carrie Fisher always seemed, to me at least, like she was the type of mom with a never-ending wealth of good advice. Sort of a learn-from-my-mistakes kind of thing, or just the result of living the equivalent of five normal lifetimes in her own life. Her daughter, Billie Lourd, recently spoke with her American Horror Story co-star Sarah Paulson for Town & Country. And it turns out that yes, Carrie Fisher gave the kind of guidance you’d expect a legend like Carrie Fisher to give.

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Carrie Fisher Died From Sleep Apnea (And Drug Use)

We’re still mourning the passing of Princess Leia (tn Carrie Fisher – one of the most delightful and witty actresses/authors/humans with whom the world had been gifted). I can’t pass an ornate gold and leather bikini and bondage collar w/chain without sighing deeply and sadly.

Carrie passed after suffering a heart attack on a plane in December of last year (aka “The Year Everyone Died“). The L.A. County Coroner’s Office has determined that her heart attack was caused by “sleep apnea” as well as other “unidentified factors,” according to People. The report also noted that she had “atherosclerotic heart disease” and that “drug use” was a factor. They’re not saying which drugs Carrie was taking but the report did note that “Fisher had taken multiple drugs prior to her death.”
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Billie Lourd Will Take Care Of Gary Fisher

After many people finished scraping up the souls that fell out of their bodies from reading about how the one-of-a-kind Carrie Fisher is no longer with us, their first thought was probably, “But what will happen to Gary Fisher?!!”

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So Natural, So Spontaneous, So Not Staged

Even through all of the blurriness, you can clearly see the dude on the left throwing a look that says, “Grrrrrl, please……”

At The Nice Guy in L.A. last night, the Great Value Kaley Cuoco and Henry Cavill was born when Billie Lourd (aka Carrie Fisher’s daughter) and Taylor Lautner (aka the twink alpaca from Twatlight) touched mouths in front of everyone. Those of us who watch the second season of Scream Queens know that Billie and Taylor are on that shit together. E! News says that Billie and Taylor partied at The Nice Guy last night with their co-stars, Abigail Breslin and Keke Palmer. Some eyewitness gave E! all the details of what they saw and this mess reads like it was ripped straight out of the script that Billie and Taylor were given before delivering this organic scene of love.

“He was sitting really close to Billie, whispering in each other’s ears twice and kiss. They’ve been staring in each other’s eyes and she’s been stroking his chest because his shirt is unbuttoned.”

Keke Palmer (born name: Lauren Keyana Palmer) Snapchatted TayLourd’s act of pure love, and if you put your ear to the screen and listen real closely, you can almost hear the sound of a director whisper-screaming at them to do it like they mean it this time.

I ship them so hard!!! ??❤? #taylorlautner #billielourd #teamtaylourd #lovethis Source >> lauren palmer snapchat

A video posted by Taylor Lautner Mania 2 (@taylorlautnermania2) on Dec 5, 2016 at 4:00am PST

I would say that Ryan Murphy better slide a little bonus to Billie, Taylor and Keke for doing what they gotta do for some quick PR, but only gay bloggers like me care about who Taylor Lautner is dating and I don’t think that’s enough to boost ratings. Ugh, I hate it when my brain actually burps out a reasonable thought.

And here’s Taylor and Beardie Lourd sashaying off to the set of Scream Queens in L.A. on Saturday.

Pics: Wenn.com

To Fap Or Not To Fap: Adam Driver And Oscar Isaac Having An Intimate Moment On The Red Carpet

Dude in the back whose thinking, “Should I fap to this or not?“, is all of us.

Now that we’ve gotten the attention whores of the Star Wars: The Force Awakens premiere out of the way, here’s the people who were contractually obligated to be there since they’re in the damn thing. You know, I’d much rather see pictures of Oscar Isaac and John Boyega 69 in the middle of a Stormtrooper circle jerk. But when the universe gives you pictures of the Guatemalan hot piece dry topping the spawn of Jar Jar Binks and Goofy (aka Adam Driver aka Adam from Girls) while checking his tits for lumps, you take them and you don’t complain.

But the real star of last night’s red carpet was Carrie Fisher. Carrie Fisher left the real star of her family, Gary Fisher, at home, because he’s probably exhausted from her dragging him around for the press tour and she didn’t want him to die of boredom while watching that shit. During the live stream of the premiere, Carrie, her daughter Billie Lourd and Oscar Isaac took turns interviewing each other and it was messier than her outfit.

I wasn’t planning on seeing Star Whores, but if you tell me that there’s a long scene where General Leia destroys the enemy by making their brains combust while interviewing them, I’ll get in line now.

Pics: Wenn.com