Birdo, the transgender dino from the Super Mario Bros. world!

Finally, Birdo gets the HSOTD honors she truly, truly deserves. Birdo first started filling the Mario Kingdom with her hot pink glamour and spitting eggs at Mario in Super Mario Bros. 2 and since then she’s made an appearance in zillions of Mario games. Birdo is one of Mario’s enemies and she’s a girl dino who was born in a boy dino’s body. Wiki says that she’s one of the first trans flower video game character and she was birthed out by designer Jennifer Reitz, who’s transgendered.

Birdo isn’t only a transgender icon, but she’s also an icon to many and several copy cat whores have stolen from her. That giant red bow? Yup, snatched by Lady Control Copy. That gigantic diamond ring that can be seen from space and beyond? Yup, Jennifer Aniston stole that EXACT design for her damn engagement ring. That purple Wet ‘N Wild eyeshadow lining her lids? One of my glam chola cousins started working that look only a couple of years ago and has claimed it as her own creation. And Birdo was shooting eggs at whores long before Michelle Duggar was shooting her ovary eggs at Jim Bob. Everyone steals from Birdo!

And yes, that wink is saying, “You huge sluts wish you had a vacuum mouth like me.”

Natasha Johnson, the Slingshot Bride!

Since Natasha and her dude Jacob met during a mechanical bull ride at a country bar in Utah, they wanted to hillbilly up their wedding all the way so they had it at Hobble Creek Lodge, home of the human slingshot. For the bouquet toss, Natasha strapped her ass into the slingshot and flew through the air like she was a Duggar baby after Michelle’s tortured and over it uterus spit her out. This glorious redneckery is the fourth example under the definition for ‘MURICA!

I hope Miley Cyrus gets back to her hillbilly roots for her wedding and does this for her bouquet toss. And I also hope that Liam Hemsworth stands at the base of the slingshot with a giant pair of scissors.

via CNN (For Mario)

Audrey Landers (57)
Chace Crawford (28)
Ryan Cabrera (31)
Priyanka Chopra (31)
Kristen Bell (33)
Kelly Reilly (36)
Elsa Pataky (37)
Grant Bowler (45)
Vin Diesel (46)
Jim Bob Duggar (48)
Wendy Williams (49)
Elizabeth McGovern (52)
Margo Martindale (62)
Richard Branson (63)
Martha Reeves (72)
James Brolin (73)
Paul Verhoeven (75)
Dick Button (84)
Nelson Mandela (95)

Let this educational clip from July 4th’s episode of General Hospital teach you a lesson or two. If you’re ever holding a plastic baby doll at a barbecue and it pisses all over you, make sure to toss it in the opposite direction of the BBQ. If you do toss it on the grill and it catches on fire, immediately call 911.

And somewhere, Michelle Duggar just watched this clip and screamed, “See, THIS is what i was talking about!”

via Michael Fairman (Thanks Lahoma)

If you are a B list actor and ask someone to marry you, your first step after asking should not be to call your sometime male lover to tell him the good news. (CDAN)

Of course you should call your boyfriend after getting engaged to a chick. Somebody has to help you plan the wedding.

Matthew Morrison just got engaged, but my Gaydar has never gotten hard around him and that’s saying a lot (see: green bow tie). Dude is on Glee and a Broadway actor, so I’m surprised he didn’t rent out the cover of People to announce that “Yep, he’s straight!”

I’m going to guess Jennifer Love Hewitt’s dude.

This family is very famous, with branches of the family tree reaching into entertainment, fashion, and the media. And there is a big family fight going on right now over a sex tape that one of the younger members of the family wants to release!

The family has banded together to try to prevent a sex tape featuring one of the foxy young girls in the family from ever seeing the light of day. They are trying everything from bribes to legal measures to try to prevent this tape from hitting the market.

We’ve got some news for the family: Given how determined the girl is to release it, there may not be enough silver in the world to keep their family’s reputation intact! (Blind Gossip)

When you see the words “sex tape” and “family” in the same sentence, you immediately pour bleach into your ear holes to disinfect your brain after thinking about the Hogan family sex tape. After you do that, you assume that the story is about the Kartrashians since the Jenner girls have to make a manufactured sex tape in order to graduate from Professor Pimp Mama Kris’ Home School for Hos-In-Training. But this isn’t about the Kartrashians. PMK trying to keep a sex tape starring one of her own from coming out is like me trying to keep this french toast stick from going into my mouth.

I’m going to guess THE DUGGARS!

Which picture-perfect Hollywood pair likes to invite lucky strangers into bed for three-ways and has their assistants outfit their hotel suites with plastic sheets ahead of the encounters? (Page Six)

If the words “picture-perfect” weren’t anywhere in that blind item, I’d say Kanye and Kim since I’m sure he throws a hissy fit every time one of their hos throws a pissy fit on Kim and stains his $10,000 white leather and satin sheets.

I’m going to guess Justin Theroux and Jennifer Aniston?

Which male fashion star is rumored to have been caught sleeping with an underage man? (Page Six)

Kunty Karl? But they weren’t doing it. Karl was just sucking the youth and innocence out of the dude’s nipple. That’s all. Totally platonic!

This A list mostly movie actress who is an Academy Award nominee/winner was a restaurant the other night and they lost her reservation and dared to make her wait a few minutes. Not a good idea. The foreign born actress went off on the staff in several different languages and threatened them that if was not sitting in five minutes she would have her husband buy the place and then close it. (CDAN)

Salma Hayek?

This former A+ list celebrity/singer made several sex tapes a few years ago. Actually more than several. The disturbing thing about them is the guy who is trying to sell them and the fact that she is not using protection despite the STD she knows about during filming. (CDAN)

Brit Brit during her shaved head days? But what I want to know is if she wore a pink merkin and if they used Cheetos-flavored lube.

The most superficial town in America went to great lengths to make sure Amanda Bynes didn’t call them ugly and fat too. – Zombabe

Runners-up:

The Nicole Kidman look alike convention has gotten ridiculous. – Fruitibras

Why Duggar sperm is so potent: they’re on a rigorous training schedule that no ovum can withstand. – Texndoc

After stating in People Magazine that he’d like his next wife to already be a Scientologist, Tom Cruise noticed that the girls auditioning looked awfully familiar. – Vilmer Walderrama

via Cheezburger